Punch (30.1856)

98

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[March ¥, 1856.


THE BEARD MOVEMENT.
Young Snobley (a regular Lady-killer). "How the Gals do stare at one's Beard !
I scppose they think I *m A HORFICER just COME FROM THE CrIMEAR !"

JUSTICE THREATENED WITH CORRUPTION.
_ The Judges of the Court of Queen's Bench scarcely ever
sit at Guildhall without complaining of the horrible odour
of the p'ace; and the other day justice was literally turned
out of doors, for Lord Campbell, finding that the. windows
could not be opened, to allow the noxious vapours to escape,
made his own escape by the nearest aperture. The Court
was broken up for the purpose of ventilation, the Chief
Justice making for his private room with precipitancy,
whilst the bar rushed in a body towards the robing-room,
and the almost asphyxiated usher found safety in hanging
himself half out of a skylight.
Until the other day, nobody had the faintest idea how
it was that the Judges should be in such very bad odour
whenever they got into the City, but it has just been
discovered that, the Court of Queen's Bench in Guildhall,
is exactly over a spot in which a lot of lord mayors, and a
miscellaneous mob of aldermen have "claimed the privilege"
of being buried. Lord Campbell has, in tact, been sitting
on the family vault of the Corporation of London, and the
Bench is little better than a tombstone. The Court is a
mere civic cemetery, and the Jutges ought at once to be
exonerated from the painful duty of dealing with the bones
of contention of the living among the skeletons of the
departed; and sitting over aldermanic remains to dispose
of remands. We do not see how the difficulty is to be got
rid of, unless the Court issues at once a writ of habeas
corpus to some undertaker in the neighbourhood, and the
Judges refuse to sit in the obnoxious locality again, until
a writ of inquiry Iihs been executed, and a return of nulla
bona shall satisfy their Lordshps that a clearance has been
effected.
City Intelligence.
It is lumoured, on we know not how credible authority,
that Lords Cardigan and La can have announced that
they intend competing for the recently vacated post of Lord
Mayor's Trumpeter. By way of qualii'yingfor the situation,
t.heir Lordihips have beeu most assiduous of late in blowing
t heir own trumpets, and t heir capacity in this respect is little
to be doubted. It is understood that in offering themselves
as candidates for the office, the noble Lords &re mainly
actua'ed by a desire to carry out the principle which has
been so much ignored in their profession, namely, that ol
putting the right man into the right place.

EIKESHIPS IN ERENCH SALOONS.
The following questions may be worthy of consideration by the
Emperor of the Erencii.
' >o the following ladies reside in Paris :—
The Princess LieveNj And is she the reputed wife of M. Gtjizot ?
The Baroness de Seebach. Is this lady the daughter of Count
Nesselrode, and the better—not to say worse—half of the Saxon
M mister ?
Have these fashionable ladies for a correspondent at St. Petersburg
Madame Zographos, nee Sotjtz,q, wife of the Greek Ambassador, and
have i hey under their orders a certain Madame Kaeergi, niece of
Nesselrode, Madame Mabazlt, Madame Meyenoorf, and Princess
Ypsilanti, Greek Panariote, together with two ladies of the Obrkskof
family ? These things are averred by a contemporary, with the addition
tfiat the females in question are on the Parisian police-list as Russian
sp'es, who frequent political saloons in the Erench capital for the pur-
pose of eaves-dropping, and picking up all the information they can in
order to forward it to the enemy.
If these assertions are true, it may be suggested to Napoleon the
Third, not perhaps whether it, would be advisable to take the peppery
step of deporting the above-named ladies to Cayenne, but whether it
would not be well to give them some lesson in becoming deportment.
We would propose a decree or ordinance compelling them all either to
quit France, or to appear in Bloomer costume, as appropriate to their
unfeminine and unladylike vocation, and by way of a distinction, which
they have merited, and which might serve as a warning to those whom
their intrigues may concern.

Tight, but not Eight.

We see that money is " tight" again, and we should rather like to
know the period when money does not happen to be "tight." But
this tightness we should say was principally owing to the fact of per-,...... .„.,,
Sons, Who hold money, Or in whose hands money is deposited for j person soever, until after Sabbath midnight,
security, being as a class extremely close-fisted. \ Morning Trumpeter Office, Pooh-Pooh Lan

PARAGRAPH EOR AN IRISH PAPER.
It appears that the wrongs of poor old Ireland are not escaped bj
acquiring the rights of a citizen of the United States. The emigrant
from the isle of Erin to the continent of America £nds himself where
he was. He flies the land of cold Saxon tyranny to a climate that
proves too hot to hold him ; which comes to the same thing. The Irish
Exodus is therefore retracing itself, and returning from the hre m»o
the comparatively tolerable position of the frying-pan. The liberty for
which the Irishman crossed ' he Atlantic proves to be chains. His how!
is unattended to, his shriek disregards d. his yell is treated with contempt
and indifference, and his struggles for emancipation from the thraldom
of Saxon order are restrained by force. Under these maddening and
infuriating circumstances, our Hibernian patriots are pursuing two
courses which practically resolve themselves into one. Some, as has
already been stated, are returning to their unhappy misgoverned
country, and others, combined in a harmonious body of discontented
people, are proceeding to the desert wilds, therein to form a separate
state connected with the Union, in the hope of reproducing by that
means the land of their birth.

rPHE MORNING TRUMPETER.—The readers of the Morning Trum-
-i- peter are respectfully informed that in iuture the Trumpeter will not be published
on Mondays until noon. The proprietors of the M. T. are remorsefully induced to make
this chinge, so that the compositors employed upon that most pious journal, may no
longer desecrate any part of the Sabbath, by attending to work as hitherto on Sunday
evenings, that in order to meet a most unchristianlike competition, the Trumpeter
might be published on the Mondays at the same early hour with other morning
papers.
The proprietors of the Trumpeter feel that as consistent, conscientious men, they
can no longer open their office lor labour on the Sunday evenings, whilst the Trumpeter
so powerfully vindicates the whole sanctity of the whole Sunday. The Trumpeter can
no longer denounce the sinners of Kensington Gardens who " march to the judgment to
Sunday music," whilst, at the same hour, from 6 or 7 p.m., the Trumpeter's compositors
take their places to do ungodly work for the early edition of the Monday morning.
Henceforth, The Morv.mg Trumpeter wile not appear until noon on Mondays, and the
office of the M. T. will not be opened to any compositor, engine-man, or any otner