DOI issue:
June 7, 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16617#0239
June 7, 1856.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
231
SOME UNREPORTED ILLUMINATIONS.
(By our own Correspondent.)
he Knightsbridge Tie Shop.—Bri-
tannia offering an eel-pie to
Louis Napoleon, and a small
Peace to tiie Emperor of Russia.
Jones and Company.—TheBritish
Lion in oil lamps, with his eye
blown out by the wind, and his
tail knocked off by an accident
in fixing it.
Mr. Dunup's Chambers.—Trans-
parency. A brown-holland blind,
with a Palmer's candle at the
back of it.
The Kensington Beadle. — A
cocked-hat—in the window—sur-
rounded with Child's night-lights,
with the words—"Pax—and for-
wards light goods " on a card over
the centre.
Finns, Fish Shop. —A trans-
parency of Britannia holding a
label inscribed with the words,
"Shrimps fresh from Graves.end
every day," and above it a gun-
barrel filled with 0} sters.
The Wine Company.—The British
Standard blended with the Natural Standard of Sherry.
The Honourable Seedy Nogo.—k paper lanthorn painted green to
represent the Baltic Sea, and a kitchen candle inside it, to carry out the
idea of a "dip" in the Baltic.
At the Government Offices in Downing Street preparation had been
made to display the word Peace in very large letters, but by some
characteristic mismanagement, the work was not more than half lighted,
and the authorities were at C when we ieft them.
PARAGRAPHS FOR THE PROVINCIAL PAPERS.
The statement that Mr. Frederick Peel went up as Stick to the
largest rocket has been denied. It is only just to the high qualifi-
cations of this rising young statesman to inform our readers that his
failing to go up was not attributable to any want of fitness on his part,
nor to any expressed desire on the part of anybody that he would stay
on earth.
There is a student at the University College, who reads a page of
Alison regularly every day. He began at first with half-a-page, but
now he can manage an entire page. By persevering unremittingly at
this praiseworthy pursuit, the young enthusiast calculates that, with
good health, he shall be able to get through all Alison's works easily
in less than forty years.
Mr. Gladstone has no indention of going to Rome this year.
THE NOBLEMAN ON THE TURF.
I'm a man on the Turf—and of England a Peer,
A stern moralist there, I a gambler am here;
With every low blackguard I'm ready to bet,
If I think I am likely his money to get.
In my zeal for Religion, I firmly refuse
To allow the political claims of the Jews,
And I think if a Hebrew now sat in my place,
To my Order and House he would be a disgrace.
I consider the Jews as contemptible brutes,
Devoted to lucre's most sordid pursuits,
Ever bent on acquiring, without earning, pel'";
Yet that's just, on the racecourse what I do myself.
In the City on 'Change 1 should scorn to be seen,
For the stockjobber's craft I think dirty and mean,
But the Tutf I frequent without scruple or shame,
To win other men's money by cunning my aim.
But the Turf is the Turf; it is Swell, it is Crack,
There nothing—except a mere blackleg—is black ;
There is avarice genteel—by nobility's grace,
And high station low cunning exalts at a race.
I suspect that the Turf wa^ devised, with intent,
To afford aristocracy's bosom a vent
For the wealth-getting instinct—wherewith the heart throbs,
In the bosoms of nobles as well as of snobs.
We of course cannot practise what 'a called honest trade ;
'Twould debase us, defile and pollute, and degrade :
But a gentleman takes an allowable course,
Trying money to make by a bet on a horse.
Yet 'tis strange on a racecourse oui selves we should find
Ever mixed up along with the scum of mankind:
Thus our fellows appear—I confess it with grief—
To be pickpocket, thimblerig—scoundrel and thief.
HOMCEOPATHIC GLOBULES. (Second Dose.)
The louder the Quack the longer will be the Bill.
Macbeth'$ observation, "Throw physic to the dogs" is an insult to the in'elligenca
of those animals.
Patent medicines derive their name from Patere—to lie openly.
The Constitution that goes too often to the Bottle is sure to be broken at last.
The man who doctors himself has a fool for his patient.
An officious fiiend may be compared to a Doctor who gives " Advice gratis," in
order to make you swallow the intolerable quantity of physic he generally prescribes
with it.
A Shilling is the ordinary gratuity for recruiting, but when you wish to have your
health recruited, you must put a sovereign to it to make up the full compliment of a
physiciau's fee.
The repairs of one's body are about as endless as the repairs of any other tenement.
When once you get the bricklayer, or the Doctor in the house, you never can tell when
you will get him out again.
An Innocent Question,
" Mr. Punch,—I see that at the firework Drawing-room the Queen
A VERY HARD PLACE. ' wore a train of light blue silk, embroidered all over with a palm
u ,. ... pattern.' I say that the palm was in allusion to peace, but Pa, who is
Mere is rather an unreasonable requisition advertised in the ± imes.-— \ sucj, a po]jtician says it was in compliment, to Palm-erston. Please,
BOYS' REFORMATORY.—WANTED, an ASSISTANT, unmarried: which is right ? "Yours Emma."
he will be required to sleep in the house, and take the oversight of the boys during ----
the hoars of rest. Also to impart the usual instruction given in such an institution,
an<! afford such other aid as the governor may require. Winslow, "x ou re Wanted.
How will he be able to sleep in the house and take the oversight of \ Something has been s&id, but nothing has been done, about the
the boys at the same time ? Or, if he is to sleep in the day, and oversee danger of devoting public cabs to the purpose of removing patients to
the boys at night, during what time will it be possible for him to and from the hospitals. Tue evil is certainly one that ought to be
impart instruction to them, and afford other aid to the governor? checked, but it is difficult to leave it to the discretion of the cabman
to refuse a passenger on account of ill-health, for a driver would be
■ sure to look upon all sixpenny fares as cases of tizzies (phthisis).
Country Innocence.
A Fat old lady from the country was reading out the various paternal love,
inscriptions of the devices and transparencies on the night of the; " I Love the Poles," says the Emperor of Russia, "as my own
illuminations, when she came to " Vive la Reine." She hammered her children " The Czar'has a very ancient authority for the peculiarity
umbrella on the pavement, and exclaimed, quite indignantly—" Five la 0f ys a'ffection. After such fashion, did not Saturn love his little
Reine/ well, I hope to goodness it won't, for we have had Rain more one3 p
than enough latelv ! "
F " THE SOCIETY FOR THE CONVERSION OF THE JEWS"
Tl
BLIGHTED AMBITION.—It is Said that ail the four infants who took A will only spend the same amount of money annually upon the suppression of lloly-
the leadin" nrizes in the Boston Babv Show have all since died We well street, and the conversion of its dirty inhabitants to the ways of cleanliness and
mcirrtuuig m M'e -DOSl.On -DaLy OUOW nave dll Since Oiea. VV e Dectability Mr. Punch will be happy to subscribe to its Funds until so desirable an
Understand that henceforth the undertakers in general are about to get objeCt is carried out to the great improvement of the Metropolis and the unequivocal
Up another infantine exhibition. ! gratification of every civilised member of the community.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
231
SOME UNREPORTED ILLUMINATIONS.
(By our own Correspondent.)
he Knightsbridge Tie Shop.—Bri-
tannia offering an eel-pie to
Louis Napoleon, and a small
Peace to tiie Emperor of Russia.
Jones and Company.—TheBritish
Lion in oil lamps, with his eye
blown out by the wind, and his
tail knocked off by an accident
in fixing it.
Mr. Dunup's Chambers.—Trans-
parency. A brown-holland blind,
with a Palmer's candle at the
back of it.
The Kensington Beadle. — A
cocked-hat—in the window—sur-
rounded with Child's night-lights,
with the words—"Pax—and for-
wards light goods " on a card over
the centre.
Finns, Fish Shop. —A trans-
parency of Britannia holding a
label inscribed with the words,
"Shrimps fresh from Graves.end
every day," and above it a gun-
barrel filled with 0} sters.
The Wine Company.—The British
Standard blended with the Natural Standard of Sherry.
The Honourable Seedy Nogo.—k paper lanthorn painted green to
represent the Baltic Sea, and a kitchen candle inside it, to carry out the
idea of a "dip" in the Baltic.
At the Government Offices in Downing Street preparation had been
made to display the word Peace in very large letters, but by some
characteristic mismanagement, the work was not more than half lighted,
and the authorities were at C when we ieft them.
PARAGRAPHS FOR THE PROVINCIAL PAPERS.
The statement that Mr. Frederick Peel went up as Stick to the
largest rocket has been denied. It is only just to the high qualifi-
cations of this rising young statesman to inform our readers that his
failing to go up was not attributable to any want of fitness on his part,
nor to any expressed desire on the part of anybody that he would stay
on earth.
There is a student at the University College, who reads a page of
Alison regularly every day. He began at first with half-a-page, but
now he can manage an entire page. By persevering unremittingly at
this praiseworthy pursuit, the young enthusiast calculates that, with
good health, he shall be able to get through all Alison's works easily
in less than forty years.
Mr. Gladstone has no indention of going to Rome this year.
THE NOBLEMAN ON THE TURF.
I'm a man on the Turf—and of England a Peer,
A stern moralist there, I a gambler am here;
With every low blackguard I'm ready to bet,
If I think I am likely his money to get.
In my zeal for Religion, I firmly refuse
To allow the political claims of the Jews,
And I think if a Hebrew now sat in my place,
To my Order and House he would be a disgrace.
I consider the Jews as contemptible brutes,
Devoted to lucre's most sordid pursuits,
Ever bent on acquiring, without earning, pel'";
Yet that's just, on the racecourse what I do myself.
In the City on 'Change 1 should scorn to be seen,
For the stockjobber's craft I think dirty and mean,
But the Tutf I frequent without scruple or shame,
To win other men's money by cunning my aim.
But the Turf is the Turf; it is Swell, it is Crack,
There nothing—except a mere blackleg—is black ;
There is avarice genteel—by nobility's grace,
And high station low cunning exalts at a race.
I suspect that the Turf wa^ devised, with intent,
To afford aristocracy's bosom a vent
For the wealth-getting instinct—wherewith the heart throbs,
In the bosoms of nobles as well as of snobs.
We of course cannot practise what 'a called honest trade ;
'Twould debase us, defile and pollute, and degrade :
But a gentleman takes an allowable course,
Trying money to make by a bet on a horse.
Yet 'tis strange on a racecourse oui selves we should find
Ever mixed up along with the scum of mankind:
Thus our fellows appear—I confess it with grief—
To be pickpocket, thimblerig—scoundrel and thief.
HOMCEOPATHIC GLOBULES. (Second Dose.)
The louder the Quack the longer will be the Bill.
Macbeth'$ observation, "Throw physic to the dogs" is an insult to the in'elligenca
of those animals.
Patent medicines derive their name from Patere—to lie openly.
The Constitution that goes too often to the Bottle is sure to be broken at last.
The man who doctors himself has a fool for his patient.
An officious fiiend may be compared to a Doctor who gives " Advice gratis," in
order to make you swallow the intolerable quantity of physic he generally prescribes
with it.
A Shilling is the ordinary gratuity for recruiting, but when you wish to have your
health recruited, you must put a sovereign to it to make up the full compliment of a
physiciau's fee.
The repairs of one's body are about as endless as the repairs of any other tenement.
When once you get the bricklayer, or the Doctor in the house, you never can tell when
you will get him out again.
An Innocent Question,
" Mr. Punch,—I see that at the firework Drawing-room the Queen
A VERY HARD PLACE. ' wore a train of light blue silk, embroidered all over with a palm
u ,. ... pattern.' I say that the palm was in allusion to peace, but Pa, who is
Mere is rather an unreasonable requisition advertised in the ± imes.-— \ sucj, a po]jtician says it was in compliment, to Palm-erston. Please,
BOYS' REFORMATORY.—WANTED, an ASSISTANT, unmarried: which is right ? "Yours Emma."
he will be required to sleep in the house, and take the oversight of the boys during ----
the hoars of rest. Also to impart the usual instruction given in such an institution,
an<! afford such other aid as the governor may require. Winslow, "x ou re Wanted.
How will he be able to sleep in the house and take the oversight of \ Something has been s&id, but nothing has been done, about the
the boys at the same time ? Or, if he is to sleep in the day, and oversee danger of devoting public cabs to the purpose of removing patients to
the boys at night, during what time will it be possible for him to and from the hospitals. Tue evil is certainly one that ought to be
impart instruction to them, and afford other aid to the governor? checked, but it is difficult to leave it to the discretion of the cabman
to refuse a passenger on account of ill-health, for a driver would be
■ sure to look upon all sixpenny fares as cases of tizzies (phthisis).
Country Innocence.
A Fat old lady from the country was reading out the various paternal love,
inscriptions of the devices and transparencies on the night of the; " I Love the Poles," says the Emperor of Russia, "as my own
illuminations, when she came to " Vive la Reine." She hammered her children " The Czar'has a very ancient authority for the peculiarity
umbrella on the pavement, and exclaimed, quite indignantly—" Five la 0f ys a'ffection. After such fashion, did not Saturn love his little
Reine/ well, I hope to goodness it won't, for we have had Rain more one3 p
than enough latelv ! "
F " THE SOCIETY FOR THE CONVERSION OF THE JEWS"
Tl
BLIGHTED AMBITION.—It is Said that ail the four infants who took A will only spend the same amount of money annually upon the suppression of lloly-
the leadin" nrizes in the Boston Babv Show have all since died We well street, and the conversion of its dirty inhabitants to the ways of cleanliness and
mcirrtuuig m M'e -DOSl.On -DaLy OUOW nave dll Since Oiea. VV e Dectability Mr. Punch will be happy to subscribe to its Funds until so desirable an
Understand that henceforth the undertakers in general are about to get objeCt is carried out to the great improvement of the Metropolis and the unequivocal
Up another infantine exhibition. ! gratification of every civilised member of the community.