Punch: Punch (32.1857)

February 7, 1857.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

63

LUNACY IN SHOE LANE.

LL yesterday, the attention of the
Lord Mayor was, we venture to
say, painfully engaged in a case of
unquestionable lunacy. A person,
who had evidently once moved in
genteel life, was brought before his
lordship, charged with disturbing
the neighbourhood, and obstructing
the way of Shoe Lane. The offender
was very fantastically drest, com-
bining in bis wardrobe the charac-
ter of the Asiatic and the Russian.
He said he had good reason for
his outward appearance. He had
laboured at the Turkish and Russian
questions all his life; long before
Lord Palmerston had sold Eng-
land to the Czar ; a fact which he
intended to prove by producing the
conveyancer (a gentleman of other-
wise unquestionable probity) who
had executed the treasonous docu-
ment.

Policeman X stated that he ap-
prehended the defendant in Shoe-
Lane. He was seated cross-legged
before the office of the Maundering
Herald, having covered a large
square of the pavement with writing, and with rude designs in coloured
■chalk. The writing he continually rubbed out, and as continually re-
newed. A great crowd was gathered about him, to the annoyance
of passengers, and to the general obstruction of the thoroughfare.

The defendant, when called upon for his defence, said he was content
to add another name to the list of martyrs. He had for some time
past written leaders for the Maundering Herald; but he thought he
should better serve the cause of truth by appealing to a larger body of
readers. He, therefore, had taken his place upon the pavement, and
had chalked out the perils of his country in chalk of many colours.
He had also illustrated them with a variety of designs. He defied any
of the men of the Academy to beat his design of Lord Palmerston,
iianging by the neck, with the Russian treaty peeping out of his
pocket. Besides, it was web! known to him that there was a hitch.
His lordship asked what he meant by a hitch ?
The defendant replied—He meant a hitch in the Cabinet. It was at
first a simple hitch; and then there was a hinge in the hitch ; and then
the hinge was got over; or rather it was cut by the Swcrd of the Lord
and of Gideon—Sir Robert Peel and the Bricks of Babylon—The
Empress op China and a Bed of Roses. Ought not Broadlands to
be sown with salt—and the Headsman be forthwith sent to take
measure of the Premier's neck?—Three cheers for Hampden and
Sidney, and down with Cupid !

His lordship, evidently moved by the poor man's condition, asked if
he had no friends ?

The policeman replied that he had made all inquiries, but without
success. He had heard that the gentleman was once very well-con-
nected, but was given up as hopeless when he became addicted to the
Maundering Herald. The stuff his lordship had heard was of the like
sort with what was written by the defendant on the pavement in Shoe
Lane.

The defendant, apparently unconscious of the statement of the
policeman, made a gesture as though desirous of silence. He then
said, " There's a split— a split with a handle; a split with a running
knot." The unfortunate man then sat down on the floor, took from
his pocket apiece of chalk, and with amazing rapidity wrote as follows :

" Pilhcock sat upon Pillicock Hill, which incontestibly accounts for
Lord Palmerston's bad eminence.

" Hopdance cries in poor Tom's belly for three red herrings,—which
to any sane mind sufficiently substantiates the treason of the ignoble
Premier.

" The Cabinet-door is not to be bolted with a boded parsnip; no,
my Lord Palmerston, nor are the hinges of the Cabinet to be oiled
with melted butter.

"Is England to be cast into a china teapot, and the very depths of
the nation to be stirred by the spoons of place ?

"But the thunders of vengeance are beginning to rub their eyes and
look about them, and the avenging lightning has already taken off its
nightcap.

' The showman puts his head into the Hon's mouth once too often ;
the lion wagged his tad; and the head dropt into the stomach. At
this minute, Lord Palmerston has his head in the mouth of the
British lion; the tail begins to oscillate, and—but to the sagacity of
the reader we leave the just, though horrible conclusion."

"That's the very same stuff, my lord," said the policeman, "that
the prisoner has filled all Shoe Lane with. The waggons can't get on
for it."

The defendant slowly rose, and with an air of authority addressed
one of the officers.—" You wiU immediately take that leader to the
Maundering Herald. And mind: large type, with double leads.
Understand me, double leads."

The Lord Mayor compassionately shook his head, and remarked
that it seemed a very hopeless case.

"He shall be hung in his Garter, my lord," said the defendant; and
he immediately caught up a policeman's hat, and on the glazed crown,
rapidly sketched a figure, depending from a gibbet. Underneath, the
artist wrote, "A trifle for Pam ! " Then, offering the hat to the Lord
Mayor, the defendant smilingly observed, "Erom the life, my lord,
and at your service."

His lordship said he really could not, in mercy to the poor man
himself, suffer him to go at large. He must have some security for his
future good conduct. No bail was forthcoming, and the defendant
was therefore locked up.

Late in the day, however, two persons—we considerately suppress
their names—appeared, and entered into the required bond. They
were very strangedooking individuals ; wearing their beards almost to
the waist. Indeed, altogether they had a most weird, and old-world
aspect. They were understood to be distinguished Southcotians, and
constant readers of The Maundering Herald. The cab, containing the
defendant and his bail, on leaving the office, took the direction of St.
George's Eields.

MORE ART-TREASURES.

The Directors of the Art-Treasury at Manchester are overwhelmed
with offers, on the part of all classes, to contribute to that exhibition.
They are daily compelled to decline propositions from parties whose
estimate of their own treasures is based upon private admiration rather
than upon public recognition of their merits.

Mr. Stubbs, of Aldgate, has proffered the loan of the following
works of art:—

His Grandfather, (twice Churchwarden) by Amos Smith, artist to the Portrait
Club that used to meet at the Toadstool Tavern, Houndsditch, in 1785-6.

An Anonymous Female, artist unknown, but from the circumstance of her having
a cat and kittens on her lap, supposed to be by Sir Godfrey Kneller, who painted
the Kit-Cats.

Engraved view of Hyde Park, George the Third reviewing the Volunteers.

Moonlight Scene, by Miss Stubbs. when she had had two quarters' drawing.
Remarkable for the artist's bold contrivance for introducing light, by cutting out
the moon, that i candle may stand behind.

Frord of Newgate in 17S8. The aerial perspective a little injured by injudicious
cleaning by Master Stubbs in a washhand basin, but archEeologically interesting.
Anonymous.

Mr. and Mrs Stubbs. in Mack silhouette. Additionally valuable from their having bee:\
executed on Windmill Hill, Gravesend, on the actual wedding-day, the new-married
couple having previously ordered dinner at Rosherville. Anon.

Two Statues in Plaster. Boy, undraped, reading. Boy, undraped, writing.

Statuette Bust, very small. Mr. Buckstone or Mr. Wright, but the hat arjd 11030
being gone, identification is difficult.

Spangled and coloured full-length Portrait of Mr. Hicks as Bfdgorio, in the Dumb
Imp of the Demon's Gorge. This noble portrait was offered to the Garriek Club for ter
shillings, but rejected, through the intrigues of jealous artists.

Inkstand, China, in saucer to match, with two dogs fighting, and the legend,
'* Let dogs delight," &c. Historically interesting as the inkstand used by John
Bumpas, the liberator of Aldgate, when he signed, in 1803, his memorable protest
against " The Thrupp'ny Poor-Rate."

A Bone Knife Handle, curiously engraved with the cipher " B. M.," and therefore
supposed to have been the property of Bloody [Queen] Mary.

Specimen of Embroidery of the Eighteenth Century, being an Exampler, or
Sampler, worked by Mary Jane Ejax, aged 11, in 1799, and representing a rural
residence, animals, and trees, with alphabet, and Arabic numerals, and the distich

" I can stitch, and hem, and fell,
And I can kiss and never tell."

All the above have, upon the recommendation of Mr. Peter Cun-
ningham, been thankfully declined, but as it is not designed to
discourage offers of the kind, any sinular works may be left at Mr.
Punch's office for that gentleman's preliminary inspection, before
sending them to Manchester.

An Anticipated.Performance.

{In the House of Commons.)

Stage Manager Lewis {coming boldly forward). " Gentlemen, will
you allow me to announce, in consequence _ of its great success, the
repetition of the Income-Tax every year untd further notice ? "

Liberal and Conservative Members (unanimously). "Off! off!
off! off!"

A Million Cries {heard outside). "Off! off!! off!!! off!!!!
OEE !!!!!" [And Oft goes the Stranger accordingly.

Leoal Destitution.—The " eye of the Law " has become so weak
from the want of proper practice in the different courts, that it is going
to advertise for a pupd.