Punch: Punch (33.1857)

September 19, 1857.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVA1U

117

THE LEADER OF A SEA-SIDE PAPER.

'At this happy time of the
year, it is most delicious to
walk by the seashore, and if
we do meet with freckles on
our cheeks, at all events we
have the consolation of know-
ing that there is Rowland's
Kalydor that will remove
them; we saunter along gaily,
and pick up pebbles, as plen-
tiful as bargains at Noses
and Sons' Emporium, where
Lyons' ribbons are actually
being given away at lid. a
yard. The majestic sea may
roll in tones of thunder not
less deep, not less enthral-
ling than those of Father
Gavazzi, who is still giving
his lectures to enlightened
millions twice, and sometimes
three times a week, at the
Town Hall. But the voice of
Nature is ever sweet, and,
unlike the vox humana, does
not require, to mollify it, such soothing restoratives as Dr. Stolberg's Voice
Lozenges, which are 'so strongly recommended by the faculty.' Such joys are
lasting as the Giessen Blue, a large quantity of which has just arrived at Perkins',
the extensive tallow-chandler, who lives at the corner of Huntriss Bow; and
not only lasting, we may say, but effervescing too, partaking in that respect of
the admirable qualities of Walker's British Champagne. Anon, the white orb
of the moon leaps gaily as Mademoiselle Petit 'Oze from the surface of the
waters that are curling of their own accord, without the aid in the slightest
degree of Iron's Magic Curling Fluid. Not unaptly may the silvery moon be
called 'the lamp of the night,' for she shines with an effulgence fully equal to
Price's far-famed Patent Candies, all sizes of which, from two to six wicks, may
be had at the 'Glowworm,' on the South Cliff, next door to the 'Cow and
Snuffers,' the landlord of which, we are glad to state, has just broached a fresh
cask of his ' Stunning Fine Ale,' which, by amateurs, has been pronounced quite
as good, if not better than Allslopp's. The stars above are shining with redoubled
brilliancy, as though they were anxiously endeavouring to eclipse the Stars that are
visible every night, from half-past seven to eleven, at the Theatre Royal, so
admirably conducted by Messrs. Roxby and Beverly, and crowded nightly by
the most fashionable audiences. The wind soughs and sighs, as with the wail of an
Infant, reminding us involuntarily that the best Soojie is to be had, in large and
small packages, at the Chemist's, Sampson Hugill's, whose new stock of tooth-
brushes is well worth inspection. The sea-gull_ must not be forgotten. It Hashes
in the moonlight, and mews melodiously, charming the eye, and pleasing the ear,
not less agreeably than the dulcet voice and manly form of the Rev. J. W. Honey-
dew, the celebrated preacher from Alls wells', London, who holds forth, we see, from
the'card he has just left us, at the "Jerusalem Artichoke," at half-past ten, next
Sunday. But we must away from this too fascinating scene. The evening air
somewhat chills one, and we will recall to our ' mind's eye' (the best spectacles, out-
and-out, are Solomon's, just round the market-place) the beauties of this glorious
globe, as we sit at home pensively in one of 'Graham's easy-elastic-double-
embracing arm-chairs for invalids,'with a glass before us of Brett's very best
British Brandy, which at the ' Ladies' Reticule,' in Paradise Row, can be had for
one half the price of the foreign. Truly the face of nature changes as many
times in an hour as Mr. Woodin, the celebrated costume-snatcher, who has
condescended to visit our humble town 'for one night only.' Encouraging the
hope that the news from Genoa will be as favourable as the last, we will conclude
by stating that the Box-Office is open from ten till four. Tickets may be had
at any of the bathing-machines, brought recently to such a high degree of
perfection! by our talented townsman, John Livesey. For further particulars,
the visitor is referred to our Advertising Columns."

NURSERY NOMENCLATURE.

" Sir,—I have lately, in the course of reading the periodicals and papers, met
rather frequently with the word bassinette. A short time ago I think I heard an
individual of the female sex use this expression in such a connection as to indicate
the thing signified to be some kind of appurtenance to the nursery. But I do not
find the word in French. There is bassinet, a fire-pan; the pan of a flint gun; a
helmet or basnet; a portion of the renal anatomy; a name for the ranunculus or
buttercup. Bassinette, I suppose, is merely bassinet as pronounced by British nurse-
maids. Well, then, but what has a baby to do with a fire-pan, or with the other
things just enumerated as denoted by the term bassinet? Babies, I believe,
ire, or ought to be, soused in a pan of water every morning, and well scrubbed;
but if bassinet or bassinette means a water-pan, what is the meaning of certain
people who advertise 'Bassinettes, 14?. (Sa., trimmed'? It is very true that
babies' caps and clothes are decorated with trimming, which may gratify the eyes
of their parents, though superfluous to mine, but for the rim of an infant's

bathing-pan I should think that a border of fringe can
be neither useful nor ornamental. I fancy one of your
clever artists might illustrate this subject bv a little
sketch entitled ' Baby and Bassinette '—the baby, crying,
of course, as babies always are when not asleep or feeding,
would constitute a humorous figure: and the cut would
prove instructive to many students of advanced years,
who seldom find themselves in those domestic circles
where conversation generally turns upon grey-powder,
vaccination, tops and bottoms, and all that sort of thing,
which no doubt includes bassinettes.

" I am, Sir, your constant reader,

" Ccelebs."

"P.S. Of course Paterfamilias knows what bassi.
nettes are— to his cost."

THE LAST MAN.

The last of the Londoners lagging behind,

At this ruralising season,
Retorts on the Tourists or rest of mankind,

And boasts he has excellent reason.

While they 're on the strain in buss, steamer, and tram,
Through the land of Jean Paul or Beranger,

And are losing their luggage and temper in vain,
He's not at such pains se deranger.

While they 're on a hunt for a bed-room to spare,
Or for sheets—to be had for the spinning—

He can have every bedroom in Bloornsbury Square,
And acres of family linen.

If coastwards they go, why the Coast has its woes—

Its landladies, artful old dodgers,
With other unnameable pests of repose,

Who break their long fasts upon lodgers.

There " Uglies " abound—a reproach to the scene,
And babes and their nursemaids—a greater:

While he meets from Highgate to Camberwell Green
Not a babe or a perambulator.

Here the streets are so empty, the alleys expand,
To be circumspect here would be silly ;

You can waltz up and down and across the Strand,
Or play skittles in Piccadilly.

The organ-men mostly are gone to the coast,
The sweepers seek other employments ;

The bagpipes and Niggers, we thankfully boast,
Have now become rural enjoyments.

And as for the beggars, that horrible bore
Is transferred from the town population,

While the swell mob consider their season is o'er,
And they too have earned a vacation.

The burglar exhausted, in want of a change,

Has deserted the suburb of Notting ;
And while he's inspecting some castle or grange,

We go without dread of garotting.

The poleaxes doze, and an air of repose

Steals over the beadle's grim features,
And the flunkeys have doffed their plush and their hose,

And look like the rest of God's creatures.

In short, if for quiet and comfort you pant

At breakfast, tea, dinner, and supper;
Cut the country and come up to Town, if you want

To throw off dark care from your crupper.

Thus the last Londoner lagging behind

At this ruralising season,
Retorts on the Tourists or rest of mankind,

And boasts he has excellent reason.

Musical Intelligence.

(From our Own Fiaiio-Forte Tuner.)

The waste ground in Farringdon Street has just been
taken by a large company, for the purpose of erecting le
London a third Italian Opera House ! ! 1