DOI Heft:
March 7, 1863
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16871#0108
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
101
March 7, 1863.]
Omnibus Driver (to Coster). “ Now then, Irish / pull a one side, will you ? What are you gaping at i did younever see a Milisher Man before ? ”
[A disgustingly ignorant observation, in the opinion of young Longslip, Lieutenant in Her Majesty’s Fusilier Guards.
FOREIGN NOTIONS OF FUN.
{To Mr. Punch.)
“ Sir,
“We continually hear some persons praising Continental
peoples for the light-hearted gaiety which they exhibit in advantageous
contrast to our own insular gloom. Below, extracted from the Roman
correspondence of the Post, is what I suppose most of those persons
will acknowledge to be an example of that sprightliness which they so
much admire. Your readers must know that on the last day of the
Carnival at Rome, as many amusements as possible are crammed into
the shortest time, because Popery commands all lights at public places
of entertainment to be put out at 1P30. Accordingly, the last day’s
work—as the Post correspondent happily calls it—of a regular Carnival
pleasure-hunter is as follows
“ At nine a.m., he goes to the opera ; at two p.m., he rushes home to snatch a
hasty meal, and put on a Carnival dress; until sunset he is engaged in offering
bouquets and pelting confetti in the Corso, and after the horse-race, he is ready to
return to the scene of action to keep his own moccolo lighted, and to extinguish all
the others he can come near.”
“ What pains this poor creature in the form of a rational human being
must take to turn pleasure into hard labour ! One of the most pressing
questions of the day is, how to punish our criminals ? I declare that, if
1 were a convict, I should object to no punishment, short of corporal,
so much as to a day of such pleasure as that above described. To have
to rise early enough to breakfast and go to the Opera at 9 a.m.—of
course without having read the Times, to rush home to lunch and swallow
a hasty meal, regardless of consequences, to put on a Carnival dress, and
look like a fool, to employ, myself all the afternoon till dark, in offering
people nosegays and pelting them with sugar-plums, and then to run
about for some hours with a lighted candle, trying to blow the lights of
other fools out—all this entirely unproductive exertion would, to me, be
much worse than the treadmill.
“ But I should have yet more to endure if I were condemned to suffer
the whole term of the Carnivalist’s enjoyment. For—
“ When the great bell of the Capitol puts an end to this fun, he dons his mask
and domino, and is off tc the masked ball at the Apollo, to squeeze and be squeezed.
to quiz and be quizzed, until the relentless line of soldiers advances from the back
of the stage to drive the reluctant revellers out at the pit door, and then our Carni-
val lover is sure to be engaged for some cena, and prepares himself for the austerities
of Lent by an enormous and indigestible supper, which renders fasting on Ash-
VYednesday a salutary as well as a religious observance.”
“ If there is one annoyance greater than another, it is, in my case, that
of squeezing and being squeezed. I abhor quizzing, and am exasperated
by being quizzed, that is, to my face, for people may ridicule me behind
my back, where they can’t disturb me, as much as they please. But,
even if I could take any delight in dressing up as a buffoon and dancing,
and behaving like a zany and a idiot, to have my tomfoolery cut short,
and myself expelled from the scene of it, by the charge of a line of
soldiers, would drive me wild with indignation and rage. The climax
of all that is horrible is the conclusion of a series of irksome insanities
by an indigestible supper! I defy the force of folly to go farther than
that. When you ’re at Rome do as the Romans do, says the proverb. To
doing as they do on the last day of the Carnival I would infinitely prefer
picking oakum; an employment not simply penal.
“ However, 1 am not illiberal, and wishing always, if possible, to
write with a purpose, I would suggest that the amusements of the
Roman Carnival might be beneficially introduced into Asylums for
Idiots. For mere lunatics they might be too exciting; convicts,
although Englishmen, might not entertain all the aversion to them that
is felt by your humble servant,
“ The Owlery, March, 1863.” “ Smelfungus.”
Morals of the Navy.
A Maiden Lady of uncertain age, whose nepnew has just passed his
first examination for the Navy, writes to us, saying how shocked she
is to hear from her youthful relative that a “ sea-caplain often in a
transport hugs the shore,” and that he never even receives a reprimand
for such indecorous conduct.
New Volunteer Corps.—In order to add military splendour to
the Royal Procession, the Rooks of Richmond Park are coming up tc
London with their magnificent Caw.
Vol. 44.
4
101
March 7, 1863.]
Omnibus Driver (to Coster). “ Now then, Irish / pull a one side, will you ? What are you gaping at i did younever see a Milisher Man before ? ”
[A disgustingly ignorant observation, in the opinion of young Longslip, Lieutenant in Her Majesty’s Fusilier Guards.
FOREIGN NOTIONS OF FUN.
{To Mr. Punch.)
“ Sir,
“We continually hear some persons praising Continental
peoples for the light-hearted gaiety which they exhibit in advantageous
contrast to our own insular gloom. Below, extracted from the Roman
correspondence of the Post, is what I suppose most of those persons
will acknowledge to be an example of that sprightliness which they so
much admire. Your readers must know that on the last day of the
Carnival at Rome, as many amusements as possible are crammed into
the shortest time, because Popery commands all lights at public places
of entertainment to be put out at 1P30. Accordingly, the last day’s
work—as the Post correspondent happily calls it—of a regular Carnival
pleasure-hunter is as follows
“ At nine a.m., he goes to the opera ; at two p.m., he rushes home to snatch a
hasty meal, and put on a Carnival dress; until sunset he is engaged in offering
bouquets and pelting confetti in the Corso, and after the horse-race, he is ready to
return to the scene of action to keep his own moccolo lighted, and to extinguish all
the others he can come near.”
“ What pains this poor creature in the form of a rational human being
must take to turn pleasure into hard labour ! One of the most pressing
questions of the day is, how to punish our criminals ? I declare that, if
1 were a convict, I should object to no punishment, short of corporal,
so much as to a day of such pleasure as that above described. To have
to rise early enough to breakfast and go to the Opera at 9 a.m.—of
course without having read the Times, to rush home to lunch and swallow
a hasty meal, regardless of consequences, to put on a Carnival dress, and
look like a fool, to employ, myself all the afternoon till dark, in offering
people nosegays and pelting them with sugar-plums, and then to run
about for some hours with a lighted candle, trying to blow the lights of
other fools out—all this entirely unproductive exertion would, to me, be
much worse than the treadmill.
“ But I should have yet more to endure if I were condemned to suffer
the whole term of the Carnivalist’s enjoyment. For—
“ When the great bell of the Capitol puts an end to this fun, he dons his mask
and domino, and is off tc the masked ball at the Apollo, to squeeze and be squeezed.
to quiz and be quizzed, until the relentless line of soldiers advances from the back
of the stage to drive the reluctant revellers out at the pit door, and then our Carni-
val lover is sure to be engaged for some cena, and prepares himself for the austerities
of Lent by an enormous and indigestible supper, which renders fasting on Ash-
VYednesday a salutary as well as a religious observance.”
“ If there is one annoyance greater than another, it is, in my case, that
of squeezing and being squeezed. I abhor quizzing, and am exasperated
by being quizzed, that is, to my face, for people may ridicule me behind
my back, where they can’t disturb me, as much as they please. But,
even if I could take any delight in dressing up as a buffoon and dancing,
and behaving like a zany and a idiot, to have my tomfoolery cut short,
and myself expelled from the scene of it, by the charge of a line of
soldiers, would drive me wild with indignation and rage. The climax
of all that is horrible is the conclusion of a series of irksome insanities
by an indigestible supper! I defy the force of folly to go farther than
that. When you ’re at Rome do as the Romans do, says the proverb. To
doing as they do on the last day of the Carnival I would infinitely prefer
picking oakum; an employment not simply penal.
“ However, 1 am not illiberal, and wishing always, if possible, to
write with a purpose, I would suggest that the amusements of the
Roman Carnival might be beneficially introduced into Asylums for
Idiots. For mere lunatics they might be too exciting; convicts,
although Englishmen, might not entertain all the aversion to them that
is felt by your humble servant,
“ The Owlery, March, 1863.” “ Smelfungus.”
Morals of the Navy.
A Maiden Lady of uncertain age, whose nepnew has just passed his
first examination for the Navy, writes to us, saying how shocked she
is to hear from her youthful relative that a “ sea-caplain often in a
transport hugs the shore,” and that he never even receives a reprimand
for such indecorous conduct.
New Volunteer Corps.—In order to add military splendour to
the Royal Procession, the Rooks of Richmond Park are coming up tc
London with their magnificent Caw.
Vol. 44.
4