DOI Heft:
April 10, 1869
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16883#0157
April 10, 1869.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
BIRDS, BEASTS, AND FISHES.
CHAPTER THE TWELFTH.—THE REHEARSALS—DIFFICULTIES—OF MR.
SALMON—MR. DACE—MR. PORPOISE—MR. SALMON AND HIS MAN,
WOODPECKER—MEASUREMENT—THE GAS QUESTION—ARRIVAL OF
THE PROPRIETOR.
The rehearsals of King Fyscher’s operetta for the private thea-
tricals at the Macaws’ (of Macaw) party afforded a very pleasant way
of spending the spare hours between four o’clock and dinner-time, and
also various evenings when there was no other engagement.
Nipper was, I recollect, the man whose time it was difficult to suit,
as he was out every night, and would only promise to “ look in ” after
one of his parties, on his road home ; which promise, being made con-
ditionally, was rarely kept. To the rehearsals in the afternoon he was
as punctual as a sentry at the Horse Guards, seeing that being engaged
in an office (as assistant-secretary’s assistant clerk, a very gentlemanly
appointment of some considerable value) he was very strict in observing
to a minute the hour when business finished. This was four o’clock,
and at half-past Nipper was at Mrs. Macaw’s.
The difficulty was to get every one to time. One day we were all
there but King Fyscher, who came, full of apologies, just five minutes
before everyone had to go away. Another lime it would be Alf Poodel
who thought we were going to rehearse the operetta and without the
farce (he only playing in the latter), and would in the evening (when
the operetta was rehearsed, and not the farce) overwhelm us all with
his sorrow for the “ inconvenience which he feared he really must have
caused,” &c., &c.
Tom Porcupine having been lugged in, on account of his knowing
something about, the stage and stage matters (he could, it was averred,
shake hands with three managers, calling them by their surnames,
without prefix, and had had one farce refused by five principal theatres,
and one produced somewhere at some time or other), was made much of
when he came, and pleaded most important business, in a literary way,
as an excuse for nonattendance generally.
“ If they want us to go and rehearse,” said Tom, crustily, “ why
don’t they ask us to dinner ? Rehearsal first, dinner afterwards.”
And this, being a good idea, was suggested to Mrs. Macaw, who not
having many invitations at present, had several evenings at her own
disposal.
“ Oh, Mr. Porcupine,” says she, one night, “ what shall we do
about the stage ? ”
“ Better hire one,” suggests Tom.
Nipper, who must be worth a fortune to theatrical costumiers and
perruquiers, immediately puts in, “ Go to Salmon—can’t do better
than Salmon.”
Alf Poodel objects. “ Go to Dace,” says he, mentioning another
eminent purveyor of costumes theatrical.
“ Not for a stage,” says Nipper, speaking as an authority. “ Dace
don’t put up stages.”
“ An, well,” returns Poodel, yielding this point; “ but I always go
to Dace for dresses.”
“ Not so good as Salmon ! ” cries Nipper.
“Oh, isn’t he?” replies Poodel, sarcastically.
There is a great difference of opinion on this important subject
between these two authorities, and well might Salmon and Dace
tremble in their slippers did they know how their respective merits
were being discussed by the two distinguished amateurs above-
mentioned.
On one common ground they meet, namely that Porpoise is to do
the wigs.
So Mrs. Macaw sends to Salmon (or “if Mr. Nipper would call
and tell him, she would be so much obliged ; ” and he does so, making
Mr. Salmon distinctly understand that he appears in his shop only as
an agent, and perfectly irresponsible), and of him orders a stage,
scenery, and some dresses; while a party, led by Poodel, prefer (also
as irresponsible agents) to procure theirs from Mr. Dace.
Mr. Salmon appoints a time to call at the house, measure the room,
and see what Mrs. Macaw exactly does want.
Mr. Salmon, a red-headed little gentleman, whose presence imme-
SHE “JESTS AT SCARS,” &c
Aunt. “And how’s Louisa, my dear? AVhere is she?”
Sarcastic Younger Sister [fancy free). “ Oh, Pretty Well, but she won't be on View these Two Hours. She’s writing to
her ‘Dear Fred’; at least I fancy I saw her come out of the Library with Topper’s Poems and a Dictionary III ”
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
BIRDS, BEASTS, AND FISHES.
CHAPTER THE TWELFTH.—THE REHEARSALS—DIFFICULTIES—OF MR.
SALMON—MR. DACE—MR. PORPOISE—MR. SALMON AND HIS MAN,
WOODPECKER—MEASUREMENT—THE GAS QUESTION—ARRIVAL OF
THE PROPRIETOR.
The rehearsals of King Fyscher’s operetta for the private thea-
tricals at the Macaws’ (of Macaw) party afforded a very pleasant way
of spending the spare hours between four o’clock and dinner-time, and
also various evenings when there was no other engagement.
Nipper was, I recollect, the man whose time it was difficult to suit,
as he was out every night, and would only promise to “ look in ” after
one of his parties, on his road home ; which promise, being made con-
ditionally, was rarely kept. To the rehearsals in the afternoon he was
as punctual as a sentry at the Horse Guards, seeing that being engaged
in an office (as assistant-secretary’s assistant clerk, a very gentlemanly
appointment of some considerable value) he was very strict in observing
to a minute the hour when business finished. This was four o’clock,
and at half-past Nipper was at Mrs. Macaw’s.
The difficulty was to get every one to time. One day we were all
there but King Fyscher, who came, full of apologies, just five minutes
before everyone had to go away. Another lime it would be Alf Poodel
who thought we were going to rehearse the operetta and without the
farce (he only playing in the latter), and would in the evening (when
the operetta was rehearsed, and not the farce) overwhelm us all with
his sorrow for the “ inconvenience which he feared he really must have
caused,” &c., &c.
Tom Porcupine having been lugged in, on account of his knowing
something about, the stage and stage matters (he could, it was averred,
shake hands with three managers, calling them by their surnames,
without prefix, and had had one farce refused by five principal theatres,
and one produced somewhere at some time or other), was made much of
when he came, and pleaded most important business, in a literary way,
as an excuse for nonattendance generally.
“ If they want us to go and rehearse,” said Tom, crustily, “ why
don’t they ask us to dinner ? Rehearsal first, dinner afterwards.”
And this, being a good idea, was suggested to Mrs. Macaw, who not
having many invitations at present, had several evenings at her own
disposal.
“ Oh, Mr. Porcupine,” says she, one night, “ what shall we do
about the stage ? ”
“ Better hire one,” suggests Tom.
Nipper, who must be worth a fortune to theatrical costumiers and
perruquiers, immediately puts in, “ Go to Salmon—can’t do better
than Salmon.”
Alf Poodel objects. “ Go to Dace,” says he, mentioning another
eminent purveyor of costumes theatrical.
“ Not for a stage,” says Nipper, speaking as an authority. “ Dace
don’t put up stages.”
“ An, well,” returns Poodel, yielding this point; “ but I always go
to Dace for dresses.”
“ Not so good as Salmon ! ” cries Nipper.
“Oh, isn’t he?” replies Poodel, sarcastically.
There is a great difference of opinion on this important subject
between these two authorities, and well might Salmon and Dace
tremble in their slippers did they know how their respective merits
were being discussed by the two distinguished amateurs above-
mentioned.
On one common ground they meet, namely that Porpoise is to do
the wigs.
So Mrs. Macaw sends to Salmon (or “if Mr. Nipper would call
and tell him, she would be so much obliged ; ” and he does so, making
Mr. Salmon distinctly understand that he appears in his shop only as
an agent, and perfectly irresponsible), and of him orders a stage,
scenery, and some dresses; while a party, led by Poodel, prefer (also
as irresponsible agents) to procure theirs from Mr. Dace.
Mr. Salmon appoints a time to call at the house, measure the room,
and see what Mrs. Macaw exactly does want.
Mr. Salmon, a red-headed little gentleman, whose presence imme-
SHE “JESTS AT SCARS,” &c
Aunt. “And how’s Louisa, my dear? AVhere is she?”
Sarcastic Younger Sister [fancy free). “ Oh, Pretty Well, but she won't be on View these Two Hours. She’s writing to
her ‘Dear Fred’; at least I fancy I saw her come out of the Library with Topper’s Poems and a Dictionary III ”