DOI issue:
April 10, 1869
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16883#0158
152
diately conveys the idea of a predominance of hair-oil in his toilette
(having apparently washed his hands and face in it by mistake), arrives
with his man (a sulky and silent person, very dirty, with a carpenter’s
rule in his pocket), and is at once shown up-stairs by the servant, who
] holds him at first iu no small awe, as having some mysterious connec-
tion with the “Theayter.” Mr. Salmon enters the drawing-room
I in an easy and affable style peculiar to himself, and, if neither Nipper,
Poodel, nor Porcupine are there, at once assumes the command,
and rules with the powerful confidence of one “who knows exactly
what you want, Ma’am.”
Strangely enough he seems to hit upon the scenes in King Fyscher’s
operetta, not to mention the dresses and characters, as if he ’d been
, familiar with them from his childhood upwards.
“ Pecker,” says he to his man, who shelters himself bashfully in the
shadow of his chief, and slouches out with a two-foot rule, “just
measure this here.” Then to Mrs. Macaw, in rather a thick, dusty
voice, “I know exactly what you want. Interior of ’ut, fust act: set.
An nin, second, with table, chairs, and ushull properties.”
“ Yes, quite so,” says Mrs. Macaw, vaguely.
“Twenty-five by thirty,” growls Pecker, pocketing his rule, and
retiring once more into the shade.
“Very good,” continues Salmon, as if he now saw it all at a glance.
“ ’Ut first; Inn second. You’ll wish us to find everythink ? ”
Mrs. Macaw replies rather faintly (being a little overcome by the
prevalence of the hair-oil), “Oh yes, if you please,” and rejoices to
think that further particularising is not expected of her.
Messrs. Salmon and Pecker are just taking their leave when enter
Nipper and Poodel, followed by Porcupine.
In a second Mr. Salmon descends (as it were) from his throne of
conscious superiority over Mrs. Macaw’s ignorance of theatricals, and
is ready to listen to what Mr. Nipper has to say.
Nipper is exacting. He knows all Salmon’s scenes, and insists (on
pain of losing his custom for ever) on Salmon not giving them that
old make-shift of an Inn which he sent to Mrs. Sandpiper’s the other
evening. Salmon promises; in fact will have “ a new scene, pran new,
fresh a purpose for this operetta ; and is there hanythink else F ” It
appears that there are several anythinks elses, and Mr. Salmon spends
his next hour under sharp examination from Nipper and Porcupine as
to the scenes, the dresses, and the lights.
“ We must have a front scene of a wood,” says Nipper.
[April 10, 1860.
“ We ’ll paint you one,” answers Mr. Salmon, readily.
“ And mind it works well, and that we have it for rehearsal,” insists
Nipper.
“ It shall be here,” replies Salmon, “ and the practicable winder
and doors, and the wings and borders, all complete.” As Mr. Salmon
makes this summary, he moves towards the door.
A fearful thought suddenly strikes Mrs. Macaw. “ Oh ! ” says she,
“ you won’t knock the walls about very much, will you ? ”
Mr. Salmon immediately professes an instinctive reverence for the
rights of property, and an intense regard for the preservation of walls,
folding-doors, and hanging-pictures. “ There shan’t be a nail any-
where,” says he, in a most conciliatory tone, “ except, perhaps, just a
tack or two where it won’t be seen, and is habsolutely necessary. Mr.
Nipper knows me.”
Nipper, not altogether displeased by this appeal, corroborates
Salmon’s statement; and Mrs. Macaw’s mind being set at rest on the
subject of the walls not being knocked about, is unwilling to see Mr.
Salmon detained any longer, when Ale Poodel (who doesn’t think
much of Salmon and his arrangements) suddenly exclaims,
“ Yes, that’s all very well for the scenes ; but how are you going to
light ’em F ”
“ Foot-lights,” says Tom Porcupine, as if nothing was easier.
“ Ah ! but where?” says Poodel, putting this as a poser.
“On the ground,” answers Nipper, “of course;” while Mr.
Salmon looks from one to the other.
“Let’s have them gas, then,” says Poodel; “and can’t we have
gas at the wings ? ”
Salmon rubs his chin thoughtfully. He is waiting to hear the
opinion of the lady of the house.
“Easily run a gutta percha tube,” says Porcupine, “alongthe floor
from some gaslight on the stairs, and you can have a row of ’em.”
“ Or take up a board, eh F ” suggests Nipper. “ You can easily do
that, Mr. Salmon F”
“ Oh, lor’, yes. Sir,” answers Mr. Salmon, looking at his man, who
scratches the back of his neck with his foot-rule, and nods assent in a
grumpy manner, as if letting in gas under boards or pulling down a
wall for the sake of a footlight, was merely child’s play to him.
“ Hey, what F ” exclaims Mr. Macaw, suddenly arriving on the
scene (from the City). “Gas and gutta perchaF HeyF What’s
this F ” {To be Continued.)
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PHRENOLOGY AND FUDGE.
wonderful psycho-
physiological disco-
very has been made
by an anonymous
philosopher. He
thus enunciates it
amongst a series of
objections to phre-
nology, advanced, in
an unfavourable re-
view of a work on
that subject, in the
Morning Post:—
“ Matter, active
and inert, cannot ar-
range itself; it is only
set in order by its co-
existent colleague,
spirit, endowed with
properties as multi-
farious as its own.
Varieties of these are
conveyed by different
agencies into the
human frame, to per-
form their vital func-
tions. Some of them
ascend by the vertebral tissues into the brain, and select the cells in which
they develop the perceptions of sense and the faculties of mind. The spheres
of their productive energy, expanding by action, raise the overlying portion-
of the cranium beneath which they work. This is the only rational view
■which can be taken of phrenology, and may serve to account for the cases by
which its advocates maintain that their opinions are confirmed.”
Let us try and construe so much of the foregoing extract as we need
in order to be enabled to see precisely bow profound is its meaning.
Yrarieties of properties of spirit are conveyed by different agencies
' into the human frame to perform their vital functions. Whose vital
functions F The vital functions of the different agencies, or the vital
functions of the varieties of properties of spirit themselves—their own
vital properties F Not the vital functions of the human frame; our
philosopher says “their,” not “its.” We have accordingly to form to
ourselves distinct ideas of the vital functions of an agency, and also of
the vital functions of a property, both, if we can ; if we cannot, then, if
possible, clearly to conceive the vital functions of either a property or
an agency. Having made sense of both, or either, we shall have little
difficulty in making further sense of the vital functions of different
agencies, and of the vital functions of varieties of properties, or else of
the vital functions of the former or the latter, as the case may be. We
may, however, consider, without much fear of being mistaken, that
these several vital functions are on the whole pretty much alike and
equally intelligible.
The next proposition which we have to master is, that varieties of
properties of spirit, conveyed by different agencies into the human
frame, ascend by the vertebral tissues into the brain. Of course the
author of this statement knows that the vertebral tissues are the com-
ponent parts of the vertebrae or bones which united constitute the
backbone or vertebral column, and he means to say that varieties of
the properties of spirit climb up into the brain by this ladder. (Do they
begin to climb at the os coccygis ?)
The divine Williams avers, by the mouth of Falstaff, of “ a good
sherris sack,” that it “ascends me into the brain; . . . makes it appre-
hensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery, and delectable shapes.”
Our antiphrenological reviewer’s varieties of spirit behave in some
measure like sack. They ascend me into the brain ; but then they do
me more than filling it with the shapes which Falstaff mentions. They
select the cells in which they develop the perceptions of sense and the
faculties of mind. What an astonishing selection is this, made by
varieties of properties of spirit! But that is not all. The spheres of
the productive energy of these varieties of properties of spirit expand
by action. We have only to picture to the mind’s eye this easily
imaginable process. The spheres are, of course, cerebral cavities, of a
spherical form, in which the varieties of properties of spirit exert their
productive energy, making the spheres expand. In expanding they
must necessarily raise the overlying portions of the cranium beneath
which they work; that is, of course he means, are worked by varieties
of properties of spirit. They could not expand without a corresponding
expansion of the cranium. If the cranium did not expand, the
expansive force of the varieties of properties of spirit would occasion
apoplexy.
It will be very mean and shabby of the College of Surgeons if that
learned body do not, in the interests of science, award a gold medal to
the anonymous discoverer of the cerebral spheres, which, expanded by
the action of varieties of properties of spirit, expand portions of the
cranium which those properties work under, thus suggesting the only
rational view that can be taken of phrenology. Is it necessary to say
that this sage has settled phrenology’s hash F
diately conveys the idea of a predominance of hair-oil in his toilette
(having apparently washed his hands and face in it by mistake), arrives
with his man (a sulky and silent person, very dirty, with a carpenter’s
rule in his pocket), and is at once shown up-stairs by the servant, who
] holds him at first iu no small awe, as having some mysterious connec-
tion with the “Theayter.” Mr. Salmon enters the drawing-room
I in an easy and affable style peculiar to himself, and, if neither Nipper,
Poodel, nor Porcupine are there, at once assumes the command,
and rules with the powerful confidence of one “who knows exactly
what you want, Ma’am.”
Strangely enough he seems to hit upon the scenes in King Fyscher’s
operetta, not to mention the dresses and characters, as if he ’d been
, familiar with them from his childhood upwards.
“ Pecker,” says he to his man, who shelters himself bashfully in the
shadow of his chief, and slouches out with a two-foot rule, “just
measure this here.” Then to Mrs. Macaw, in rather a thick, dusty
voice, “I know exactly what you want. Interior of ’ut, fust act: set.
An nin, second, with table, chairs, and ushull properties.”
“ Yes, quite so,” says Mrs. Macaw, vaguely.
“Twenty-five by thirty,” growls Pecker, pocketing his rule, and
retiring once more into the shade.
“Very good,” continues Salmon, as if he now saw it all at a glance.
“ ’Ut first; Inn second. You’ll wish us to find everythink ? ”
Mrs. Macaw replies rather faintly (being a little overcome by the
prevalence of the hair-oil), “Oh yes, if you please,” and rejoices to
think that further particularising is not expected of her.
Messrs. Salmon and Pecker are just taking their leave when enter
Nipper and Poodel, followed by Porcupine.
In a second Mr. Salmon descends (as it were) from his throne of
conscious superiority over Mrs. Macaw’s ignorance of theatricals, and
is ready to listen to what Mr. Nipper has to say.
Nipper is exacting. He knows all Salmon’s scenes, and insists (on
pain of losing his custom for ever) on Salmon not giving them that
old make-shift of an Inn which he sent to Mrs. Sandpiper’s the other
evening. Salmon promises; in fact will have “ a new scene, pran new,
fresh a purpose for this operetta ; and is there hanythink else F ” It
appears that there are several anythinks elses, and Mr. Salmon spends
his next hour under sharp examination from Nipper and Porcupine as
to the scenes, the dresses, and the lights.
“ We must have a front scene of a wood,” says Nipper.
[April 10, 1860.
“ We ’ll paint you one,” answers Mr. Salmon, readily.
“ And mind it works well, and that we have it for rehearsal,” insists
Nipper.
“ It shall be here,” replies Salmon, “ and the practicable winder
and doors, and the wings and borders, all complete.” As Mr. Salmon
makes this summary, he moves towards the door.
A fearful thought suddenly strikes Mrs. Macaw. “ Oh ! ” says she,
“ you won’t knock the walls about very much, will you ? ”
Mr. Salmon immediately professes an instinctive reverence for the
rights of property, and an intense regard for the preservation of walls,
folding-doors, and hanging-pictures. “ There shan’t be a nail any-
where,” says he, in a most conciliatory tone, “ except, perhaps, just a
tack or two where it won’t be seen, and is habsolutely necessary. Mr.
Nipper knows me.”
Nipper, not altogether displeased by this appeal, corroborates
Salmon’s statement; and Mrs. Macaw’s mind being set at rest on the
subject of the walls not being knocked about, is unwilling to see Mr.
Salmon detained any longer, when Ale Poodel (who doesn’t think
much of Salmon and his arrangements) suddenly exclaims,
“ Yes, that’s all very well for the scenes ; but how are you going to
light ’em F ”
“ Foot-lights,” says Tom Porcupine, as if nothing was easier.
“ Ah ! but where?” says Poodel, putting this as a poser.
“On the ground,” answers Nipper, “of course;” while Mr.
Salmon looks from one to the other.
“Let’s have them gas, then,” says Poodel; “and can’t we have
gas at the wings ? ”
Salmon rubs his chin thoughtfully. He is waiting to hear the
opinion of the lady of the house.
“Easily run a gutta percha tube,” says Porcupine, “alongthe floor
from some gaslight on the stairs, and you can have a row of ’em.”
“ Or take up a board, eh F ” suggests Nipper. “ You can easily do
that, Mr. Salmon F”
“ Oh, lor’, yes. Sir,” answers Mr. Salmon, looking at his man, who
scratches the back of his neck with his foot-rule, and nods assent in a
grumpy manner, as if letting in gas under boards or pulling down a
wall for the sake of a footlight, was merely child’s play to him.
“ Hey, what F ” exclaims Mr. Macaw, suddenly arriving on the
scene (from the City). “Gas and gutta perchaF HeyF What’s
this F ” {To be Continued.)
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PHRENOLOGY AND FUDGE.
wonderful psycho-
physiological disco-
very has been made
by an anonymous
philosopher. He
thus enunciates it
amongst a series of
objections to phre-
nology, advanced, in
an unfavourable re-
view of a work on
that subject, in the
Morning Post:—
“ Matter, active
and inert, cannot ar-
range itself; it is only
set in order by its co-
existent colleague,
spirit, endowed with
properties as multi-
farious as its own.
Varieties of these are
conveyed by different
agencies into the
human frame, to per-
form their vital func-
tions. Some of them
ascend by the vertebral tissues into the brain, and select the cells in which
they develop the perceptions of sense and the faculties of mind. The spheres
of their productive energy, expanding by action, raise the overlying portion-
of the cranium beneath which they work. This is the only rational view
■which can be taken of phrenology, and may serve to account for the cases by
which its advocates maintain that their opinions are confirmed.”
Let us try and construe so much of the foregoing extract as we need
in order to be enabled to see precisely bow profound is its meaning.
Yrarieties of properties of spirit are conveyed by different agencies
' into the human frame to perform their vital functions. Whose vital
functions F The vital functions of the different agencies, or the vital
functions of the varieties of properties of spirit themselves—their own
vital properties F Not the vital functions of the human frame; our
philosopher says “their,” not “its.” We have accordingly to form to
ourselves distinct ideas of the vital functions of an agency, and also of
the vital functions of a property, both, if we can ; if we cannot, then, if
possible, clearly to conceive the vital functions of either a property or
an agency. Having made sense of both, or either, we shall have little
difficulty in making further sense of the vital functions of different
agencies, and of the vital functions of varieties of properties, or else of
the vital functions of the former or the latter, as the case may be. We
may, however, consider, without much fear of being mistaken, that
these several vital functions are on the whole pretty much alike and
equally intelligible.
The next proposition which we have to master is, that varieties of
properties of spirit, conveyed by different agencies into the human
frame, ascend by the vertebral tissues into the brain. Of course the
author of this statement knows that the vertebral tissues are the com-
ponent parts of the vertebrae or bones which united constitute the
backbone or vertebral column, and he means to say that varieties of
the properties of spirit climb up into the brain by this ladder. (Do they
begin to climb at the os coccygis ?)
The divine Williams avers, by the mouth of Falstaff, of “ a good
sherris sack,” that it “ascends me into the brain; . . . makes it appre-
hensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery, and delectable shapes.”
Our antiphrenological reviewer’s varieties of spirit behave in some
measure like sack. They ascend me into the brain ; but then they do
me more than filling it with the shapes which Falstaff mentions. They
select the cells in which they develop the perceptions of sense and the
faculties of mind. What an astonishing selection is this, made by
varieties of properties of spirit! But that is not all. The spheres of
the productive energy of these varieties of properties of spirit expand
by action. We have only to picture to the mind’s eye this easily
imaginable process. The spheres are, of course, cerebral cavities, of a
spherical form, in which the varieties of properties of spirit exert their
productive energy, making the spheres expand. In expanding they
must necessarily raise the overlying portions of the cranium beneath
which they work; that is, of course he means, are worked by varieties
of properties of spirit. They could not expand without a corresponding
expansion of the cranium. If the cranium did not expand, the
expansive force of the varieties of properties of spirit would occasion
apoplexy.
It will be very mean and shabby of the College of Surgeons if that
learned body do not, in the interests of science, award a gold medal to
the anonymous discoverer of the cerebral spheres, which, expanded by
the action of varieties of properties of spirit, expand portions of the
cranium which those properties work under, thus suggesting the only
rational view that can be taken of phrenology. Is it necessary to say
that this sage has settled phrenology’s hash F