Punch (56.1869)

July 3, 1869 ]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

iii

u T WAS obliged to ask you to meet me, Mr. Punch,” said the Emperor, “ and this was about the only place where
I we could meet without fear of listeners. Deign to accept my apology for having asked you to pull out into
mid-channel in such weather.”

“ Don’t mention it, Majesty. I am the Old Salt of the Earth, and shan’t melt in the sea. I am at your
Majesty’s service, so far as that is consistent with my devotion to Balmoral.”

“ Would I ixyure your admirable balmorality, my dear friend ? You will confer a benefit on all Europe by
advising me at this crisis.”

“ I advise your Majesty to light up.”

“ I imitate you in this, and in much else, Mr. Punch. And now to business. ‘ No man of many words am
I,’ as our friend Du Maurier saith. You have noted and considered my Elections ? ”

“ Habeo, Sire; which is Latin for, I have.”

“ And what do you deduce.”

“ A Fact and a Lesson.”

“ The first ? ”

“ One half of France, and that half which contains the Brain, has unmistakeably pronounced against Personal
Government. You see, Sire, that some personalities cannot be tolerated by civilised society ? ”

“ You put things pleasantly,” grumbled the Emperor. “ But the fellows on my side don’t want cleverness.”

“ I should say that they did not, Sire. They must have a good stock in hand. For they never use any.
Even the work of managing your elections with reasonable decency very few of them have done. Half your victories
are moral defeats. But never mind that. You have out of the 290 men in the Chamber 213 of your own to 77 liberals,
42 real, 35 red. Are those the figures ? ”

“ Are you ever wrong ? ”

“ Never, Sire. I may take that slight credit. Well, your President can frown on the Opposition, and stop any
j 5nouth that is uttering disagreeable things, and a majority of 136, like a certain commination,

“ Answers every doubt so eloquently well.”

“ Ce cher Byron.”