Punch (59.1870)

170 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 22, 1870.

THE PORTRAIT.

Charwoman (who has been sitting to the young ladies). "0 deab, Miss Laura! why you've only Dkawed me with CLnte Eye! Miss

Rosa's give me my reg'lar Number I "

DANGEROUS DOCTRINE.

(" The Brotherhood of Christian Doctrine has been forbidden to teach." —
French Telegram.)

To teach forbidden, Brotherhood

Of Christian Doctrine ? It may be
Because you teach misunderstood

Doctrine of Christianity.
Men have taught that, before Joe Smith

Preached Mormon liberty to wive ;
Some heretics, together with

Saints who burned heretics alive.

What, now, perhaps, from standard faith

You fain would people lead away,
By teaching that the Volume saith,

In morals, what it seems to say.
Peace not for War, Love not for Hate,

Not Evil overcome with Good,
Tor Vengeance, Lowliness for State,

And Glory, not, 0 Brotherhood •

Perhaps " The just is scarce secure,"

By you explained, doth not imply
That all your soldiers are cocksure

Of bliss, in battle if they die.
Perhaps the simple you deceive

By saying to them, " Do not bend
Plain precepts, nor alone believe

That which you cannot comprehend."

Thus if you taught, and men did heed

Your teaching for this world unfit,
To silence you there might be need ;

But thev would mind it not a whit.

No fear they'd list to you, and learn
The golden rule, so called. Not they !

Deaf ears the Paithful still would turn—
You might be left to say your say,

A SERIOUS PUBLICATION.

A Publisher announces a new work, apparently serious, under a
remarkable title:—

" Granny's Chapters on Scriptural Subjects : Creation to the Death
of Moses."

Is the author of this volume a clergyman named Granny, then ?
No, indeed; only the preface to it is the composition of a reverend
Divine: the Book itself is advertised as written " by Lady Mary
lioss." We are to understand, therefore, that Granny means Grand-
mother. It is something new for a biblical commentator to come out
avowedly in the character of an old woman. We hope Lady Mary
Ross will be found to have so acquitted herself therein, especially by
her manner of dealing, for example, with astronomy and geology in
relation to a portion of her subject-matter, as to delight Convocation,
astonish Colenso, and make philosophers see that they must not
pretend to instruct their Grandmother in a method of eating eggs.

The Tongue-tied Postmen.

Are the Letter-carriers forbidden by the Post-office Regulations
from combining to express their gratitude.for considerate treatment at
the hands of Government? No deputation of postmen, that we know
of, has yet waited on the Marquis of Hartington to return thanks
through him officially to the truly liberal statesmen who (of course)
have raised their wages in due proportion to the additional work
imposed on them by the new regulations for the postal accommodation
of the Public at large.