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December 31, 1870.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
275
our christmas that might have been.
O you know Mr.
Punch, that at
length a sensible re-
mark has actually
been made in a pub-
lic speech on. the
War? Fact,Sir. W.
Arthur -Russell,
M.P., addressing
li is constituents at
Tavistock, delivered
that speech. It is
not given to every-
body to wipe Mk.
Mill's eye. But
surely the Member
for Tavistock did,
thus:—
" Mr. Gladstone
has been, biamed se-
verely by others for
not displaying more
energy before the war
broke out, and for not
threatening with war
the firat who broke
the peace of Europe.
But, Gentlemen, a
great Power like Eng-
land must not threaten unless she is in earnest, and the French are not a people
who yield to threats—that policy would not have been successful. The French,
in July, were far too much excited to care for our menaces, or to believe that
we meant what we said ; if, after that, to prove that we were in earnest we had
bombarded some of the peaceful commercial towns on the coast of France,
nobody would have been more shocked and horrified than those very men
who first recommended that policy."
To be sure, Sir, we might, bave said to the French and German
Governments, " We hold the first who strikes our foe," and then, when
France struck first, have, hp-Id still. Nor would "civilised Europe"
have scoffed at and tauri -
GENERAL CATECHISMS
{Intended for the Use of all Schools of every Variety of Creed).
Historical and Scientific Question. Where was the Hebraic Lawgiver
on the extinction of the Ozokerit of that period ?
\Opportunity for Advertisement—unintentional, but evident.
Answer deferred until either Dr. Smith, Bishop Colenso, or Pro-
fessor McIntosh throws some additional light on the Egyptian darkness
of this subject.
Q. Who is O'Zone ?
Ans. An Irishman.
Q. Who were the Kings of Cologne ?
Ans. Farina & Sons, none other genuine.
Question for Prizemen in Ecclesiastical History. Who was Arius ?
Ans. He was a Heretic, who played on a Dolphin's back.
Q. And—what were the Aryan Races ?
Ans. They were got up in the East, and were ridden on wild asses.
Not much money ever changed hands at these meetings.
Q. Was a Pal^eologtjs a bird or a Pope ?—Give your reasons for
your answer.
(Unanswered as yet.)
Q. Without descending to personality, state what you know of
RiiNZi, the last of the Barons ?
Ans. He was a friend of Lord Lytton's, in Rome. Nothing farther
has ever been heard of him.
Q. Who was Arnold of Brescia? At what time did he become
Head Master of Rugby f
(Answer deferred.)
The above questions will lighten the labours of the Educational
Bored and Educational Borers. Yours
One op the Former.
WILLIAM THE SERIOUS.
The writer of some verses made by Indignation and published in
the Pall Mall, abusing the Germans iu a strain of vigorous invective,
asks them:—
"What if he dealt the foremost blow,
Europ"e'would"have despis =. x w^^\tereditary' (°e! n ,
u„™ + -r.A __^; ' — _ VAlfA^ What if his rash, unchastened hand
like manner, would have = ^%($^ , To this demand the Germans might naturally enough, if not
-fo araminrr and— SYiV^S etically, reply :—•
— CM
Whether such certainty is attainable by means which must secure
e eternal hatred of France, is a question between the new Emperor
at is to be and his Chancellor. The pious King of Prussia, in the
eanwhile, is doubtless praying fervently for his enemies, whom at the
a me time he endeaTours to trample with all his might. He accom-
s.iou,a nave oeen ; ou» = o ■ ,nies his smcere prayers on their behalf with the utmost exertions to
man; says' =— CD ■ ■ -ing them to repentance.
1
= E
"What ? Why we '11 make it certain, then,
He ne'er shall do the like again.
PEOPl=_o) fl -o WAR AT THE PRICE OF PEACE.
— I <D ■
A Hairdresser who o I I Peace at any price which is not, in the end, dearer than the cost of
any cutting observation ^ ^ ■'Par. That should be the motto of every Briton, if all Britons were
A waiter at a City dii — oo w I qually taxed. It is the motto of every sane payer of Income-tax.
either Gog or Magog. = ^^^^^^^B I Very well, then. Had we not better pay the American Government
A linen-draper's sho zz. +2, I \\ the damages they demand in their Alabama Claims ? Quite the
what ^she wants, and w — glco I ontrary. For, instead of purchasing peace by such a payment, we
doesn't want. 0=1'* I nou^ more likely incur war. A government capable of declining our
A Shakespeare comn = w „ £ I ^er t0 SUDmit, those claims to arbitration is capable of any conduct
passages into thorough—- >~\<D I hat can result from intellectual sharpness and moral idiotcy. If we
An habitual criminal = ^ >•/ ■ ;vere to pay ^ ^he sum which it asks, we should pay it a great deal of
word because he sees t —— ^ ^■ I uoney. Money is the sinews of war. There would be nothing but the
A rail way guard or j. — I I fear of us to restrain the Government of Washington from picking a
door without violently =- Q | ■/quarrel with us on some fresh score, entrapping us into war with the
— w \. || United States, and employing the funds which we had supplied them
with in carrying it on.
The Pop = ^
OfaUtWE-5 q* mrs' e"
Whatw(= Mrs. Ramsbot ham, being very fond of music, told a friend that she
was going to hear Beethoven's " Missy Solomons" performed. It
— m ZZ £I turned out to be the Missa Solemnis.
Christmas Telegram from John Bull, Esq , to the American
— cvj "TT President :— Grant U.S. Peace.
275
our christmas that might have been.
O you know Mr.
Punch, that at
length a sensible re-
mark has actually
been made in a pub-
lic speech on. the
War? Fact,Sir. W.
Arthur -Russell,
M.P., addressing
li is constituents at
Tavistock, delivered
that speech. It is
not given to every-
body to wipe Mk.
Mill's eye. But
surely the Member
for Tavistock did,
thus:—
" Mr. Gladstone
has been, biamed se-
verely by others for
not displaying more
energy before the war
broke out, and for not
threatening with war
the firat who broke
the peace of Europe.
But, Gentlemen, a
great Power like Eng-
land must not threaten unless she is in earnest, and the French are not a people
who yield to threats—that policy would not have been successful. The French,
in July, were far too much excited to care for our menaces, or to believe that
we meant what we said ; if, after that, to prove that we were in earnest we had
bombarded some of the peaceful commercial towns on the coast of France,
nobody would have been more shocked and horrified than those very men
who first recommended that policy."
To be sure, Sir, we might, bave said to the French and German
Governments, " We hold the first who strikes our foe," and then, when
France struck first, have, hp-Id still. Nor would "civilised Europe"
have scoffed at and tauri -
GENERAL CATECHISMS
{Intended for the Use of all Schools of every Variety of Creed).
Historical and Scientific Question. Where was the Hebraic Lawgiver
on the extinction of the Ozokerit of that period ?
\Opportunity for Advertisement—unintentional, but evident.
Answer deferred until either Dr. Smith, Bishop Colenso, or Pro-
fessor McIntosh throws some additional light on the Egyptian darkness
of this subject.
Q. Who is O'Zone ?
Ans. An Irishman.
Q. Who were the Kings of Cologne ?
Ans. Farina & Sons, none other genuine.
Question for Prizemen in Ecclesiastical History. Who was Arius ?
Ans. He was a Heretic, who played on a Dolphin's back.
Q. And—what were the Aryan Races ?
Ans. They were got up in the East, and were ridden on wild asses.
Not much money ever changed hands at these meetings.
Q. Was a Pal^eologtjs a bird or a Pope ?—Give your reasons for
your answer.
(Unanswered as yet.)
Q. Without descending to personality, state what you know of
RiiNZi, the last of the Barons ?
Ans. He was a friend of Lord Lytton's, in Rome. Nothing farther
has ever been heard of him.
Q. Who was Arnold of Brescia? At what time did he become
Head Master of Rugby f
(Answer deferred.)
The above questions will lighten the labours of the Educational
Bored and Educational Borers. Yours
One op the Former.
WILLIAM THE SERIOUS.
The writer of some verses made by Indignation and published in
the Pall Mall, abusing the Germans iu a strain of vigorous invective,
asks them:—
"What if he dealt the foremost blow,
Europ"e'would"have despis =. x w^^\tereditary' (°e! n ,
u„™ + -r.A __^; ' — _ VAlfA^ What if his rash, unchastened hand
like manner, would have = ^%($^ , To this demand the Germans might naturally enough, if not
-fo araminrr and— SYiV^S etically, reply :—•
— CM
Whether such certainty is attainable by means which must secure
e eternal hatred of France, is a question between the new Emperor
at is to be and his Chancellor. The pious King of Prussia, in the
eanwhile, is doubtless praying fervently for his enemies, whom at the
a me time he endeaTours to trample with all his might. He accom-
s.iou,a nave oeen ; ou» = o ■ ,nies his smcere prayers on their behalf with the utmost exertions to
man; says' =— CD ■ ■ -ing them to repentance.
1
= E
"What ? Why we '11 make it certain, then,
He ne'er shall do the like again.
PEOPl=_o) fl -o WAR AT THE PRICE OF PEACE.
— I <D ■
A Hairdresser who o I I Peace at any price which is not, in the end, dearer than the cost of
any cutting observation ^ ^ ■'Par. That should be the motto of every Briton, if all Britons were
A waiter at a City dii — oo w I qually taxed. It is the motto of every sane payer of Income-tax.
either Gog or Magog. = ^^^^^^^B I Very well, then. Had we not better pay the American Government
A linen-draper's sho zz. +2, I \\ the damages they demand in their Alabama Claims ? Quite the
what ^she wants, and w — glco I ontrary. For, instead of purchasing peace by such a payment, we
doesn't want. 0=1'* I nou^ more likely incur war. A government capable of declining our
A Shakespeare comn = w „ £ I ^er t0 SUDmit, those claims to arbitration is capable of any conduct
passages into thorough—- >~\<D I hat can result from intellectual sharpness and moral idiotcy. If we
An habitual criminal = ^ >•/ ■ ;vere to pay ^ ^he sum which it asks, we should pay it a great deal of
word because he sees t —— ^ ^■ I uoney. Money is the sinews of war. There would be nothing but the
A rail way guard or j. — I I fear of us to restrain the Government of Washington from picking a
door without violently =- Q | ■/quarrel with us on some fresh score, entrapping us into war with the
— w \. || United States, and employing the funds which we had supplied them
with in carrying it on.
The Pop = ^
OfaUtWE-5 q* mrs' e"
Whatw(= Mrs. Ramsbot ham, being very fond of music, told a friend that she
was going to hear Beethoven's " Missy Solomons" performed. It
— m ZZ £I turned out to be the Missa Solemnis.
Christmas Telegram from John Bull, Esq , to the American
— cvj "TT President :— Grant U.S. Peace.