Punch (59.1870)

July 16, 1870.]

PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHAEIVARI.

21

DICTA FOR DANCING.

{Lectures on the Gay Science. By Tobaccolaurem Artium.)

he season is far advanced, and
ladies are bewailing; the pre-
sence of " Wallfio wers," who
are neither useful nor orna-
mental, but simply crowd
the staircases, the conser-
vatories, and the landings,
getting in everyone's way,
and by their inopportune
appearance, preventing the
blossoming of many a se-
rious flirtation, and nipping
in the bud theprojects of far-
sighted mammas, and the
hopes of eldest daughters.

With eyes moistened by
iced champagne cup, Mr.
Punch's Tobaccolaurens
Artium, having- given his
earnest consideration to the
case, has arrived at the con-
clusion, viz., that the Art of
Dancing is being neglected;
that there are several old
acquaintances which would
bear revival, and several
foreign dances which would
tend to promote hilarity and
good humour, and would
drag the aforesaid Wall-

Practised no trickery,
Drank all the chicory,
Long may she reign !

Which shows, if nothing else did, or would, how blameless and simple
were the followers of the goddess, and also the nature of their libations
in her honour.

But antiquarianism must not detain us ; though the substance of the
above will serve admirably for conversations between partners during
quadrilles, when such topics as the weather, the Park, and the Opera,
have been exhausted.

2. The Quadrille Reformed.

Let us have steps, not a languid and slouching walk. If, as has been
said above. Dancing is a language for the feelings, let us point our toes
as we would our remarks. Number one is Le Pantalon.

Simple Rules.—Set and turn to Partners; cross over by yourself ;
chassez right and left. Stop to see where you've got to. If the
quadrille has finished, return to your partner and apologise. If not, join
her, and express your sentiments in a lively (or otherwise) measure.

L'Fte.—first lady advances and retires; then retires and advances.
If your memory fails you during this quadrille, always return to your
partner, balancez, and insist on taking his hand and. going round with
him. Or (if a gentleman) with her. In dancing an unknown or un-
certain figure, the strong determined will comes off best.
Grand Rule for all Occasions.—When in doubt, balancez.
La Poule.—Cross over on the first opportunity, and get back again
on the first opportunity after that. Thank heaven for your safety so
far. Take hold of somebody and chassez : apologise, if wrong.
_ La Trenise.—Ladies' chain. Set to some one ; your partner, if pos-
sible. Advance twice, with or without partner. Change sides.
Glissade, chassez, and turn partners inwards. (This is usually called
the Colwdl-Hatchney Figure.)

La Pastorale and La Finale is chiefly advancing and retiring ad
libitum, and galopading about with your partner. Be always ready to
start galopading, and say, " Now then, come along !" A shout adds to
!, °J™™™m T^I T«ion»°ftn the real excitement. But better perhaps leave this until after supper.

N.B. Figures in themselves are of small importance to the true
dancer ; steps are everything. Genius invents figures as it goes on, and
steps too.

and repose. The Tobacco
laureus Artium proposes
(it is for Professors, according to University announcements, always
" to propose "—let the proverb be finished by whoever cares to do it)
to hold classes in his L.F.T. (Light Fantastic Toe) School, but for the
benefit of those who cannot at present, or will not just now attend, he
further proposes to publish a few hints (the mere sketches of his oral

teaching) for the Ball Boom, which he at once commences. Top couple advance, retire, and turn inwards

The Royal Wales Quadrille, or Prince's Fancy, as danced at all
the Court Balls.

1. On the Find and Aim of all Dancing.

Dancing is the Poetry of Motion. Considering how often a motion
is before the House of Commons, it is surprising what opportunities it
has lost, of converting the most prosaic, into the most poetical pro-
ceeding. If every Honourable Member danced when he had to
"move," what marvellous steps the House might take towards the
despatch of business!

" The Art of Dancing is one whereby the feelings are expressed!'—
How true this is everyone who has seen, or joined in, a waltz, must
immediately acknowledge. Rage, Jealousy, Love, Respect, all are to
be gathered, by the observer, from the manner in which the trois temps,
or deux temps, is performed.

One object in these hints will be an attempt to revivify the polka.
Wallflowers have forgotten this as well as other figures ; thinking, in
fact, very little of any figures except their own.

With the ancient Greeks and Romans, dancing was a part of their reli-
gious rites. So it is now in England; the high-priestesses are the Match-
making Mothers. Regardless of their doom, the little victims dance.

Dancing contributes to the preservation of health, and is apparent
from the absolute necessity entailed upon every Paterfamilias, with sons
and daughters, of rushing off to the seaside, or to some watering-place
on the Continent, where the young people appear with the glow of
health on their cheeks, the sparkle of life in their eyes, and exhibit a
strength of limb, which will overcome mountains. In these you behold
the votaries of the Dance, the most constant worshippers, the Fast
Partners, who have done three parties a-night since the commence-
ment of the season, and, Saturday evenings excepted, have never been
in bed for nearly three months, before five in the morning.

Dancing is conducive to the formation of manners, as we shall pro-
ceed to show, by giving a few rules for conduct in the ball-room.

Finally, great and illustrious men in all ages, have danced. Socrates
danced; Plato danced; Xenophon invariably danced while writing his
Anabasis.

Henri Quatre of France nobly said, in answer to one of his
bishops, that "he danced because he liked it; " a reply that appears at
the time to have given considerable satisfaction to his subjects. CjEsar
Augustus invented the ballet, and Nero is too vulgar an instance for
us to quote here. In old days, as the Poet sings, They—

Made for Terpsichore
Temples of hickory,

Pour ladies join right hands in centre, and
Swing gentlemen into places.
All chassez across, in the form of a star, and
Return to places.

3. Etiquette.

You may galopade with a lady all about the room without being in-
troduced to her, and you will not be thought guilty of presumption in
so doing. When you've finished with her, put her down somewhere.
You are not bound to ask her name and address, nor need you take
any further notice of her.

SPEED THE "DENOMINATIONAL SYSTEM."

Chorus of Ratepayers.

Forward, each Denomination,

In the cause of Education,

To the rescue from the State,

That you may indoctrinate

Your own poor with your own views,

Thus you '11 no adherents lose.

To this end there's but one way,

For your own schools 'tis to pay,

Do it with no sparing hand,

That they may o'ersoread the land,

Happy we if it befall

That you school, between you, all.

France in a Frenzy.

What if Prince Leopold of Hohenzollern-Sigmaringen, Catholic
Hohenzollern, were to become King of Spain ? As a constitutional
Sovereign, what power would he have, even had he the will, to help
the Protestant King oe Prussia to subjugate France P The French
have the reputation of being dainty. Their Emperor has a taste ; so,
doubtless, has Ollivier, so has the Due de Gramont; and they may
have cause to be offended with the great Teutonic sausage, but must be
over fastidious indeed to ol*ject so violently as they do to a mild
"Small German."