Punch (59.1870)

December 3, 1870.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

231

BENEVOLENT NEUTRALS.

First Newsboy. " Er' y' are, Sir. Se-cond 'Dition. Starvation in Paris ! "

[ Whistles popular air.

Second Ditto. " Gae oot wi' ye! Thir-rud Edition of The Northern
Light. Repulse o' the Prooshans ! "

Third Ditto (with a yell). "Yah! Here's the Latest Tiligbams. Gari-
ealdi baten all to smithereens ! vlct'ry o' the frincb, an' more kllt
an' Wounded than both o' ye put togither!"

THE PHILOSOPHER'S JOY.

With daily pleasure I peruse

The movements of the rich and great,
Conning the fashionable news,

Which to my betters doth relate.
A certain sense of mild delight,

As runs mine eye the column down,
The gentle names of tbem excite,

Arriving in, or leaving town.

Myself I fancy in the place

Of one of those, the Social Best,
And O, I think, were that my case,

How thoroughly should 1 be blest!
O heaven, to have, on income sure

A handsome Income-tax to pay,
A house above my head secure,

And three meals certain every day !

To be in decent garb arrayed,

And keep a hospitable board,
Yet, never feel a bit afraid,

'Twas more than Prudence would afford.
O rapture, to bestride a steed,

Or in a carriage to recline,
And think " This is my horse indeed—

Ha, ha ! this vehicle is mine! "

Now, by imagining all this,

I cease awhile with care to groan,
And do enjoy another's bliss

By making it appear my own.
It is a precious gift to be

Endowed with a benignant mind,
Which happy always renders me,

Happy when I behold my kind.

Bella, horrida Bella ! "

The Spanish Cortes indulged itself with a remarkable
row on the day Prince Amadeus was elected King.
The President Zorrilla broke two silver bells in his
efforts to ring down the rioters, and then sent for a huge
brass bell with which members are summoned to divisions.
Armed with this portentous weapon, he stunned the mal-
contents. Imagine the Speaker of the House of Commons
raging like an angry dustman and ringing wildly for order,
and then sending for Big Ben.

EVENINGS FROM HOME.

At the Vaudeville.—The character of Elizabeth—not the Princess
of Axe and Crown, but the " Good" Queen Bess as drawn by Frottde,
Lingard, andMiss Strickland—is a fair subject for burlesque. The
skittish Queen who drank old ale, called her courtiers nicknames,
boxed the ears of the Earl oe Essex, struck her waiting ladies, and
danced and flirted at the age of fifty, could find no representative of
her own sex on the stage, and falls, therefore, fitly into the hands of
Mr. Thorne. The Whiskerandos of Mr. James belongs, as it
did in Sheridan's Critic, only to burlesque, and he k immensely
funny. The Lord High Admiral, Sir Francis Brake, has a marvellous
make-up, and in this part Mr. Honey makes good use of his " pro-
found bass." The piece has been written partly in prose, partly in
rhyming couplets, and partly in blank verse, the author's intention
being to break through the arbitrary rule which had hitherto compelled
the writer of burlesque to fetter himself with jingling couplets. The
first attempt of this kind was made in the Frightful Heir at the Hay-
i market, and followed up by the Princess at the Olympic. By the way,
j actresses who undertake burlesque parts, would do well to take a
lesson from Miss Newton's performance of Sir Walter Raleigh; it is
| played by using her head, and not her legs only. The part-song,
" Down in the Valley" is admirably sung, and is deservedly encored.
It is a pity that English taste will not support opera bouffe; Elizabeth
would have offered an excellent opportunity for an Offenbacoian piece.
Perhaps, as the melodramatic ruffian observes, " A time will come"
—and exit.

Olympic.—The Old Curiosity Shop does not lend itself to dramatic
treatment. Little Nell and her Old Grandfather are, in the story,
perpetually living in a vale of tears, and the Child, lie Master Paul

Dombey, seems to have been killed because she was getting troublesome
as she grew up and got older.

Granting this, Little Nell is perhaps about as well dramatised as it,
could be, and is certainly in capital hands, that is, as regards the lead-
ing personages in the drama. Mr. Belmore's Old Grandfather is, we
venture to say, Dickens's conception to the life, and the same remark
applies to the Quilp of Mr. Clarke, than whom no one on the stage
could play it better. His Quilp is an awful little demon, a snarling,
wicked, cruel, ugly lump of deformity : add but a heavy supper after
the play, and if Quilp doesn't haunt your perturbed sleep then never
again trust the nightmare powers of a Lobster salad.

Miss Florence Terry has made her first appearance here iri the by
no means easy role of Little Nell. She is very promising.

Now for our before-the-Curtain Story of

NELL.

Attentive Person in Stalls. I've never read The Old Curiosity Shop.

Well-informed Friend. Ah ! you ought to have. Can't understand
the piece unless you've read the book.

Sensitive Lady [at the appearance of Quilp). 0! what a dreadful
creature.

Attentive Person {to Well-Lnformed Friend). Who's this ? {Alluding to
Fred Trent, who enters with Dick Swiveller).

Well-Lnformed Friend. That's (refers to the hill) Fred Trent.
Attentive Person. What does he do ?

Well-Lnformed Friend. Well, he—O, you ought to have read the book.

[They attend to the piece.

After Act LL.

Attentive Person. Why does Quilp follow Nell, and her Grandfather ?
; Well-Lnformed Person (bored). My dear fellow, if you'd only read the
I book-