Punch (59.1870)

October 15, Is70.]

PUNCH, OB THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

157

THE UNCO* GUID.

Scrupulous Waiter. "A what ? A Sangwitch ! Na, sa ! I'll gie ye
Breed am' Cheese, an' as much Whuskey as ye can Drink ; but, tae mak'
Sangwidges on the Saubberth Day ! "-

PARALLELS FROM A PULPIT.
{To a Titular Prelate.)

Victor-Emmanuel to compare

With Pontius Pilate washing hands,

Much in analogy you dare :
That is a bold one, as it stands.

As King to Procurator., so
Is Pope to—Whom ? O devotee !

Some length in parallels you go,
And figures by the Ptule of Three.

What shall repay unmeasured zeal,
And homage which no limit knows,

Which kneels, and with a will does kneel ?
Perhaps the Scarlet Hat and Hose.

They are not what they were of yore ;

Outrageous preachment hence may spring :
That Hat and Hose will be no more

The livery of a Priestly King.

Schooling for the City.

A Deputation the other day waited on the Lord
Mayor, to solicit his Lordship's assistance in making ar-
rangements for the promotion of "Technical Education"
in the City of London. Now the City of London is
peculiarly famed for the pursuit of good living in respect
of fare : but its banquets have the character of being rather
sumptuous and substantial than refined. The " Technical
Education " which philanthropists wish to promote in the
laud of Gog and Magog may be conjectured to mean
instruction in practical Gastronomy.

convenient memories.

" No Frenchman," says the Times' Correspondent, " will
allow that in the plebiscite he voted Oui." Alas, the ex-
Emperor must be reminded of the famous song,

" 0 where ai d 0 where is my little oui vote ? "

An Open Question.—On a Post Card.

THE PROPHETIC DOCTOR,

(Not Ctjmming but Manning.)

In a recently reported Sermon by Dr. Manning, instituting a com-
parison, not at all after the manner of Plutarch, between Victor-
Hmmanuel and Pontius Pilate, occurs the statement that :'—

" Fortj-five Pontiffs had either been driven out of Rome, or had never set
their feet in it.'

But nevertheless, quoth the Titular :—

" Despite all these disasters, the Church has ever been victorious, and
would be so again and again, and history told the-n that no one who had ever
laid hands upon her prospered."

No one? How about one Henry the Eighth, of England, and
said Henri's kingdom ? Or did Henry not prosper, nor his kingdom
neither, or did he not, indeed, when he dissolved the monasteries, lay
hands upon Dr. Manning's Church? Or shall we say that bluff
King Hal, and hitherto comparatively prosperous England, constitute
the except ion which proves a rule, the rule having been exemplified by
the fate of the ancient Roman Empire, the Byzantine Empire, the
Goths and Vandals, the Lombards, the Normans, the German Empire,
and Napoleon the First ; they all having warred against the Holy
See and the Sovereign Pontiff, and each having " been punished for
the sacrilege"? Are we to suppose that when Dr. Manning said
that, he spoke from acquaintance with the world's moral government,
or that he is bold enough to declare from the pulpit, as a truth, that
which he does not know to be true ? At any rate when he added, "and
so it. would be in this case," his prescience may be safely credited with
correspondence 10 his veracity.

An Italian journalist, some few years ago, drew up and published a
list of Personages and Powers, and Governments whom the Pope had
solemnly blessed, and of whom every one had subsequently come to
grief. These cases were cited as curious coincidences with reference

to the Italian superstition that his dear old Holiness is a gettatore, so
that his blessings have the effect of curses. Victor-Emmanuel,
though an Italian, is not superstitious, or he might now be in some
fear lest peradventure the Holy Father should bless him, as he blessed
the ex-KiNG of Naples, the ex-QuEEN op Spain, and other dethroned
sovereigns. There they are after their blessing, whether in consequence
of it or not, dethroned. If the King op Italy regarded omens, he
could have reason to say to the Pope, " Don't bless me, Holy Father,
whatever you do!" But how much or little soever the Pope's ana-
thema, on the one hand, or his benediction on the other, may be worth,
thus much must certainly be conceded to Dr. Manning. Whosoever
shall lay bands, though with the lightest touch, upon the Holy See, in
the least particular of its temporalities even, will inevitably incur the
doom which awaits everybody who pricks his little finger; as one
schoolboy tells another, he will be sure to die after it.

Puzzle for Painstakers.

A new Book, named The Mystery of Pain,
Treats of a subject reason can't, explain;
But, though the mystery remain in doubt,
The fact is but too certainly made out.
A stomach-ache 'tis pain enough to rue :
Rack not your brains and get a headache too.

Utterances.

(I3Y OUR OWN SPEAKER.)

Parliamentary Question and Answer.—When a question is put
in the course of debate, you may ever afterwards take it as Hav^ard.

*

Why is lighting a cigar a second time much the same aa declining
to accept one from a friend ?—Because you re-fuse it.