Punch (59.1870)

November 19, 1870.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

209

MORE POSTAL DODGES.

The Bishop of Gloucester uses Postal Cards for his
addresses to his Clergy, and writes in Latin. Quite
the cheese, Your Grace, Double Gloucester. But wouldn't
Greek do better ? Viz :—

Afap To/llhI, hivvfp 'ar 6rj kAu/8. Ao vbr reAA' Brj MltTffvs.
Aap| rb vire. Tpear tpyv.

Should this meet the feminine eye it will be puzzled.
Thanks to Your Grace for the suggestion.

TeAA 2u(7ai' v ope op<j> rb a ^iGalovapi fxeeTiv' av3 &ri Ipe
(pbp 2u7r7r?p ■KvVKrvuX. 'AAA's (p?up 'iv Aove &vS ovap.

ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.

(The Questions may be had, price Five Guineas each, on
application at the " Punch" Office.)

1. Because he is a pestle-lent fellow.

2. Because it is a cat-erect.

3. Because he knows the valley of Sham-money.

4. Because they have a proper esprit de caw.

5. The one is a beery 'un and the other is an alien.

6. Because he's mokes in it.

7. Because there is a ham-at-your performance there.

8. Because its 'oney (sunny).

" We Likes to be Despised."

Our martial neighbours on the Continent call us a
nation of shopkeepers. So indeed we are, and as such feel
ourselves to be very ignoble—in their eyes. We are as
much ashamed as we ought to be that we cannot subsist,
in our present magnitude as a people, but by the pursuit
of commerce. Shopkeeping is our vocation; it is not a
lofty one : but do our martial and predatory neighbours not
think it rather more respectable than shoplifting?

STANDING ON HIS DIGNITY.

Shipping Agent. "Abb totj a Mechanic ?"

Intending Emigrant (justly indignant). "No/—I'm a Macpheeson!" 1 about Consols, but about—Cattle.

look before you buy.

" Uinh to Stockowners " is another instance of a book with
a misleading title, for it does not give a fund of information

LADY-LATIN.

The Ladies bewinge Mr. Punnh with supplications for bis inter-
ference with the Postmastep.-General about the Parcel Post. The
new rule seems to have inflicted great annoyance upon those whom
Lord Harttngton would be very sorry to disoblige. But no repre-
sentation that has been sent to Mr. Punch equals in eloquence one that
has been made by a Norfolk lady through the columns of our friend
the Standard. She says :—

" I doubt if a single individual could be found in Her Majesty's realms
■who would not express thanks and delight over and over again at once more
seeing restored to us the formeT parcel postage rate, which was really in many
instances almost the. very vade mecwm cf one's existence."

If the Marquis can withstand this classical appeal, he is not the LINES FOR A LADY'S ALBUM,
cultivated nobleman we take him to be. (Xo be inscribed on the Occasion of her asking me to Dinner, and feeding
_ me with Turtle Soup.)

, The poets say that Cupid's blind,

" Que Diable allait-il faire dans cette Galere P" And hath a pair of wings behind:

Ah ! if thy charms he could but see,

IN NUBIBUS.

The Colonies have distanced the Mother-Country. _ Canada is doing
what England has at present only joked about doing. We say this
because it is recorded in the Money Article of the Times—the last place
in all literature where such a profanity as a jest would be tolerated—
that "the Great Western Railway of Canada have announced an issue
of £750,000 sterling bonds, for the construction of the Glencoe line of
146 miles (the' Canada Air Line Railway'), having twenty years to
run," &c. This is a project which only wants airing to succeed, and
we hope no cloud of suspicion will ever rest upon it.

Eor piteousness upon a parity,

Two ancient warriors pain my soul—

Old Belisarids sunk to charity,
Old Garibaldi driven to Dole.

How quickly he would fly to thee !

otjr unreserved correspondents.

The papers, of late, have been abounding with long letters about
our Army and Reserve. The writers ot these communications candidly
inform foreigners that we have a very small Army, without any Reserve
at all.

The Lord Lieutenant of the Future.—The newspapers tell us
that the Marquis oe Lorne has a connection with Ireland through
one of the beautiful Gunnings of the last century. Better so, than
through one of the ugly Shootings of the present.

If Liebig = Big-lie.

"Liebig's Extract," we see, is one of the articles most abundantly
supplied to our ambulances at the seat of war. We should have
thought that, what with the journalists and Gambetta, the French
had a superabundance of that article.

Gallant Thought.—We grieve to hear that our dear Princess
Louise has sprained her knee. If the Makquis of Lorne had
sprained his, one could understand it.

The Black Country.—Colorado.