Punch (63.1872)

22 PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [July 13, 187

THE GAME OF GHOST.

We live in an age of tom-
foolery. Modern necro-
mancy is comic. The
Medium is on that ac-
count worth reading.
At some of the seances
related in it occur phe-
nomena, if the experi-
ences so called are

skull and the horse's hoof were once regarded as
especial objects of diablerie, in days before the " North-
ern Phantom" (so called with great injustice to Orientals)
had vanished. The limbs which moved the above-
mentioned table would then have been thought some of
his, and not without reason, if, with respect to the
alleged performer of its tricks, reason could credit what
has preceded and what follows :—

" This spirit calls himself ' Jack Todd,' and says lie was
known to fame as a highwayman about a hundred years ago,
and suffered a violent death at the hands of justice, fie says he
objective, very much was remarkable for his courage and resolution, and robbed the
like boisterous frolic in mail, single-handed, several times. He does not seem to have
a pantomime, only that' Deen a murderer, or wantonly cruel, but one of those daring
the "properties" flung examples who love to inflict reprisals upon the rich and well-
about are household i to~do. Though he exhibits great violence at the circle, yet he
goods of a value which I ^oes notQing of a hurtful or malignant nature, and will no
rnnst rpnder that nrae ! doubt ultimately improve very much, and be of great use in
must, renuer uiai prac- vindicating the reauty of these manifestations."
tical fun now and then 6 J

rather serious for their There might be supposed to be room for improvement
owners. According to I in the spirit professing itself to be "Jack Todd—alias
a report given by our | Sheppard F " but it would be more charitable than ortho-
dox to hope that any was possible.

supernatural contempo-
rary of some proceedings
at a spirit - circle as-
sembled at Liverpool, a

table repeatedly rose and fell, remaining, in the meanwhile, some time suspended :

in the air • and_ Here, at Midsummer, are coals at from twenty-

,,£,,,/,. , • , „. . -. ,r u . , eight to thirty shillings a ton! Is it not time for us to

Shortly afterwards, a special controlling spirit attending Mr. Fegan, manifested , consider how much longer we can continue to light the
himself. A heavy sofa-cushion was thrown violently on the table. We held it in our ! ]d i& supply the world's steam-engines with
hands, and it was whisked away with great precision and force. Immediately afterwards, ; / , 5 A xc j j is a

the heavy swab of the sofa standing near was hurled on to the table, folded in the middle! l^h and at the 8?m? tlme dome8^ „tresi ?

at the same time smashing the glasses of the gas pendant, and turning the tap, so as to ! M- IniERS proposes to denounce the Commercial ireaty
cause an alarming escape of gas. This caused the circle to be broken up, but not without j England. Might not we as well begin to think of
witnessing the great strength manifested by the spirit. Indeed, the sofa was about to
be placed on the table, but it was jammed into a corner, so that it could not readily
be done."

Consumption of Vitals.

If there existed disembodied Houyhnhnms, and one believed in communi-
cating ghosts generally, and the foregoing description of their doings in par-
ticular, one would say that those doings, though droll, partook rather too much
of the nature of spiritual horseplay. You know, by the way, that the horse's

.-----0-------0--_ _ _

denouncing the exportation of coals ?

beggars of bethnal green".

Beggar (loq.).—'Arf the money as 'as bin spent on hall
that 'ere Science and Hart 'ud 'a made hall us Beggars
our wives and children lushy.

J

A BAGGED SCHOOL EOR MUSIC WANTED.

Melodious Mr. Punch,

Last week there was a Music Meeting at the Crystal Palace,
and I am told it was attended by a great number of visitors, and a
great deal of success. I did not go myself, for the fact is, I have no
more ear for music than an oyster, and may add, to show my taste,
that the sounds I chiefly relish are those produced by codfish.

The fact is, also, that I hear far too much music as it is, and
without taking the trouble to go all the way to Sydenham for it. In
the Quiet Street where I have the ill-fortune to reside, there are
music meeting's daily, from shaving lime till supper. I hear that at
the Crystal Palace vocalists and bands met to comx>ete with one
another, and prizes to the value of fifteen hundred pounds or so
were publicly awarded, and royally presented.

At the music meetings held in the Quiet Street I speak of, the like
kind of competition is daily carried on, though certainly the prizes
are by no means so remunerative. Ballad bawlers, organ-grinders,
German bands, blind fiddlers, Scotch bagpipes, Welsh harpers,
Italian pifferari, and black-faced nigger bellowers, sing and bawl,
and blow and growl, and grunt and groan, and twang and scrape,
and squeak and scream, and squeal and shriek and screech, all one
against another, from morning until midnight; and though pence,
instead of pounds, are as much as they can pocket, the competition
is sustained with monstrous energy and vigour. The competitors
seem generally impressed with the idea that the more noise they can
make, the more money they will win : and as they often play some
half a dozen tunes at the same time, their mingled melodies produce
most unmelodious discord.

As the police appear quite powerless to prevent these music
meetings, it may be worth while to consider how they may be made
less noxious. Surely something might be done to improve in some
degree the skill of street performers, and render them more musical,
and thereby less offensive. If a Patti or a Nilsson were heard
singing in the street, few people, I presume, would object to the
performance ; or if a Joachim began to fiddle a sonata just opposite
your door, you hardly could refrain from throwing him a copper.
We have an Academy of Music, I believe, intended for the training
of future prime donne; and why should we not also have a Bagged
School of Music, to give some slight instruction to future street mu-
sicians ? As a step in this direction, I would suggest that, at the
next Crystal Palace competition, prizes should be offered for street
singers, fiddlers, fluters, lifers, drummers, harpers, grinders, buglers,

bagpipers, " bones"es, banjoists, and hurdy-gurdy players, and the
like, with a view to their advancement in the musical profession,
and thereby their prevention from the exercise of music as an art of
street offence.

I can hardly hope myself to live to see the day when Joachims
and Paths will be prevalent on our pavements ; but anything that
helps to make street music less tormenting than it is will confer
enormous benefit upon countless fellow sufferers, in common with
your tortured correspondent, Miserrimus.

BEAUTY AND THE BUTCHER.

The Women of the North are holding meetings of their own to
agitate for cheap food. According to the Manchester Guardian :—

"At Sleekburn and Bedlington the Chairwoman recommended a strike
against the Butchers, and she lamented that 'avast of people' would still
buy butchers' meat. The meeting is reported to have shrieked in chorus,
' We '11 watch 'em ;' ' We '11 tar 'em ; ' and to have shown in other ways that
they have not been unobservant of the practices adopted by the rougher sex
(so called) when trade interests are in dispute."

Instead of watching and tarring people who still buy butchers'
meat, the ladies above referred to should coax as many as they can
to consume Australian in its stead. If people would abjure beef
and mutton at one shilling per pound including bone, and addict
themselves to those meats at sevenpence per pound without bone,
they would soon bring the butchers down on their marrowbones.

A Little Kingdom.

The Isle of Man preserves an autonomy of its own. It has a
distinct budget; that for the present year having just been pub-
lished by the Lieutenant-Governor. The statistics of crime in
that Island exhibit no peculiarity; for it was the remark of a mere
buffoon that the Isle of Man is the Paradise of Garotters, because tke
Manx cats have no tails.

a poor return.

A Loan Exhibition of Porcelain is now open at Salisbury. What
must be the feelings of those who have lent their precious treasures,
when they read the startling: announcement that the Collection will
be "broken up " in September ?