Punch (63.1872)

208 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 16, 1872.

"PITY THE POOR TEACHER."

Teacher. "And what are the Four Quarters of the World?"

First Pupil. " Please, Teacher, Air, Earth, Fire, and Water."

Second Pupil (eagerly). "No, Teacher,—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John."

THE HYDE PARK PILLAR.

There is a Stone, Rosetta hight;

There's Cleopatra's Needle ;
A Stone yclept the Moahite :

A Stone we '11 name the Beadle ;
By one this last set up to mark

The bounds for stump-oration,
When mobs assemble in Hyde Park

To make a " demonstration."

The menace which that Stone surmounts

Has been by Patriots slighted.
With Fenian Roughs it nothing counts ;

And Atrton's hopes are blighted.
And so, since it has failed to scare

Democracy ungentle,
That Stone's as little useful there

As it is ornamental.

Remove it then, that laughing-stock

In eyes of all who scan it.
Cart o'er the way that Beadle's block

Of brutum fulmen granite.
It is an object, though of fun,

Historical; there stow it,
And, housed among South Kensington

Museum's treasures, show it.

moral for millionnaires.

Boundless benevolence necessitates boundless avarice. To do no
end of good you must get no end of money. It requires very much
indeed to make one's self as happy as one could wish, but to render
others so too, an infinity.

MEMS. FOR "MY LORDS."

One gun that will pierce, mind, is worth any number
t Which will not, and an iron-clad vessel encumber.
Too small to be hit, with one gun, one gunboat
May be more than a match for the best ship afloat.
The smaller the boat, and the bigger the gun,
The more damage she '11 do, and the less risk she '11 run.
In one little boat, hands, themselves very few,
Might send to the bottom a big ship's whole crew.
The lightest of boats, you must see, if you think,
Outweighs any, the heaviest, ship she can sink.

Legal News.

This advertisement appeared in a contemporary last week :

WIG.—Gentleman, having Cast-Off Wig, will be glad to give it to
a deserving person needing one, who can be well recommended. Address
No. * * * * Office.

Acopyof this was thoughtfully enclosed to the Attorney-General,
who wrote a most graceful note to Lord Penzance, declining the
article proffered by his Lordship. It has not, however, gone long a
begging. ^_

Refreshing Slumber.

We put it to Archdeacon Denison himself whether he would not
look upon it as a venial offence if a conscientious, right-minded man,
after reading steadily through the Thirty-Nine Articles, were to take
Forty Winks.

chronology.

June 18.—Victory of Waterloo.
November 9.—Triumph of Waterlow.