Punch (64.1873)

January 18, 1873.]

PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

29

THROWING THE HANDKERCHIEF

Bob (in the Course of Conversation). " ' "Woman's Mission !' Pooh ! Woman s
Mission is to be Beautiful. If ever / meet a "Woman with Lots of Tin,
who's faultlessly Beautiful, I .shall Marry her straight off. '

His Admiring Friend. " I suppose you'll just Ask her first, won't you,
Bob !"

HIGH LIFE BELOW STAIRS.

What are called our Upper Classes should, we think,
include our upper servants, for clearly they are getting
more and more the upper hand of us. As a step in this
direction, please to look at this advertisement:—

COOK (Good Plain) in a quiet Family—a Tradesman's
not objected to.

This plain Cook is certainly plain spoken, but she
might be more explicit. For instance, does she look
upon a Barber as a tradesman, or would she " not
object" to cook a dinner for a Chimney-sweep? The
perambulant purveyor of feline provision may call him-
self a tradesman, for aught that we can tell, and so too
may a merchant who traffics in discarded habiliments
and venerable hats. Haply one of these fine days (if we
are ever to have fine days), we may find a Cook an-
nouncing that she will "not object" to take her wages
from a Doctor, or else adding, as a postscript, that " No
Mistress without a Title need apply."

A Hint.

'Improved from Shakspeare.)

When that I was a little tiny boy,"

And used bad words because of rain,
My parents, with reverse of joy,

Reversed me, and—I shared their pain.
But now I've come to man's estate,

And curse kind rains in language rash,
There's no one who can smite my pate

For talking thankless, idiot trash.

Oil or Water ?

" Herr Kaulbach is preparing-, Bays the Augsburger Allge-
meine Zeitung, for the Vienna Exhibition, a large Cartoon of the
Deluge." — AthtncBum.

If the weather abroad has been like the weather at,
home, the great German Painter has certainly hit upon
a most seasonable subject.

question and answer in new geography.

Q. Where are the Sandwich Islands?
A. Near to the Knife-and-Falkland Isles.

BENTLEYS ATVD PORSONS.

Mr, Punch has much pleasure in laying before his readers some
conjectural emendations, by critics whose sagacity bespeaks itself,
of certain passages in a sweet little poem, the composition of an
anonymous bard, adapted to the youngest capacity, and designed to
awaken the affectionate playfulness of very early childhood. These
splendid exercises of the critical faculty are contained in the follow-
ing letters, addressed

To the Editor of Punch.

Sir,—Allow me to venture on the suggestion of what I take to be
the correct reading of two lines in a well-known and favourite
nursery rhyme, which, as contained in the common editions of books
of such poetry, stand thus :—

Daney baby diddy.
What shall I do widdy ?

These verses, though not absolutely unintelligible, are seriously
vitiated by a proportion of absolute nonsense which cannot be re-
garded as wholesome nutriment for the tender mental faculties of
infancy. " Dancy " is a corruption of a word which has an obvious
meaning, and by some minds a signification may be attached to
" widdy ; " but " diddy " can hardly convey a definite meaning to
any ordinary intellect. I propose that the lines above cited should
be read as follows :—

Dansez, baby, Biddy.
What shall I do wid 'ee ?

The supposition that the rhymes whence the foregoing couplet is
quoted were originally composed in broken English by a French
bonne, and subsequently varied by an Irish nursemaid, is quite a
sufficient warrant for their restoration as above, confidently proposed
by your constant reader, Dunstan.

Sir,—I cannot for a moment entertain a conjecture which, under
pretence of amending a good old English nursery rhyme, would give
it a semi-foreign origin. To my mind there is no question that the
verses which a dunce has proposed to mar with outlandish corrup-
tions were originally these : —

Dance, a baby, did he ?
'What shall I do, Kiddy ?

" Kid" is a synonym for infant or baby notoriously much in use
among the humbler classes, whence we all know that nurses are
generally selected. " Kiddy " is its appropriate diminutive.

I am, Sir, &c, Edwardulus.

Sir,—I cannot bring my mind to adopt any of the proposed new
readings of " Dancy Baby." On my own mind there is no doubt
whatever that the first two lines of that celebrated poem, correctly
rendered would be :—

Dance, my baby, did 'oo ?
What shall Ma do widow ?

In this variation from the received text maternal prattle, you will
observe, is beautifully blended with conjugal solicitude.

Respectfully yours, Anser.

Jocose Drama.

Scene— Street, anywhere. Time—Christmas time.

Enter Buggins meeting Smuggins. Buggins utters a very old joke.
Smuggins takes off his hat, reverentially.

Buggins. Why do you do that ?

Smuggins. Because, when I meet an old joke I always treat him
as an old friend, and salute him respectfully.

Buggins. Do you ? I don't. As you see, when I come across an
old joke, I cut it. [Exeunt separately.