Punch (64.1873)

June 28, 1873.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

263

11

ONE FOR HIS NOB

Yankee Passenger. " Why on Airth do you put Blinkers on the Horses

in this benighted old country 1 We'VE long given *EM up in america,
I reckon ' "

British'Bus-Driver. ""Well, I II Tell yer wot it is. If them 'ere

'OSSES was ONLY just to catch a SlGHT OF you a SlTTIN' be'lND 'em, they'd

be that Frightened they d just Smash the 'ole blessed 'Bus all to
Pieces ! '

MORAL SONG ON MONEY.

Money is not happiness ;

Wealth may co-exist with gout;
Buys the physic, ne'ertheless,

Which you can't be cured without.

Money is not mutton ; no,
Money is not beer or wine ;

But to lack it is to owe
Grievous bills, or not to dine.

Money occupies the purse ;

Happiness is in the mind.
Else its state is the reverse ;

Woe with indigence combined.

Happiness you purchase through
Money that you wisely spend.

Money is the means unto
Happiness, and that's the end.

Who can keep a conscience clear,
Who can have a mind at rest,

That of ruin lives with fear
Ever gnawing at his breast ?

Others' happiness your own

Would you render if you could P

'Tis by money's aid alone

You can do your Sx^ecies good.

Happiness he may, below.

Find, with money who abounds ;

None else can until they go

To the Happy Hunting-grounds.

Money when a man decries,
Ten to one his bond is due,

And that presently he tries
Out of cash to swindle you.

Beally Thoughtful.

The arrangement for throwing the full glare of the
electric light from St. Stephen's on to the Shah's bedroom
windows at Buckingham Palace, was admirable. How
soothing when he came in, tired, from the Ball, and
wanted to go to sleep! Why did not Lobd Sydney
insist on fireworks all night in the Shah's bedroom,
crackers in the cupboard, Roman candles on the toilet-
table, and catherine-wheels as castors to his arm-chairs ?

COMMANDING FiGTJRft.

expression equivalent to anathema. Ad audiendum verbum may only
mean " to receive a wigging; " but that is the least that the offend-
ing Archbishop can look for. He will learn what the Pope thinks
of countenancing the obsequies of an excommunicated Statesman.
Let us admire the thoroughness and consistency of the Pope in
having let him know so much as he has already ; and this we can do
all the more serenely for that His Holiness is able to pronounce only

A good man struggling with the storms of fate is, we all know, a
very admirable sight, and also a most agreeable one to those who
are themselves in tranquil circumstances. Such a man, so holding
his own. we admire, although his own may be contrary to ours.
The good old Pope is such a man, and holds his own so ; his own

claims that is to say: fortunately not the powers he lays claim to. spiritual censures, and has no power any longer to enforce them by
He has the courage of his opinions; and vou may esteem that, ! the secular arm. But in fulminating words though mere words,
although you deny them. According to a "Roman telegram, in a i boldly in the face ..t Europe and the World he stands m a far
speech addressed the other day to the Cardinals, His Holiness ex- gander position than that of Ajax merely defying the lightning,
pressed himself as much grieved to hear that Signor Rattazzi had I ?e commands the same respect as that which one accords to his pre-
received Christian burial. His perfectlv consistent grief was occa- ! accessor, Benedict the Thirteenth, who whether he was lawful
sioned by the fact that Signor Rattazzi was a person " who died ! p°pe or *">. believed himself to be, and, having been deposed by
without the consolation of religion, in obedience to the wishes of his I a Council which he did not recognise used to excommunicate
friends." The Holy Father added : — everybody regularly twice a day. Perhaps Pius the Ninth will

! finally do likewise.

" Signor Eattazzi always fought, against the peace of Italy and the Holy _

See; still the judgment of (iod is unknown to us, nor must we seek to guess
it. But I experienced a very painful impression on learning from the news-
papers that the clergy of Alessandria were present at the funeral obsequies.
Those priests showed themselves greater courtiers than ministers of God. I
hope, however, that the news given by the papers is false."

A subsequent telegram says that the Italie mentions a rumour
that Mgr. Salvai, Archbishop of Alessandria, where Signor Rat-
tazzi was buried, has been summoned to Rome by the Vatican, " ad
verbum audiendum." Very likely. He may expect that he will
hear a word, and to what effect we can conjecture, though unable to
tell what precise word it will be. The verbum, whether verb or
noun, substantive or adjective, will no doubt be a part of speech
such as may be called strong language, if it be not anathema itself,
as a menace if not a judgment; or perhaps some more colloquial

What's in a Name ?

Mr. Fitzgerald, R.A.—no, we mean Mr. R. A. Fitzgerald,
which is an autre pair of chose—has written an entertaining account
of the doings of the twelve English Cricketing Champions^ in
America. The title of the book is deceptive to the Cockney mind,
being called, alliteratively Wickets in the West. It is not for a
moment to be supposed that the Secretary of Lord's ever played
cricket in his " West," but he must not be surprised, if, at Kenning-
ton Oval, he should hear Bill Somebody, the eminent professional,
criticise the name thus—" Vickets in the Vest! Well. I'd ha' as
soon thought o' Cricket in a Coat ! " There is something, you see.
in a name.