Punch (64.1873)

114

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[March 15, 1873.

"HUNTING APPOINTMENTS."

Scientific Colonel. "Are you going to the ' Kriegspiel' to-morrow?"

Cavalry Sub. (Hunting Man). " At/GH ! 'Think not, Sir. Augu ! 'Meet the-ARK, do they? Nevar heard of the Place I
Whekwe on Earth is i—t?" ! !

A PERCY TO THE RESCUE !

Rejoice we. Let Surbiton shout to all Britain.

The Thames bank is saved, and fair Hampton Court's view.
Sin?, Kingston and Ditton, the Philistines smitten—

That is, one particular Philistine crew.

But lo, whilst their sordid devices are broken,
Their fellows have triumphed in England's chief Town ;

The doom of one more noble monument's spoken :
Northumberland House is condemned to come down !

To .make a short cut for the vans, cabs, and 'busses,
Instead of a bend which would answer all need,

The Philistine Board, those iconoclast Cusses,
Are going to do this deplorable deed.

Admiring, reposes the Philistine's eye on
The huge Public-house reared aloft alongside,

"Which, like a tall Snob, on Northumberland's Lion
Looks down with the scorn of a parvenu's pride.

Old mansions that eye accounts dreary and shabby,
On vistas of splendid shops craving to dwell,

How fain would your Philistines Westminster Abbey
Remove, and replace with a Monster Hotel!

'Twere possible yet, though, from their tender mercies,

Did a generous Public and Parliament will,
To rescue the time-honoured House of the Pebctes,

By means of amendment to Philistine Bill.

a queer tale.

INVALUABLE OBTUSENESS.

The Times, in a leader, adverting to the incautiousness of certain
classes, employed as well as employers, truly observes that:—

" There is something in dangerous occupations which seems to blunt the
sensitiveness, if not to harden the hearts of those engaged in them, towards
the apprehension of peril. It is a temptation which affects all classes. The
miner is as reckless in lighting his pipe in a fiery mine as a mine-owner may
be reckless in neglecting to improve the ventilation."

Very true; and in the nature of things, apparently, this contempt
for danger, bred by familiarity with it, is fortunate for Society.
That is, if War be a necessary outcome of the nature of things. Or
else what should we do for soldiers ; at any rate, what would sol-
diers do for us ? What sort of fighting would be done for other
nations whose soldiers are not volunteers, do not enlist, but serve
under compulsion ? How would any army, not callous to jeopardy
of life and limb, behave under fire ? Recklessness of danger, con-
stitutional or acquired, may be partial idiocy ; but it is the courage
of the common mind. Let us praise it, therefore, Gentlemen and
Ladies, let us honour it exceedingly.

The Comforts of the Carnival.

At Rome, during the Carnival, a Correspondent says that:—

" When you venture out of doors, you are pelted with hard comfits, which
are made of plaster of Paris, and sting your face pretty sharply."

There may be nothing in a name, but we incline to think these
" comfits " should be rather called " dis-comfits."

sayings for seamen.

Mr. Plimsoll's exposure of the state of our Mercantile Marine
suggests new definitions :—Sinking Fund—the stock of Ship Insur-
If Man is descended from the Monkey, the descent must be, as the ance. Bottomry—money gained through a ship's going to the
lawyers say, " in tail." 1 bottom.