Punch (64.1873)

116

FUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Mabch 22, 1873.

TEMPORA MUTANTUR!

Ancient Messman (to his Officer just returned to Barracks). " Coffee and
Curacoa, Sir ?—Brandy and Soda ? "

Modern Captain. " Augh !—No. Bring me a Glass of Iced Toast-and-
Wat-ar 1 ! ! "

AWFUL ANNOUNCEMENT.

At the top of the Times Police Reports, on Friday,
last week, appeared a case which may be described as
both shocking and astounding :—

"At Marylebone, Sir John Duke Coleridge was sum-
moned by Mr. Bevan, on behalf of the Metropolitan Board of
AVorks, for having a chimney on fire at his residence, 1, Sussex
Square, Hyde Park. Ma. Mansfield inflicted a fine of Ids. and
5s. costs."

Tbe announcement that the Attorney-General (for
Mr. Gladstone was as yet Premier) had been summoned
before a Magistrate and fined, could not but have
shocked every the least sensitive nature in a degree only
less than the mind would have experienced from the
news that the Lord Chancellor or the Archbishop
or Canterbury had been " had up." Equally astound-
ing also was the intelligence that the offence charged
against Sir John Duke Coleridge was that of having
had a chimney on fire; as the right honourable and
learned gentleman is known to be a sweeping reformer.

THE CASE OF THE COAL RING.

It is a matter of statistics that the death-rate rose
very highly during the late cold weather. This increase
of mortality was evidently in a great measure due to the
coal famine. Happily for tbe thriving Coal-owners, this
is a consideration which Political Economy not only
permits, but enjoins them not to pay the slightest at-
tention to. Political Economy alone controls Legislation ;
Christianity is an affair of conscience. The Coal-owners
have quite as much right to make money irrespectively
of the death-rate as the men, who, the other day, refused
to try and rescue a drowning child, had to decline risk-
ing their persons; and therefore consistency requires
us to point out the absurdity of prefixing to paragraphs
describing the conduct of these latter in that respect
such headings as " Almost Incredible " and "Shocking
Inhumanity."

appeal to the united states.

You do sing " Hail, Columbia ! " as well as " Yankee
Doodle ; " but still your Continent has derived its name
from Amerigo Vespucci. Now, Amerigo is only the
Christian name of that voyager. Couldn't you sometimes
call your great and glorious country Yesputia ?

to let the Bill go into Committee, and then to improve it as much as
possible. And he said :—

" My hon. and learned friend the Member for Oxford, in his eloquent
speech the other day, said he had years of political life before him. I have
very little before me, but I have much behind me. I have an account to
render. I have a past and present to think of. The duties of the moment
are solemn, and I wish to leave upon record the solemn conviction I entertain
that it would be a grave and serious error c-n the part of this House were they
to give the slightest encouragement to the demand that is made for introducing
into Ireland the system of separate endowment for separate religious institu-
tions or academical purposes."

After some humorous references, to other speakers, especially
"that old but repentant rebel," Mr. Bentinck, Mr. Gladstone
said that he was not afraid of the charge that he wished to serve the
priests. He was ready to serve them, or any other men, as far as
justice demanded, but was not ready to go an inch further for them
or any other men. His peroration was fine :—

" To mete out justice to Ireland according to the best of our views, and to
which with our human infirmities we could attain, has been the work—I will
almost say the sacred work—of this Parliament (cheers and counter-cheers').
Having put our hand to the plough let us not turn back. Let not what we
think the folly and perverseness of those whom we are attempting to benefit
have the slightest effect in turning us from the path we have undertaken to
tread. As we have begun, so let us go through ; with a firm and resolute
hand let us efface from the laws and practice of the country the last—for I
believe it is the last—of the religious and social grievances of Ireland
(loud cheers)."

Then the House divided (about two on Wednesday morning), and
the numbers were:—

For the Government * . . . 284
Against......287

Majority against Government . . 3

The result was known before the proclamation was made, for
Colonel Taylor, the Conservative Whip, was unable to conceal

his triumph. He waved the paper, and the roof rang with the cheers
of the victors.

Mr. Gladstone said the vote was of a grave character, and he
moved the adjournment of the House until Thursday. So died the
Irish Higher Education Bill.

Thursday.—Announcement was made, in both Houses, that
Ministers had resigned.

It was known that Her Majesty, faithful as always to constitu-
tional traditions, had " sent for" Mr. Disraeli.

Both Houses adjourned until the Monday.

But the Commons did not separate until Mr. Osborne had tried
to extract some more information from those who, he said, had run
the ship aground, and to whom Mr. Gladstone, with admirable
gravity, replied that he had given a complete narrative of events so
far, and anything else belonged to a new chapter. Mr. Gilpin
suggested what the Times called the " puerile " device of a vote to
the effect that the rejection of the Bill did not mean want of confi-
dence, but he found no favour. Ke^p to the old lines, Gentlemen,
you will not mend them. Mr. Gladstone was simply doing an
English statesman's duty in resigning after a hostile vote on a large
question. We do not want our system improved. Finally, Mr.
Dillwyn tried to press his Salmon Bill, and the House roared. We
see nothing to laugh at. Irish Salmon do repay any pains taken to
improve them.

Nor did the Lords separate until they had done something.
Earlier in the week they read the important Judicature Bill a
Second Time, thus paying a tribute to the genius of the new Lord
Chancellor, who seems likely to succeed where so many have
failed. And this evening they debated the Marriage with a Wife's
Sister Bill, and once more rejected it, this time by 74 to 49. majority
25. You may like to know, Madam, that the Prince oe Wales and
the Duke of Edinburgh paired in favour of the Bill, the former
with his brother-in-law's father, the Duke oe Argyll, who opposed
it. Our cousin, the Duke of Cambridge, paired for its rejection.