Punch (64.1873)

196 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARf VA.RL. [May 10. 1873.

MISTAKEN IDENTITY.

Man on Fidgety Mare. " Gently, Old Lady ! Gently ! No Hurry ! "

Stout Lady crossing the Ride. "Who are you, calling me 4 Old Lady,' I should like to Know? I don't intend to Hurry,
I can Tell you ! "

OUR WHISPERING GALLERY.

We are in a position to contradict the rumour which has lately-
been gaining; ground, that in consequence of the daily increasing
demand for fresh fruit and vegetables in the Metropolis, Mr. Ayrton
has decided to convert a large portion of Kensington Gardens into
Market Gardens.

There is no foundation for the report that Mr. Gladstone is suf-
fering from harassing doubts as to the personal existence of Homer,
and the authenticity of the popular accounts of the Trojan campaign.

We have reason for believing that Mr. Lowe has no intention of
submitting to Parliament a supplementary estimate for the estab-
lishment and maintenance of a National School of Cookery.

A little bird has just whispered in our ear, but we cannot vouch
for its being well informed, that the leading supporters of the
Women's Wayward Movement are about to abandon their native
shores, and St. James's Hall, and Mr. Bouvebie and Mr. Leatham ;
and form a new settlement in one of our Transoceanic Colonies—
Mr. Jacob Bright to be the President of the Community, pro tern.,
until the Ladies have settled among themselves which of them has
the best right to take the lead.

A statement has gone the rounds of the Press, but we understand
without sufficient official authority, that the Shah oe Pebsia,
during his approaching visit to this country, will be invited to lay
the foundation-stone of a new wing to a well-known and popular
public Institution, with full Masonic honours, a Municipal address,
a procession of five hundred young ladies, dressed in the height of
the folly of fashion, to deposit purses of gold at his slippers, and a
luncheon after the ceremony in the nearest Town Hall.

A rumour is afloat, but we cannot trace it to its source, that a
healthy young sea-serpent is expected at Whitsuntide at the Brighton
Aquarium ; and that at the Crystal Palace an elegant chamber (in
the Rockoeo style) is in preparation for the reception of a mermaid
of prepossessing appearance and fascinating manners, now on her
voyage to this country from the Cannibannalian Seas.

The report that a large number of Equity Barristers are about to

present the Lord Chancellor with a full-length portrait of him-
self, holding the Judicature Bill in his right hand, seems to require
corroboration.

The news seems almost too good to be true, that the Royal
Academy have decided, after this year, to hang all the portraits in
a room by themselves, to be conspicuously labelled "Portrait
Room," and to which there will be no additional charge for
admission.

It is whispered in the Clubs that the future position of this
country with regard to the oyster is likely to engage the attention of
the Cabinet before next season. The question is one which cannot
long be shelved.—No epigram about shelv-tish implied.

Great excitement has been caused in the House of Commons by a
report that the Government have serious thoughts of not adjourning
this year for the Derby Day, but intend to add an additional holiday
to the Whitsuntide recess, by way of compensation.

We regret to announce that, after the most searching investiga-
tion, we have failed to meet with anybody who saw the Members of
the Metropolitan Board of Works twining garlands of flowers round
the lamp-posts on the Thames Embankment, on the morning of the
First of May.

It is whispered that the first stone of the new Courts of Justice
will not be laid until Prince Albert Victor is of an age to take
the chief part in public ceremonials.

We must leave it to our listeners to say what reliance they think
is to be placed on the assertion that Government intend to delegate
to a Royal Commission, with its head-quarters at Greenwich, the
delicate task of settling the long-pending question—What is a
whitebait?

A rumour has reached us—we give it for what it is worth—that
through the liberality of the great City Companies, all the London
Bridges will be thrown open, toll free, after the 31st of March next.

A project is said to be on foot for forming a Company to supply
the streets at the West End of London, during the season, with,
scented water. The carts to be elegant and ornamental in their
structure, to revolve on noiseless wheels, and to be fitted up with an
ingenious musical apparatus, by means of which a selection from