Punch (64.1873)

Mat 17, 1873.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 201

Mk, Taylor's grievance-mongering, and stated that the decent and tidy man
for whom he was making fight got " mad drunk " four times in four years.

Should you be surprised to hear, Madam, that Me. Whalley got at Obton
again, for the third time in five days, and tried to drag him in on a Bankruptcy
Court vote, on the ground that Orton had been a Bankrupt. It is true. He
tried to explode several times, but was "sat upon," the House roaring.
Finally he complained of the "insolent" manner in which he was treated, but
a cry arising, he withdrew the word. Mr. Punch's best compliments and con-
gratulations to the electors of Peterborough on their Representative Man. Are
they all Whallies ?

LIQUOR LAW LOGIC.

at the evidence that the Screw is put on, palpably,
by tbe fanatics of abstinence, and by the licensed
victuallers. The "insolence" of both sides was strongly
censured, and proof was given that English gentlemen
are indignant at dictation. Mb. Brtjce opposed the Bill
heartily, and it was thrown out by 321 to 81.

Thursday.—Lobd Redesdale carried Resolutions for
preventing the G-as-folks from permanently raising their
price. Some day we should like to know why they do
not, on Sunday nights, put on pressure enough to light up
our houses properly. The " dim religious light" we get
on those evenings elicits remarks which are only religious
in acomrninatory sense, and "dim" becomesMantalinian
in pronunciation.

Ha ! The Constitution was in danger, for a moment.
But the Speakeb saved it. The promoters of a Bradford
Bill introduced it in the Lords, notwithstanding that it
contained Money Clauses—conduct worthy of Jonathan
Bradford. But Mb. Fobsteb instantly undertook that
submission should be made, and we breathed again.

Mb. Baxteb stated that an awful amount of tobacco is
annually destroyed at the Custom House—smoked in
what is called the Queen's Pipe—but that it is all very
bad. Better far, than that it should be sold to our youth,
for the whitening of their faces, and the stunting of their
growth.

Whalley on Obton again. Again snubbed, he de-
manded whether Mb. Bbtjce would prosecute him if he
published certain letters. The Home Secbetaby referred
him to the Attorney-General, and the House roared.
Yet Mb. Whalley can talk good sense when he has not
got hold of a crotchet, and in a subsequent debate he
pointed out that a fine of forty shillings would nof deter
the Liverpool Liberals from choking up their register

oncerniko tne Per-

with fictitious voters, particularly Irishmen. /W^j^^^^Ppf ^ifiK^V^X missive Prohibitory

Mb. Lowe ought not to have been asked a question J 7 SK^SPIIm^! lid/' ILJWCVV/ Member for Carlisle

about Servants, having himself had an unpleasantness ; (Tvj / ^^^^^^WmmlW^^^^.^. on his legS hlS
with an insolent Teetotal Butler, whom, we are happy to ! ^^SMRSm^^Jm^W^^^ X< 4'\ hobby, upon Wed-

say, he defeated in open Court. And, Madam, we are
quite sure that you would applaud the true and lady-
like courage which prompted Mrs. Lowe, whom the
fellow bad insulted, to appear and give testimony against
him. Sham fine ladies would have declared that they
should faint away if asked to do a reasonable act like
that. Kindly ring the bell for your butler, " a spirit of
another sort," as we should like, respectfully, to drink
to Mbs. Lowe's health. To proceed. Mb. Hermon (has
he any fine mountain dew, as his namesake in ancient
writ had P) asked whether, if the Chancellob oe the
Exchequer gave a party, he would pay the tax on his
extra waiters. _ Mb. Lowe was quite certain that he
would do nothing of the kind.

There was a good deal of miscellaneous talk, but we
fear that it must have been dull, for the King oe the
Belgians looked into the Gallery of Honour, but stayed
only ten minutes.

nesday last, the
Times is so flatter-
ing as to say that:—

"He could not con-
vince his opponents,
but he drove some of
them into a corner.
Mr. Dalbtmple, for
instance, who still pro-
poses to lock up the
drunkard, was point-
edly asked whether
there would not he
quite as much reason
in locking up the
drink."

_ If Mb. Dalbymple did not instantly bolt out of his corner, and over his ques-
tioner, he could have been withheld only by unilateral regard to a two-sided

tp t ^-n-r^ Dttoot-tt 1 v> n . ,,. ; proverb of the wise King's. There would not be as much reason in locking up

Friday.— LoBD Rtjssexx made his first appearance this fhfi Hririk aH iT1 1nfttiT1«, * tvfl ^r^Wd. tw lnnlrin* nr, t.h« drunkard, you

Session, but showed that he meant to make up for lost
time, moving for three sets of papers, on the subjects
whereof (Irish) he promised that their Lordships should
hear speeches. They were so delighted that they
instantly rose to go home and tell the good news to their
Peeresses and the younger ladies. Observe the exquisite
delicacy of the comparative. All ladies are young,
Madam.

" Toungness is your first law, but this contest,
Some are, and must be, younger than the rest."

Mb. Eykyn spoke out for the Police, who have many
grievances, and shall have our aid in procuring redress.
A great deal more ought to be done for the brave and
much too-goodnatured fellows who at the risk of life and
limb, keep the brutal " roughs" in some kind of order.
Mb. Bbttce made the usual official reply, and praised
Colonel Hendebson, who deserves, we believe, all the
praise he received. But

"When it's a case of fair play to brave Bobby
Let every good Member select the right lobby.

Mb. Peteb Tayxob's grievance about a man who, it
was alleged, received extra sentence for laughing at
the Shiffhal Magistrates, came up again. The Attorney -
General rose this time,_ dignus vindice tiodus, and Mb.
Peteb got something which he would not have had from
the mild Mb. Bbtjce. Sib John made great fun of

the drink as in locking up the drunkard. By locking up the drunkard, you
prevent him from doing harm. You do not at the same time prevent him
from exercising a power of doing good; because he is drunk and incapable.
But, by locking up the drink, you do not only prevent it from doing harm to
the sots who abuse it, but you also hinder it from doing good to the sober
who use it in moderation to the refreshment of their bedies, and solace and
satisfaction of their minds. In thus answering a certain description of reasoner
according to the measure of his wisdom, with a view to rectify, if not his own
estimate of it, at least that which may have been formed thereof by others, it is
humbly hoped that the mistake has not been committed of becoming like unto
him.

The Nomenclature of Fiction.

Is a new class of titles for Novels coming into vogue ? Or are the Novels
themselves going to be meteorological, like our conversation ? It looks so, when
we see advertised, the one under the other, Wild Weather and Bright Morn-
ing. Plenty more names of the same sort could be suggested—The Rainy
Lay, April Showers, Something in the Wind, Angry Clouds, All in a Fog,
A Storm Brewing, &c. ^_

Shavings.

A Meeting of Carpenters and Joiners, in Lambeth, the other evening,
resolved to memorialise their employers for an advance of wages by one hall-
penny an hour. If their demand be complied with, let us hope these British
workers in wood will know a deal better than to expend the increment of their
earnings in any description of beverage possessing the properties of American
" timberdoodle."

Vol. 64.

1