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Punch — 65.1873

DOI issue:
August 30, 1873
DOI Page / Citation link:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16937#0094
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82

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 30, 1873.

GEOGRAPHY PAPER.

upposing your life, your liberty, your matrimonial pro-
spects depended upon the correctness of tbe answer, could
you say what the Limpopo is—rare bird or secluded river
—or in what quarter of the world it is to be found ?

How much time do you require to collect your ideas
and tell your contemporaries what you know about the
Tulul el Safa ? Would a private room be of service ?

Are you acquainted with the Neighbourhood of Bunder
Marayah, or, better still, with Bunder Marayah itself ?
Any information you can supply as to lodgings, table
d'hote, prices of provisions, return tickets, shooting, etc.,
will be very acceptable to those of us who are now
debating “ Where to go.”

How long does A Journey in Yezo take, and do you go
by road, rail, or river ? Are the Hotels clean, cheap, and
comfortable ?

Would you prefer to spend your vacation in making an
Expedition with an Archimandrite through Manchuria
(for further particulars of that terrible country consult
the learned Carolusagnus), or in taking a Journey with
Havildar through Chitral to Faizabad ? (An immediate
reply is requested, as the number of applicants is
enormous.)

Should you feel perfectly happy, comfortable, and
secure, if, after starting from Shiraz, you were told that
you were bound for Bam? Would not an expression of
incredulity steal over your face, on hearing what your
destination was to be ?

You are, of course, well acquainted with the bearings
of the Old Hebrides. Will you compare them longitudi-
nally and latitudinally with those of the New Hebrides,
and add anything of interest that you may happen to
know in reference to the Santa Cruz group ?

What are your feelings this warm weather about Equatorial Africa ?

Which Island do you know least about—the Island of Minicoy or the Island of Sagalin ?

What was the cause of the untimely fate of the “ Ruined Cities ” of Central America—luxury or over-speculation ?

Conversant as you necessarily are, from your Public School and University education, with the geography of Australia, and perfectly
clear as you must be in your recollection of the exact relative position of North Australia, South Australia, West Australia, Queensland,
Tasmania, Victoria, New South Wales, and the Great Australian Bight, you can have no difficulty in explaining how you would proceed
to explore the south-western portion of that Continent.

If you were asked where the Bhawulpore State was, in answering India you would be so far correct; but, as India is a wide district,
a little more precise information will be acceptable.

Have you quite made up your mind what the Anti-Libanus is, or are you still wavering between a prophylactic and a Society ?

“ Echigo, Echiu, Kaga, and Noto.” These are not names of everyday occurrence, we admit; and, therefore, we shall be agreeably
surprised if you can state of what country (it begins with J and ends with n) they are provinces. It is not our province to assist you
further.

You know Upper Tooting ? Has it ever struck you that there is a similarity between that region and the Upper Oxus ?

Was the visit to Fernando Noronha a success ? Did he offer refreshments, and has he returned the call ?

Where is “Monograph on the Oxus” ?

Only tell us (privately, if more agreeable) something about “ Ttahuantin Suyu,” and we promise never again to ask you
disagreeable questions.

N.B.—Should any difficulty be felt in answering these few simple elementary questions, a reference to the “ Journal of the Royal
Geographical Society, Yol. SLII., now ready,” will put an end to all troubles.

SOCIAL SCIENCE AND SMOKE.

Perhaps some competent member of the Social Science Association
will, with a view to a paper for their approaching Congress, make a
note of the following extract from the Times:—

“ Tobacco.—Smoking is greatly on the increase, as appears from an
official paper just issued. In the last seven months the declared value of
unmanufactured tobacco imported was 1,068,201 lb., against 623,588 lb. in the
corresponding period of the previous year.” '

Sine Cerere et JBaccho friget Venus. From Baccho the transition
by phonetic impulse to tobacco is natural, and suggests the question
whether the increase of smoking has had the effect of increasing
the marriage-rate ?

Tobacco is not the same with Baccho in its properties, and it is
very different from bread. Statistics show that a fall of bread
always coincides with a rise of matrimony. This fact illustrates
the providence of the Masses ; when bread falls they immediately
marry, calculating that it will never rise again. At the same time
they purchase more tobacco. With them the fragrant weed is not
unfavourable to the tender passion. But amongst the poorer middle
and comparatively less wealthy of the upper classes, a young man
in love is now by no means the common phenomenon that he used to
be. On the contrary, the goose has become a black swan, and, in
the meanwhile, the consumption of tobacco has evidently increased,
especially amongst middle and upper class young men. Tobacco
allays cravings ; it may allay the cravings of affection. Smoking is
a practice conducive to philosophical serenity, and exclusive of sen-
timental emotion; now the love which actuates the better orders,

when they give way to it, is specifically sentimental. As a powerful
aid to reflection, smoking disposes youth to calculate consequences ;
thus tending to co-operate, in relation to love and matrimony, with
the difficulty of obtaining decent employment and with the high
price of provisions. And, certainly, it is now very seldom that a
poor young gentleman enrages and grieves his anxious parents by
marrying a girl without a penny.

You want statistical returns of the comparative consumption of
bird’s-eye, Havannah cigars, and the rest of the higher class to-
baccos. Also a numerical comparison of the average of “Mar-
riages” in the Times yearly for a series of years. This information
would require taking some trouble to get it, but that, to a votary of
Social Science, would be a labour of love. In conducting this im-
portant and interesting inquiry, there is one point which should
not fail to receive due investigation. Care should be taken _ to
ascertain, if possible, to what extent the habit of smoking prevails,
and the rate at which it has increased from a given period of recent
date, amongst young ladies.

Sport and Saying.

A phrase once much in v ogue to express excellence was “This
beats cock-fighting.” Good phrases are, and ever were commend-
able, but cock-fighting is now illegal, because it is thought cruel.
We could, however, still say, “ This beats pigeon-shooting.”

An Impossible Manoeuvre in Autumn.—To be in the March past.
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