DOI issue:
August 30, 1873
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16937#0093
August 30, 1873.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
81
BOS WANTS EPHIPPIA.
Rustic. “ Ah, I wish I could Do that there, Sir ! ”
Artist (who has been Sketching all day in the Sun). “ Do you ? Why ?”
Rustic. “Well, Sir, I be main Tired o’ Hard Work! !”
BALDACCHINO FOB BARNEY.
RoGUEY-pogey Ritualee,
Did lie want a baldacchino 9
Would he play at Romanee ?
There, then ! Dolly he bambino.
Dolly lay in little crib ;
Baldacchino raise ’hove DoUy.
Put biretta on, and bib ;
Did they call it Parson’s folly?
Bow to Dolly, that’s a man;
Bend a knee and lie down lowly
Flat on face, sing “Dolly bran
All inside, bnt holy-poly.”
Bishop consecrate him oil;
Bless him wax, and holy water ;
Squirt and sprinkle ; shall he spoil,
Shan’t he, dress of Fashion’s daughter?
Incense for his little pot,
Smell, how nice, see how smoke lingers !
Swing-swong!—but the censer’s hot;
Mind he doesn’t burn his lingers.
Good for Evil.
His Majesty, Christian, King of Denmark, has verified
his name. He has conferred on the Prince Imperial of
Germany the Order of the Elephant. This, for the Sove-
reign who was despoiled of Schleswig-Holstein, is tran-
scendental forgiveness.
One would think, however, if one did not. know better,
that the Order of the Elephant was an order not of hono-
rary distinction, but of architecture. Would you not
take the Order of the Elephant to be a phrase for the
Tuscan Order ?
OUR MASTERS.
“ A conference of Home Rulers is being held in Newcastle-
on-Tyne.”
It will not surprise us to learn that the Conference
was attended by an overwhelming number of married
ladies. Home Rule is a subject thousands of them
thoroughly understand.
INSTEAD OP THE SEA.
Do not be despairing, if financial or other obstacles compel you to
relinquish your intention of visiting the sea-side this Autumn. By
the exercise of a little ingenuity you may, though you never stir
out of London, secure most if not all of the pleasures and advantages
which Breezegate or Gayborough can offer, without the expenses,
inconveniences, and drawbacks, which past experience has taught
you to associate with a temporary residence in those Marine Elysia.
All you require is a few hints how to proceed. Here they are, care-
fully selected.
Saline bathing the first thing in the morning has been recom-
mended yon. Some “ Sea Salt ” in your own comfortable bath, in
your own snug bed-room, will enable you to follow your medical
adviser’s directions to the letter, and spare you much you would
have to go through at Shingleton—the premature rising to be in
time for some particular condition of the tide, the hasty equipment,
the hurried walk, the bathing caravan, and all its damping circum-
stances.
The simple addition of a dish of shrimps, or the more refined
prawns, to your breakfast-table, will at once put you on a par with
your more affluent brother-in-law at Jetby.
Your morning promenade is a very obvious arrangement. Where-
ever you may live, be it in the North at Islington, or in the South
at Stockwell, in the East at Hackney, or the West at Brompton, you
can easily, speedily, and cheaply reach the Strand. If you are
inclined to extend your ramble, at the proper time (any almanack
or calendar will tell you the exact hour and minute), you may take
your stand on London Bridge, and there, in your light suit and
straw hat, and sand shoes, wait for high water. Should the day be
windy, it will be an agreeable variety to return by the Embank-
ment, and watch the yeasty waves foaming in the wake of the
steam-vessels and other craft navigating the waters of our great
tidal stream.
And now, with heightened colour and sharpened appetite, you are
ready for the fish dinner which can always be obtained in London,
but is not so invariably to be depended upon by the occupants of
furnished lodgings at three guineas and a half a week (kitchen lire,
gas, boot-cleaning, the use of plate and linen, and attendance,
extra), at Quayside or Algathorpe.
As the day wears on, books will form a iileasant resource. The
observation of an eminent naturalist that fish, as an article of food,
is beneficial to the brain, will come home to you with redoubled
force, when you find your appreciation of Georges Sand, or Crabbe,
or Shelley, or some other old-established favourite (Sprat now-
a-days nobody reads—he is quite out of season), keener than ever
after your finny meal.
Music will be instrumental in helping you to while away the
twilight hours. As you listen to or take a part in By the Sad Sea
Waves, The Minute Gun at Sea, The Sands of Dee, What are the
Wild Waves Saying f and other nautical ballads and concerted
pieces, the last trace of envy of Barwyse at Charmouth, or Steel-
man at Llanynlleth, will fade away into the peaceful evening.
A lobster, with or without salad, will be the fitting close to a
well-spent day; and if you seek your bed a little earlier than
usual (No—I think 1 would not take a Cockle), you will only be
following the example of Lothberry, gaping simultaneously at
Fernycombe, or your old friend, Mark Mincing, yawning, with a
candlestick in his hand, the self-same hour, at Dawdlish.
Insufficiently Armed
Our attention has been drawn to a paragraph headed “ New Arm
for American Cavalry.” Fp to this moment we were ignorant that
horse soldiers in the ITnited States had not the proper equipment of
members ; and we can but rejoice that so serious a deficiency is
about to be made good—probably by one of those mechanical con-
trivances in which our Transatlantic brethren are known to excel.
We conclude that it is not the sword arm American troopers have
wanted.
81
BOS WANTS EPHIPPIA.
Rustic. “ Ah, I wish I could Do that there, Sir ! ”
Artist (who has been Sketching all day in the Sun). “ Do you ? Why ?”
Rustic. “Well, Sir, I be main Tired o’ Hard Work! !”
BALDACCHINO FOB BARNEY.
RoGUEY-pogey Ritualee,
Did lie want a baldacchino 9
Would he play at Romanee ?
There, then ! Dolly he bambino.
Dolly lay in little crib ;
Baldacchino raise ’hove DoUy.
Put biretta on, and bib ;
Did they call it Parson’s folly?
Bow to Dolly, that’s a man;
Bend a knee and lie down lowly
Flat on face, sing “Dolly bran
All inside, bnt holy-poly.”
Bishop consecrate him oil;
Bless him wax, and holy water ;
Squirt and sprinkle ; shall he spoil,
Shan’t he, dress of Fashion’s daughter?
Incense for his little pot,
Smell, how nice, see how smoke lingers !
Swing-swong!—but the censer’s hot;
Mind he doesn’t burn his lingers.
Good for Evil.
His Majesty, Christian, King of Denmark, has verified
his name. He has conferred on the Prince Imperial of
Germany the Order of the Elephant. This, for the Sove-
reign who was despoiled of Schleswig-Holstein, is tran-
scendental forgiveness.
One would think, however, if one did not. know better,
that the Order of the Elephant was an order not of hono-
rary distinction, but of architecture. Would you not
take the Order of the Elephant to be a phrase for the
Tuscan Order ?
OUR MASTERS.
“ A conference of Home Rulers is being held in Newcastle-
on-Tyne.”
It will not surprise us to learn that the Conference
was attended by an overwhelming number of married
ladies. Home Rule is a subject thousands of them
thoroughly understand.
INSTEAD OP THE SEA.
Do not be despairing, if financial or other obstacles compel you to
relinquish your intention of visiting the sea-side this Autumn. By
the exercise of a little ingenuity you may, though you never stir
out of London, secure most if not all of the pleasures and advantages
which Breezegate or Gayborough can offer, without the expenses,
inconveniences, and drawbacks, which past experience has taught
you to associate with a temporary residence in those Marine Elysia.
All you require is a few hints how to proceed. Here they are, care-
fully selected.
Saline bathing the first thing in the morning has been recom-
mended yon. Some “ Sea Salt ” in your own comfortable bath, in
your own snug bed-room, will enable you to follow your medical
adviser’s directions to the letter, and spare you much you would
have to go through at Shingleton—the premature rising to be in
time for some particular condition of the tide, the hasty equipment,
the hurried walk, the bathing caravan, and all its damping circum-
stances.
The simple addition of a dish of shrimps, or the more refined
prawns, to your breakfast-table, will at once put you on a par with
your more affluent brother-in-law at Jetby.
Your morning promenade is a very obvious arrangement. Where-
ever you may live, be it in the North at Islington, or in the South
at Stockwell, in the East at Hackney, or the West at Brompton, you
can easily, speedily, and cheaply reach the Strand. If you are
inclined to extend your ramble, at the proper time (any almanack
or calendar will tell you the exact hour and minute), you may take
your stand on London Bridge, and there, in your light suit and
straw hat, and sand shoes, wait for high water. Should the day be
windy, it will be an agreeable variety to return by the Embank-
ment, and watch the yeasty waves foaming in the wake of the
steam-vessels and other craft navigating the waters of our great
tidal stream.
And now, with heightened colour and sharpened appetite, you are
ready for the fish dinner which can always be obtained in London,
but is not so invariably to be depended upon by the occupants of
furnished lodgings at three guineas and a half a week (kitchen lire,
gas, boot-cleaning, the use of plate and linen, and attendance,
extra), at Quayside or Algathorpe.
As the day wears on, books will form a iileasant resource. The
observation of an eminent naturalist that fish, as an article of food,
is beneficial to the brain, will come home to you with redoubled
force, when you find your appreciation of Georges Sand, or Crabbe,
or Shelley, or some other old-established favourite (Sprat now-
a-days nobody reads—he is quite out of season), keener than ever
after your finny meal.
Music will be instrumental in helping you to while away the
twilight hours. As you listen to or take a part in By the Sad Sea
Waves, The Minute Gun at Sea, The Sands of Dee, What are the
Wild Waves Saying f and other nautical ballads and concerted
pieces, the last trace of envy of Barwyse at Charmouth, or Steel-
man at Llanynlleth, will fade away into the peaceful evening.
A lobster, with or without salad, will be the fitting close to a
well-spent day; and if you seek your bed a little earlier than
usual (No—I think 1 would not take a Cockle), you will only be
following the example of Lothberry, gaping simultaneously at
Fernycombe, or your old friend, Mark Mincing, yawning, with a
candlestick in his hand, the self-same hour, at Dawdlish.
Insufficiently Armed
Our attention has been drawn to a paragraph headed “ New Arm
for American Cavalry.” Fp to this moment we were ignorant that
horse soldiers in the ITnited States had not the proper equipment of
members ; and we can but rejoice that so serious a deficiency is
about to be made good—probably by one of those mechanical con-
trivances in which our Transatlantic brethren are known to excel.
We conclude that it is not the sword arm American troopers have
wanted.