DOI issue:
August 23, 1873
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16937#0092
80 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 23, 1873.
THE SCHOOL TREAT.
Young Lady (to Little Girl). “My dear, what’s your Name?” Little Girl. “Eh?”
Young Lady. “What’s your Name, my dear?”
Little Girl. “ 0, we didn’t come here to Say our Catechism ! We came to Play and Enjoy ourselves. Come along,
Alice, and have a Donkey Ride ! ”
“AMANG YE, TAKEN’ NOTES.”
Our provincial friends of the Press will be good enough to
remember that Punch has now a little time to look about him, that
as he reposes sub tegmine, the local paper comes under his keen eye,
and that a blue pencil (if he may mention such a thing without
Contempt of Court) is usually in his waistcoat pocket, for the mark-
ing of any matter that may seem to him facetious. In proof whereof
he subjoins a Blue passage from a late Leamington Chronicle. A
certain concert was described, and this tribute was borne to the
talents of Miss Edith Wynne, who, ’deed truth, deserves all sorts of
laudation.
“ Miss Edith Wynne is the Titiens of the saloon, and sang with her
clear notes reaching the circumference of the audible in the silence of atten-
tive appreciation; and interspersing the programme with the Orpheus Glee
Union, who sang without accompaniment with a roll of tone and precision of
time that show what can be done by high cultivation brought to bear on the
melodies that have won the reputation of melodious for all time.”
We do not say that this is bad musical criticism, as times go, but
on the whole we should prefer a somewhat “ nicer derangement of
epitaphs.”
The Official Paradise.
When the Bight Honourable and Amiable Gentleman, who was
President of the Board of Works, and is Judge-Advocate-General,
first entered on the duties of his former office, he made, it will be
recollected, a speech, wherein, amongst other negative qualifications
for the performance of them, the advantage of being no market-
gardener was one which he claimed credit for. In the capacity, to
use a questionable expression, which Mr. Ayrton has vacated, he is
succeeded by Mr. Adam. If worthy of his name, whether he prove
to be an PEdile or no, Adam will at any rate be a gardener.
WHINE AND WATER.
WANTED, a BUTLER for a family in the country ; must be a tee-
totaller, and have a good character.—Apply, stating age, length of
character, and wages expected, to * * *, care of Mr. Tweedie, 337, Strand.
Contrary to our wont, we give the address, if only to compliment
our friend Mr. Tweedie upon his instructive Temperance Gallery
of Pictures. We always stop to look at them when we walk up that
side of the Strand, and are always filled with moral abstaining sen-
timents which last us until we get to the Club, and call for sherry
and bitters. But what does the advertisement mean ? A Teetotal
Butler! Are the advertisers Teetotallers ? (Bless the slang!) If
so, they do not want a Butler. But do they partake of the glorious
juice of the grape, given by kind Providence to make glad the heart
of man ? If so, why a Teetotal Butler ? Is it not that official’s
business to know all about his wines, and to advise his master F
And ought he not to take care that no hottle he produces is corked ?
We should as soon engage a Yegetarian Cook as a Teetotal Butler.
The fact is, that the abstaining fanaticism means water on the
brain, and hence idiotcy.
A Great Deal in a Name.
Distinctions are always invidious, and to be avoided. In “the
Intelligence Department of the Army ” there would seem to lurk ai
implication, which terror of the new Judge Advocate-General an«i
his powers forbids us indicating more definitely. Is it too late to
select a less obtrusive title for this new Department ? Besides, the
Royal Engineers have long had a right to it.
cabinet news.
The only Ministers who are on speaking terms are the Premier
and the Chancellor oe the Exchequer.
THE SCHOOL TREAT.
Young Lady (to Little Girl). “My dear, what’s your Name?” Little Girl. “Eh?”
Young Lady. “What’s your Name, my dear?”
Little Girl. “ 0, we didn’t come here to Say our Catechism ! We came to Play and Enjoy ourselves. Come along,
Alice, and have a Donkey Ride ! ”
“AMANG YE, TAKEN’ NOTES.”
Our provincial friends of the Press will be good enough to
remember that Punch has now a little time to look about him, that
as he reposes sub tegmine, the local paper comes under his keen eye,
and that a blue pencil (if he may mention such a thing without
Contempt of Court) is usually in his waistcoat pocket, for the mark-
ing of any matter that may seem to him facetious. In proof whereof
he subjoins a Blue passage from a late Leamington Chronicle. A
certain concert was described, and this tribute was borne to the
talents of Miss Edith Wynne, who, ’deed truth, deserves all sorts of
laudation.
“ Miss Edith Wynne is the Titiens of the saloon, and sang with her
clear notes reaching the circumference of the audible in the silence of atten-
tive appreciation; and interspersing the programme with the Orpheus Glee
Union, who sang without accompaniment with a roll of tone and precision of
time that show what can be done by high cultivation brought to bear on the
melodies that have won the reputation of melodious for all time.”
We do not say that this is bad musical criticism, as times go, but
on the whole we should prefer a somewhat “ nicer derangement of
epitaphs.”
The Official Paradise.
When the Bight Honourable and Amiable Gentleman, who was
President of the Board of Works, and is Judge-Advocate-General,
first entered on the duties of his former office, he made, it will be
recollected, a speech, wherein, amongst other negative qualifications
for the performance of them, the advantage of being no market-
gardener was one which he claimed credit for. In the capacity, to
use a questionable expression, which Mr. Ayrton has vacated, he is
succeeded by Mr. Adam. If worthy of his name, whether he prove
to be an PEdile or no, Adam will at any rate be a gardener.
WHINE AND WATER.
WANTED, a BUTLER for a family in the country ; must be a tee-
totaller, and have a good character.—Apply, stating age, length of
character, and wages expected, to * * *, care of Mr. Tweedie, 337, Strand.
Contrary to our wont, we give the address, if only to compliment
our friend Mr. Tweedie upon his instructive Temperance Gallery
of Pictures. We always stop to look at them when we walk up that
side of the Strand, and are always filled with moral abstaining sen-
timents which last us until we get to the Club, and call for sherry
and bitters. But what does the advertisement mean ? A Teetotal
Butler! Are the advertisers Teetotallers ? (Bless the slang!) If
so, they do not want a Butler. But do they partake of the glorious
juice of the grape, given by kind Providence to make glad the heart
of man ? If so, why a Teetotal Butler ? Is it not that official’s
business to know all about his wines, and to advise his master F
And ought he not to take care that no hottle he produces is corked ?
We should as soon engage a Yegetarian Cook as a Teetotal Butler.
The fact is, that the abstaining fanaticism means water on the
brain, and hence idiotcy.
A Great Deal in a Name.
Distinctions are always invidious, and to be avoided. In “the
Intelligence Department of the Army ” there would seem to lurk ai
implication, which terror of the new Judge Advocate-General an«i
his powers forbids us indicating more definitely. Is it too late to
select a less obtrusive title for this new Department ? Besides, the
Royal Engineers have long had a right to it.
cabinet news.
The only Ministers who are on speaking terms are the Premier
and the Chancellor oe the Exchequer.