DOI issue:
November 22, 1873
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16937#0215
November 22, 1873.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
203
URSA MAJOR.
Caiman. “Let’s pass yee, avtel yer, Old TJn?”
Black Bear. “Pass, if your Brute can go; but it’s no good. There’s
no Growlers will be allowed to Jine us : nothin’ but respectable
AFFLICTED WEHICLES, WITH RESPECTABLE ATTIRED DRIVERS.”
THE COMING ELECTION.
In two or three of the Metropolitan School Board
Districts, Ladies—well qualified for the office they are
willing to undertake—are offering themselves for elec-
tion. This is proper Woman’s work—far more suitable
for her than walking the hospitals, or interfering in
borough elections, or addressing excited Female Suffrage
meetings ; and we cordially wish that Marylebone, and
Chelsea, and Greenwich may all return lady representa-
tives. Miss Becker has already been chosen on the New
Board at Manchester, where there would seem to be
ample scope for her energies in providing for the
education of her own sex; for taking p>art in the election
in that city ‘ ‘ there was a considerable number of
women voters, among whom the illiterates were largely
found.” It is too late to inxprove the present generation,
hut the next may be made happier and better, if there
is not too much squabbling over clauses and systems.
Vote for the Ladies, all you noble disciples of Philosopher
Punch.
Distinctive Spelling.
That appliance of a Railway Train which serves the
Engineer to pull it up short is called a Brake. Why ?
Before Railways were, a brake meant fern, brambles, an
instrument for dressing linen or flax, the handle of a
ship’s pump, and a baker’s kneading-trough. None of
these things arrest progress. A contrivance to break
speed, if denominated from its use, should he named a
Break. Orthography, perhaps, is violated to mark a
distinction between the Railway Brake and the Railway
break-down and breakage of bones which the brake too
often proves inadequate to avert.
Escape of a Lunatic.
A plan for the improvement of the harbour and
approaches of Whitby, at a cost of £105,600, has been
approved of by the local authorities, and an early axipli-
cation will be made to Parliament by Mr. Elliot, the
excellent and clear-headed Member for North Durham,
for authority to carry it out. An inmate of Colney
Hatch, allowed to read newspapiers, remarked, on meet-
ing in one of them with the foregoing intelligence, that
the abundance of jet at Whitby would render it an easy
matter to provide the harbour with a jetty.
A POINT OP PRUDENCE.
A Correspondent of the Times, “ T. A.,” relates in what manner
he was once seized and locked up by the Police, and brought before
a Magistrate at Marlborough Street on a false charge of assaulting
them in the execution of their duty. All this annoyance “ T. A.”
says he incurred by simply following a crowd, which crowd Avas
folloAving some policemen who were conveying two drunk and dis-
orderly women to the station-house. In company with a friend he
followed this crowd “ to see what was going on.” Having gratified
his curiosity by seeing the women put inside the station-house, he
encountered a surprise at the hands of a policeman, who rushed out
of it and collared him.
Never follow a crowd merely “ to see what is going on.” That
can generally be seen at a safe distance from the crowd, and is then
always seen to he not worth seeing. What is going on is very
seldom anything new. It has gone on innumerable times before,
and will continue going on repeatedly for ever. A million to one
you will he none the wiser when you shall have seen what is going
on. Almost certainly you will he none the better ; very probably
something, and perhaps a good deal, the worse. You may get
hustled and bonneted, have your clothes torn or your hat beaten in,
or your head punched, or your toes trodden on, or your pocket
picked. All these misfortunes together even may befall you.
Having seen what is going on, say a roiv, yon may find yourself
nailed to describe it, in a witness-box ; first at a police-office, and
then at the Central Criminal Court, or the Middlesex Sessions, or
some other sessions or assizes, at which you will be kept dancing
attendance for a week, having, in the meanwhile, had this nuisance
for some months before you to look forward to, destroying your
j peace of mind. Lastly, you may get yourself collared by the Police,
as “ T. A.” did. By folloAving a crowd to see what is going on, you
- constitute yourself one of the crowd. Joining a lot of foolish peoxile,
; you make yourself like unto them, are then confounded with some-
body else among them, and taken into custody for that other; the
Police pouncing on the wrong fool.
If, with all these consequences before your eyes, and your eyes
open, you deliberately follow a croAvd for the purpose of seeing what
is going on in order to interfere with it possibly for the x>ublic
advantage, or the protection of some fellow-creature or creatures
unknown to you, at the risk of being maltreated, mauled, robbed,
subjiaena’d, or locked up, that is another affair. WeU and good;
then you are no more a fool than a knight-errant was. You go in
for self-sacrifice ; you are taken to a station-house here, but hope
to he rewarded for 'it hereafter. This expectation may sustain you
in the cell you are thrust into among the thieves and drunkards ;
but be quite sure of your motive before you follow a crowd at the
risk of incurring confinement in that society.
The crowd that follows xioliceinen walking off prisoners in charge,
resembles the flock of small birds commonly seen at the tail of a
hawk skimming along with a chicken in its talons. By-and-by the
hawk suddenly turns round, perhaps, and snatches off one of its
troublesome attendants as well. The fate of the little bird in this
case is just such as that which appears to have been experienced by
“ T. A.” Do you wish to avoid it ? Then respect yourself so much
as not to allow a gregarious instinct, like that which actuates the
lower creatures, to impel you to follow a crowd of people for no
wiser purpose than to see what is going on.
Italian Imagery.
Speaking of Count Cavour, the Mayor of Turin said:—
“ Thanks to him the star of Savoy had become the sun of Italy.”
A brilliant metaphor, no doubt, hut of questionable novelty.
Had the orator descended from astronomy to horticulture, and
sun ply remarked that the Cabbage of Savoy had grown into the
full-blown Cauliflower of Italy, the observation would have been
immensely more original, and hardly less poetic.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
203
URSA MAJOR.
Caiman. “Let’s pass yee, avtel yer, Old TJn?”
Black Bear. “Pass, if your Brute can go; but it’s no good. There’s
no Growlers will be allowed to Jine us : nothin’ but respectable
AFFLICTED WEHICLES, WITH RESPECTABLE ATTIRED DRIVERS.”
THE COMING ELECTION.
In two or three of the Metropolitan School Board
Districts, Ladies—well qualified for the office they are
willing to undertake—are offering themselves for elec-
tion. This is proper Woman’s work—far more suitable
for her than walking the hospitals, or interfering in
borough elections, or addressing excited Female Suffrage
meetings ; and we cordially wish that Marylebone, and
Chelsea, and Greenwich may all return lady representa-
tives. Miss Becker has already been chosen on the New
Board at Manchester, where there would seem to be
ample scope for her energies in providing for the
education of her own sex; for taking p>art in the election
in that city ‘ ‘ there was a considerable number of
women voters, among whom the illiterates were largely
found.” It is too late to inxprove the present generation,
hut the next may be made happier and better, if there
is not too much squabbling over clauses and systems.
Vote for the Ladies, all you noble disciples of Philosopher
Punch.
Distinctive Spelling.
That appliance of a Railway Train which serves the
Engineer to pull it up short is called a Brake. Why ?
Before Railways were, a brake meant fern, brambles, an
instrument for dressing linen or flax, the handle of a
ship’s pump, and a baker’s kneading-trough. None of
these things arrest progress. A contrivance to break
speed, if denominated from its use, should he named a
Break. Orthography, perhaps, is violated to mark a
distinction between the Railway Brake and the Railway
break-down and breakage of bones which the brake too
often proves inadequate to avert.
Escape of a Lunatic.
A plan for the improvement of the harbour and
approaches of Whitby, at a cost of £105,600, has been
approved of by the local authorities, and an early axipli-
cation will be made to Parliament by Mr. Elliot, the
excellent and clear-headed Member for North Durham,
for authority to carry it out. An inmate of Colney
Hatch, allowed to read newspapiers, remarked, on meet-
ing in one of them with the foregoing intelligence, that
the abundance of jet at Whitby would render it an easy
matter to provide the harbour with a jetty.
A POINT OP PRUDENCE.
A Correspondent of the Times, “ T. A.,” relates in what manner
he was once seized and locked up by the Police, and brought before
a Magistrate at Marlborough Street on a false charge of assaulting
them in the execution of their duty. All this annoyance “ T. A.”
says he incurred by simply following a crowd, which crowd Avas
folloAving some policemen who were conveying two drunk and dis-
orderly women to the station-house. In company with a friend he
followed this crowd “ to see what was going on.” Having gratified
his curiosity by seeing the women put inside the station-house, he
encountered a surprise at the hands of a policeman, who rushed out
of it and collared him.
Never follow a crowd merely “ to see what is going on.” That
can generally be seen at a safe distance from the crowd, and is then
always seen to he not worth seeing. What is going on is very
seldom anything new. It has gone on innumerable times before,
and will continue going on repeatedly for ever. A million to one
you will he none the wiser when you shall have seen what is going
on. Almost certainly you will he none the better ; very probably
something, and perhaps a good deal, the worse. You may get
hustled and bonneted, have your clothes torn or your hat beaten in,
or your head punched, or your toes trodden on, or your pocket
picked. All these misfortunes together even may befall you.
Having seen what is going on, say a roiv, yon may find yourself
nailed to describe it, in a witness-box ; first at a police-office, and
then at the Central Criminal Court, or the Middlesex Sessions, or
some other sessions or assizes, at which you will be kept dancing
attendance for a week, having, in the meanwhile, had this nuisance
for some months before you to look forward to, destroying your
j peace of mind. Lastly, you may get yourself collared by the Police,
as “ T. A.” did. By folloAving a crowd to see what is going on, you
- constitute yourself one of the crowd. Joining a lot of foolish peoxile,
; you make yourself like unto them, are then confounded with some-
body else among them, and taken into custody for that other; the
Police pouncing on the wrong fool.
If, with all these consequences before your eyes, and your eyes
open, you deliberately follow a croAvd for the purpose of seeing what
is going on in order to interfere with it possibly for the x>ublic
advantage, or the protection of some fellow-creature or creatures
unknown to you, at the risk of being maltreated, mauled, robbed,
subjiaena’d, or locked up, that is another affair. WeU and good;
then you are no more a fool than a knight-errant was. You go in
for self-sacrifice ; you are taken to a station-house here, but hope
to he rewarded for 'it hereafter. This expectation may sustain you
in the cell you are thrust into among the thieves and drunkards ;
but be quite sure of your motive before you follow a crowd at the
risk of incurring confinement in that society.
The crowd that follows xioliceinen walking off prisoners in charge,
resembles the flock of small birds commonly seen at the tail of a
hawk skimming along with a chicken in its talons. By-and-by the
hawk suddenly turns round, perhaps, and snatches off one of its
troublesome attendants as well. The fate of the little bird in this
case is just such as that which appears to have been experienced by
“ T. A.” Do you wish to avoid it ? Then respect yourself so much
as not to allow a gregarious instinct, like that which actuates the
lower creatures, to impel you to follow a crowd of people for no
wiser purpose than to see what is going on.
Italian Imagery.
Speaking of Count Cavour, the Mayor of Turin said:—
“ Thanks to him the star of Savoy had become the sun of Italy.”
A brilliant metaphor, no doubt, hut of questionable novelty.
Had the orator descended from astronomy to horticulture, and
sun ply remarked that the Cabbage of Savoy had grown into the
full-blown Cauliflower of Italy, the observation would have been
immensely more original, and hardly less poetic.