Punch (65.1873)

July 12, 1873.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

11

ACADEMY PENCILUNGS.

Affable Stranger. “There, Sip., my Work ’ung on the Line again! Sir
Francis can appreciate a Good Thing, Sir.”

Astonished Stranger. “ Eh ? What ? I thought Millais painted this-—
Affable Stranger (contemptuously). “Pooh! ’E may have Painted it, but I
Made the Frame ! ”

SAMUEL BAKER.

Air—“ Betsy Ditto.”

When from his country, far away,
Brave work his time employing,

Bad news of him, the other day,
Came, hope well-nigh destroying.

That he had been, or would he, slain
Said some ill rumours’ maker ;

But now is flashed across the main,

“ All right’s Sir Samuel Baker.”

We get good tidings from Khartoum,
About his expedition—

The vulture’s maw is not his tomb.
He has achieved his mission ;

Whereof, the slave-trade to suppress,
He was the undertaker.

There’s no succeeding like success,
Which crowns Sir Samuel Baker.

If he has pushed unto the Line
The realm of modern Pharaoh,

As is averred, his name will shine
Most brightly at Grand Cairo.

The Khedive ’ll right well repay
The gain of many an acre.

Sing, fellahs, hey for Baker Bey !
Long live Sir Samuel Baker !

NEWDEGATE CONSOLED.

The cause of civil and religious liberty has triumphed
in the rejection of Mr. Newdegate’s Monastic and Con-
ventual Institutions Bill. No law could provide for the
inspection of Monasteries and Convents without compel-
ling inquiry into the affairs of the Agapemone.. And,
whilst we know that, in the abodes of piety which the
object of the Bill proposed by the Member for North
Warwickshire was to explore, the human passions which
elsewhere, unchecked, often render authority cruel, are,
as well as all others, subdued beneath reason and the
higher sentiments, we also know that the suspicions
respecting the treatment Monks and Nuns are liable to,
existing in the popular mind, must necessarily impress
all who harbour them with a horror of the idea of leading
a monastic life, which would be dissipated if Con-
ventual and Monastic Institutions were subject to in-
spection.

THE SHAH’S IMPRESSIONS.

Yes ! Shah-in-Shah in truth I must be—

Or why this fuss of the Feringhee ?

Why all these hosts my steps that crowd,

With bows so low, and cheers so loud ?

If the Inglees Queen, so great among princes,

All this respect for me evinces;

If the Czarovitch, when I appear,

Falls flat, as the flattest of hitter beer :

If all these Wuzeers, and Aghas, and Khans,

For me spend their time and their tomauns ;

Their parks and palaces lay at my feet,

Muster for me their army and fleet,

And their miles upon miles of merchant ships;

If without the ferashes and their whips,

Manchester gathers, and Liverpool runs,

With voices of men and thunder of guns,

To the light of the face of the Shah-in-Shah,

As unto the amber is drawn the straw ;

All this is proof in more than words,

I am King of Kings and Lord of Lords!

They told me that leaving Teheran,

Danger of eating dirt I ran,—

That out of the realms of the Shah-in-Shah
I should find rulers, called Light and Law.

May the graves of their mothers be defiled
That fain with such bosh had their Shah beguiled !
For the more of these Feringhee Kaffirs I ’ve known,
The whiter to me my face has grown.

I’ve seen the land calls the Kusski lord,

And there the rulers are Stick and Sword :

In St. Petersburg, as at Ispahan,

To Czar, as to Shah, what is a man ?

To the land of the Prusski when I came,

The tongue was changed, but the rule the same :
The stars on the coats may be sown more thick,
But the Prusski’s Shah-in-Shah is Stick !

And here in the land of the Inglees
They live and move but the Shah to please.

If my diamonds are as the sun in the skies,
What is the brightness of my eyes ?

As in this land there is no sun,

They make a daylight instead of one : _

The Qtteen from her palace for me retires,

To Teheran binding it with wires

Here’s Sutherland Beg makes his palace mine,

And all but bids skies for me to shine :

At the Crystal Palace, Efeendi Grove
With the rain itself for my pleasure strove :

And out of the water brought the fire
To compass the Shah-in-Shah’s desire.

In a wonderful land of wax I’ve been,

And Jiouris fairer than Heaven have seen :

To the Inglees’ Bank a visit I’ve paid
Where Keuter’s gold for me is laid:

And all that have seen me, and all I have seen,
As dust in the path of the Shah hath been:

And, instead of eating dirt, I see
But Kaffirs eating dirt to me.

REPORT ON ’CHANGE.

“ I feel myself at home in the City,” said His Majesty the Shah.
“ Here, at least, we all worship the Profit.”