DOI issue:
August 1, 1874
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16939#0060
52
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 1, 1874.
IN RETREAT.”
Brown. “Hullo, Jenkins! What’s brought you here? Where’s your Wife? What! have you got a Divorce, or a
Dispensation from the Pope, or what-”
Jenkins {who has enjoyed his Whitebait). “ No, on’y a Plenary Indulgence ! ’’
RULES EOR THE RAIL.
The President of the Board of Trade having1 sent a Circular
to the Railway Companies with reference to making provisions for
the prevention of accidents and the enforcement of punctuality,
especially in connection with the running of excursion trains at this
period of the year, the following regulations will probably come
under consideration.
1. In future one line will be kept (when feasible) for up-trains,
whilst the other is reserved for the use of down-trains. This rule
will not apply to luggage and mineral trains, and trains inaccurately
shunted on to lines on which they (the trains) have no right to travel.
2. Station-masters should never permit a train to start more than
forty minutes late, except when very busy with the Company’s
accounts.
3. That greater punctuality may he secured in the starting and
arrival of trains, Bradshaw's Railway Guide will be published in
future a month after date, so that all inaccuracies may be corrected
before publication.
4. As complaints have been made that signalmen are overworked,
these officers in future will occupy their boxes during the morning
only. During the rest of the day the boxes will be closed. That
the Public may suffer no inconvenience by this arrangement, the
trains will continue running by day and by night as heretofore.
5. A Pointsman will be expected to notice all signals and to obey
them. He will be required, before leaving his post (when on duty),
to order one of his children to look after the points during his
absence. The child he selects for this office should be at least three
years old.
6. The Driver and Stoker in charge of an engine should never
sleep at the same time unless they have taken proper precautions
beforehand to prevent an excessive consumption of the Company’s
fuel.
7. When a luggage train is loading or unloading beside the plat-
form of a station, it will be desirable to recollect the time at which
an express is due, as unnecessary collisions cause much damage to
the rolling stock, and not unfrequently grave inconvenience to First-
Class Passengers.
8. The debris of a train should be removed from the rails before
an express is permitted to enter the tunnel in which an accident has
taken place. As non-compliance with this rule is likely to cause
much delay to the traffic, it should be obeyed when feasible.
9. As Guards of excursion trains have been proved to be useless,
their places will in future be filled by Surgeons. Passengers are
particularly requested to give no fees to the Surgeons accompanying
these trains, as the salaries of these officials will be provided for in
the prices charged to the Public for excursion tickets.
10. In future, contracts from Surgeons and. Chemists will be
accepted on the same terms as those already received from Refresh-
ment Caterers.
11. The Public having frequently experienced inconvenience in
having to leave the Station when requiring medical attention, in
future the Waiting-Rooms of the Third-Class Passengers will be
converted into Surgeries for First-Class Passengers. _ As these
saloons will be fitted with all the latest inventions in surgical
instruments, a small extra charge will be made to passengers using
them.
12. The Directors (in conclusion) fully recognising the responsi-
bility conferred upon them by the Shareholders, if not by the Public,
will expel from their body in future (as a person evidently of |
unsound mind) any Director convicted of travelling by any Railway.
The Cistern Abroad and at Home.
The late Monsignor de Merode, so long the Pope’s left-hand-
man (His Holiness’s right-hand-man being Cardinal Antonelli),
is reported to have left a legacy of 600,000 francs to his sister, the
Princess Della Cisterna. It should not be too hastily inferred
from this lady’s title, that she is a member of an Italian United
Kingdom Alliance. Such a confederacy against personal freedom
would be impossible in a sensible and sober nation.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 1, 1874.
IN RETREAT.”
Brown. “Hullo, Jenkins! What’s brought you here? Where’s your Wife? What! have you got a Divorce, or a
Dispensation from the Pope, or what-”
Jenkins {who has enjoyed his Whitebait). “ No, on’y a Plenary Indulgence ! ’’
RULES EOR THE RAIL.
The President of the Board of Trade having1 sent a Circular
to the Railway Companies with reference to making provisions for
the prevention of accidents and the enforcement of punctuality,
especially in connection with the running of excursion trains at this
period of the year, the following regulations will probably come
under consideration.
1. In future one line will be kept (when feasible) for up-trains,
whilst the other is reserved for the use of down-trains. This rule
will not apply to luggage and mineral trains, and trains inaccurately
shunted on to lines on which they (the trains) have no right to travel.
2. Station-masters should never permit a train to start more than
forty minutes late, except when very busy with the Company’s
accounts.
3. That greater punctuality may he secured in the starting and
arrival of trains, Bradshaw's Railway Guide will be published in
future a month after date, so that all inaccuracies may be corrected
before publication.
4. As complaints have been made that signalmen are overworked,
these officers in future will occupy their boxes during the morning
only. During the rest of the day the boxes will be closed. That
the Public may suffer no inconvenience by this arrangement, the
trains will continue running by day and by night as heretofore.
5. A Pointsman will be expected to notice all signals and to obey
them. He will be required, before leaving his post (when on duty),
to order one of his children to look after the points during his
absence. The child he selects for this office should be at least three
years old.
6. The Driver and Stoker in charge of an engine should never
sleep at the same time unless they have taken proper precautions
beforehand to prevent an excessive consumption of the Company’s
fuel.
7. When a luggage train is loading or unloading beside the plat-
form of a station, it will be desirable to recollect the time at which
an express is due, as unnecessary collisions cause much damage to
the rolling stock, and not unfrequently grave inconvenience to First-
Class Passengers.
8. The debris of a train should be removed from the rails before
an express is permitted to enter the tunnel in which an accident has
taken place. As non-compliance with this rule is likely to cause
much delay to the traffic, it should be obeyed when feasible.
9. As Guards of excursion trains have been proved to be useless,
their places will in future be filled by Surgeons. Passengers are
particularly requested to give no fees to the Surgeons accompanying
these trains, as the salaries of these officials will be provided for in
the prices charged to the Public for excursion tickets.
10. In future, contracts from Surgeons and. Chemists will be
accepted on the same terms as those already received from Refresh-
ment Caterers.
11. The Public having frequently experienced inconvenience in
having to leave the Station when requiring medical attention, in
future the Waiting-Rooms of the Third-Class Passengers will be
converted into Surgeries for First-Class Passengers. _ As these
saloons will be fitted with all the latest inventions in surgical
instruments, a small extra charge will be made to passengers using
them.
12. The Directors (in conclusion) fully recognising the responsi-
bility conferred upon them by the Shareholders, if not by the Public,
will expel from their body in future (as a person evidently of |
unsound mind) any Director convicted of travelling by any Railway.
The Cistern Abroad and at Home.
The late Monsignor de Merode, so long the Pope’s left-hand-
man (His Holiness’s right-hand-man being Cardinal Antonelli),
is reported to have left a legacy of 600,000 francs to his sister, the
Princess Della Cisterna. It should not be too hastily inferred
from this lady’s title, that she is a member of an Italian United
Kingdom Alliance. Such a confederacy against personal freedom
would be impossible in a sensible and sober nation.