Punch: Punch (69.1875)

14

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI. [July 17, 1875.

"WE'LL NOT CARRY COALS."

Shaksbeare : Romeo and Juliet, Act i. Sc. 1.

" 'Not tour Place, but Mart's, to take up the Coals to the Nursery!' You
consequential little monkey ! wflt, tou couldn t give tourself more alrs if you
were a Butler ! "

"Ah! Though I mayn't be a Butler, I 'ave the Fsslin's of one ! "

Or, if our readers prefer JEsopian to military apologue, here it is in that way:—

"A Russian setter was drawing cautiously towards an Affghan He-rat. A British
bull-dog, on the other side of the Hindoo Koosh, lay watching his approaches. ' "What shall
I do ? ' he growled at last, looking to his masters.

" ' Bark,' said one.

" ' Bite,' said another.

" ' Lie still in the sun, and do nothing,' said a third.

" The bull-dog's tail quivered—he snarled uneasily, wrinkling his muzzle as if he longed
to show his teeth; but, finally, accustomed to wait for tbe word of command, and not
receiving it, laid his heavy head on his fore-paws, and resumed his attitude of unquiet
observation.

" Moral.—Activity is not always successful; inactivity may sometimes be masterly. Both
are to be judged by the issue. But the most masterly inactivity cannot err in keeping its
powder dry."

Mr. Whalley, attempting to fix the meet for a Grand Jesuit Hunt, was cruelly Counted
Out before the smallest of the small hours!

Wednesday.—"Was given to Mr. Trevelyan's Household Franchise (Counties) Bill.
Mr. Bright supported it by a petition from sixty thousand members and friends of the
Agricultural Labourers' Union. A vote for every householder in county, as in town, say
these petitioners, is the keystone of the Arch.

Clearly the time must come, whether the Commons like it or not. But, as clearly, the
time is not yet.

The House will some day have to face its dose of County, as it has drained its draught of
Borough, residuum. But both the Country and the Commons know that the decoction is
likelier to damage than strengthen the Constitution, unless the physic is very carefully
re-distributed.

This is the sum and substance of the Marquis or Hartington's reason for refraining
from voting. If the House had been as free to follow its judgment as the Leader of Her
Majesty's Opposition, it would have done as he did. As it was, it rejected the Bill by
268 to 166.

Thursday {Lords).—The Friendly Societies Bill (boneless, so no wonder the House makes

no bones of it) passed Second Reading with
a protest from Lord Aberdare and Lord
Morley against the farce of a mock audit,
and the want of a real one.

{Commons.) Reynolds painted Garrick
between Tragedy and Comedy. "Why were
not Thursday's anti-Papal interpellations
in time for Punch to paint his pendant of
'' Disraeli between Waddy and Whalley "
—Waddy wants to know whether the Go-
vernment means to protect the Bench and
the Public Offices from the Pore. " Just
let the Pope put his finger in our pie,"
says Mr. Disraeli, " and we will take it
into serious consideration."

Whalley wants to know what more
information Government requires as to
Jesuit designs than Cardinal Manning's
declaration that their mission is to put
England's imperial power under the Papal
toe?

Mr. Disraeli said if he wanted any in-
formation he knew where to go for it.

Very neat. But query the taste, or use,
of so snubbing the irrepressible ?

The Premier submitted to the country
the Prince op "Wales's India Bill—a very
moderate one—under £150,000 in all:
£52,000 for the voyage out and home;
£30,000 for rites of hospitality in India,
to come out of India's pocket (a pity); and
£60,000 personal expenses.

Is this enough to do the thing hand-
somely ? _ Better not do it at all than do
it shabbily. You can't ask twice. Mac-
donald, Peter Taylor, and Burt declared
such votes provoked more disloyalty among
"Working-men than all the agents of Re-
publicanism. Do England's Working-men
speak through these three mouths ?

We should be sorry to believe it, for the
sake of the Working-men. If it be true,
nothing can better show that our masters
still want teaching.

Mr. Hanrury hoped we were doing our
duty—that is, our best—for the suppression
of the East African Slave-trade. Mr.
Bourke declared we were, and described
what this doing amounted to. Mr. Forster
thought our action satisfactory; and Mr.
Punch is content to follow Mr. Forster's
lead in this matter, into which Mr. Forster
throws a hereditary heart.

Another of the many Naval engagements
of the Session. Brassey against more
monster iron-clads, seeing that guns will
keep getting bigger, while torpedoes threaten
to blow both big guns and big ships into
smithereens.

Big Ben tolled his usual funeral-knell,
over sea-service, ships, sailors, England,
—not quite sure if he should not add, the
Sea itself, — all going post haste to the
Devil!

Mr. E. J. Reed would not sit there and
hear big iron ships— his children par excel-
lence— run down in this brassy manner.

Mr. Goschen didn't see why we should
not have a few big ships, if only we had
a good many small ones.

" Just my idea! " said Me. Ward-Hunt.

" Great and small make up a wall." The
proverb holds, afloat as well as ashore, of
wooden or iron walls as of stone ones.

Words after "Walt. Whitman.

Mr. Henry Ward Beecher,
What an eloquent preacher !
What a high moral teacher!
In his conduct what feature
Bears out the impeacher
Of that screamer and screecher,— _
That sensational, gushing, emotional
creature ?