Punch: Punch (69.1875)

July 17, 1875.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

15

A DILEMMA.

Party {overcome by the heat of the Weather). " Ho? ! Cab ! "
Driver, "All Eight, Sir, if you'll just Walk to the Gate."
Party. " 0, Bother! "Walking to 'Gate !"

Driver. " "Well, Sib, if tou can't get through, I don't see how I can

get oveb ! "

THE ROMANESQUE REVIVAL.

Having been obliged, by tbe decision of the Court of Arches, to put out
their lights and put off their motley, the clerical performers of St. Alban's,
Holborn, on Sunday last, proceeded only half-way with their usual imitation.
It terminated, according to the Post, with a short discourse, preached by the
R,ev. J. Stanton. After that, the audience went to attend the conclusion of
their Sunday's entertainment at another place:—

"The whole congregation, numbering several hundred persons, the great majority of
•whom were females, then proceeded through Holborn, over the Viaduct, and by Newgate
Street and Cheapside, to the Church of St. Vedast, Foster Lane."

The Bishop of London has issued an inhibition forbidding the St. Alban's
Clergy to preach in any Church but their own. Instead, therefore, of the
Reverend Gentleman above-named, who had been expected to fill the pulpit—

" In the Church of St. Vedast the sermon was preached by the Eector, who said there
had never been a revival of religion which had not its confessors, and the revival of these
latter days must, he supposed, have its confessors, if not its martyrs."

The revival of religion is one thing; the " revival of these latter days " is
another. This revival—the Ritualist dramatic, musical, and spectacular
burlesque—the Bishop of London is trying to suppress—it being out of the
jurisdiction of the Lobd Chambeblain. At some Houses—apparently at St.
Vedast's—it is given out for repetition till further notice ; indeed, in spite of
episcopal notice—the part not only of Confessor, but also of Father Confessor,
by Anglican Divines. It is quite certain that they will not, any of them, be
called upon to play the Martyr, and not at all likely that, if they were, a
single one of them would undertake that arduous character. Bitualist mimes
may be ridiculed, but will not be roasted.

. The St. Vedast's and St. Alban's Revivalists have no connection whatever
with Moody and Sanket. Except that of rivalry.

The Most Continuous Break "We Know.—Our Housemaid's.

JOHN'S ANSWER TO WILLIAM'S
QUESTION!

To all whom it may concern.

"Is the Church of England worth preserving?"—Mr.
Gladstone.

"What is the Church ? Is it a place

For holy antic and grimace ?

A sort of Sunday Opera-Bouffe,

Performed beneath a Gothic roof ?

Parade, with Priest for fugleman ?

Burlesque, upon the latest plan,

Of things the most sublime and serious,

Where mummery, veiling the mysterious,

Yields mumbo-motley as result

Of search for an " aesthetic " cult ?

Is this the Church, you mean ? If so,
John's Answer's an emphatic " No ! "

Is it a stage where bumptious boys
May wrangle over gauds and toys,
Fuming whene'er some scrap of flummery
Is stript from their too florid mummery ?
May vent on Luther, or on Tait,
Ecclesiastic Billingsgate P—
Much like an angry housemaid, chidden
For finery that is forbidden ;
Who strikes an attitude as martyr
Because her Sunday rig's not smarter.—
Is this the Church you mean ? If so,
John's Answer is a ready " No ! "

Is it a " scene " where cleric pride

May be supremely glorified ;

And every pretty priestling hope

To play the part of petty Pope,—

Shining in foolish virgins' eyes,

With sacerdotal sanctities;

i And gently dazzling, now and then,

"Some mooney and molluscous men;

Where, gaily decked in stolen plumes,

'Midst pompous rites and fragrant fumes,

The emptiest daw may masque and mum

Ecclesiastic Fe-Faw-Fum ?

Is this poor thing your " Church " ? If so
John's Answer's an explosive—" No .'"

Is it a word of Life, or Death ?

A Sacerdotal Shibboleth ?

A proud abstraction vague and vast

Veiling the tyranny of Caste ?

A verbal Fetish, shaped to rule

The flexile fancy of the fool ?

A web of forms, traditions, creeds,

Stretched 'twixt the soul and the soul's needs ?
Is Church the "Priest's Preserve " '? If so,
John's Answer is—" Preserve it! No ! "

INTERESTING IMMIGRATION.

At a late examination of the National School at
Inverary, the Inspector having desired all of the name
of Campbell to hold up their hands, not one of the
children responded!

Can it be that, since the MacCallum More—always
abreast, if not ahead, of the times, whether in Science,
matrimonial alliances, or scorn of snobbish prejudice—
put three MacCallums the Less into business, all the
Campbells are coming south for situations in one of the
firms of Lobd A., B., C. (as the case may be) Campbell
& Co. ? If so, may they find, what they have a patro-
nymic right to claim, a fair field (campo hello) and lots
of favour. If Clansmen are like Chief, they will deserve
both.

Rotten Bow on the Embankment.'

A biveb Row,

A new Horse Show,
A trot on Thames's dry way;

A ladies' ride— _

And we '11 bestride
No more " a silent highway."