Punch (69.1875)

October 2, 1875.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 127

"VICISSITUDES OF FAMILIES."

Ragged Party. " Ah ! I should never a* been bedooced like this 'ere if
it hadn't been for the Lawyers !"

Raggeder Ditto. " And look at me ! All through my Title-Debds bein'
made into Banjos an' such like ! "Why, I spent a small fortun' adver-
tisin' for one Tambourine as was supposed to a' been made out o' my
Grandmother's Marriage-Settlement I !!"

LAWSON'S LAST.

Sir "Wilfrid Lawson is a merry man. Indeed the adjective and the sub-
stantive might be very fitly conjoined, and the Honourable Baronet called a
Merryman ; a Mr. Merryman, but for the handle to his name. Say, as a
Frenchman would, Sir Merryman. The Member for Carlisle has constituted
himself a sort of Clown in the Temperance Ring. He may be regarded as the
United Kingdom Alliance Yorich, whose jibes and flashes of merriment, in
Liquor Law Debates and at Total Abstinence Tea-parties, are wont to set the
tables in a roar. Such a Yorick, it may be suggested, would not have done in
Denmark. We don't know that. Our Jester's jocosity is a great marvel you
may suppose—he drinks no wine. Doesn't he ? See The Draper's report of an
entertainment lately given by a " Mr. George Moore, in his Cumberland
Home," whereat—

" A Champagne luncheon was served in a large marquee.

" Sir Wilfrid Lawson, M.P., presided ; Mr. Moore sat on his right.

" Sir Wilfrid Lawson proceeded to say—4 Gentlemen, I have to propose the health of
our worthy host. . . . And ... let us pay honour to our worthy host—the kind, the
hospitable, the generous, the popular Mr. Moore ; and I call on you now to drink his very
good health with all the honours.'

" The toast was drunk with great enthusiasm."

Drunk in what? Champagne, doubtless, by the majority of the drinkers.
But by Sir Wilfrid Lawson ? As President of a Champagne lunch party, one
would think, in Champagne too. At any rate, he not only countenanced people
in drinking Champagne, but also warmly exhorted them to drink it in drinking
a health which he well knew very few would drink in water. The President
of the United Kingdom Alliance, in presiding at a Champagne lunch, proposing
a toast to be drunk with all the honours in an intoxicating liquor, and pre-
sumably drinking it himself, has joked a joke immensely surpassing the most
brilliant witticism he ever uttered; and the best of it is that the joker of this
high joke is the Mover of the Permissive Bill in the House of Commons, and the
Permissive Law Orator, who, liquoring up in Champagne, goes about clamouring
for leave to be enabled " to rob a poor man of his beer."

ADDENDUM TO "YANKEE DOODLE.

Yankee doodle, doodle, doo,

Glory to the cross keys,
Scarlet Hat, Sirree, to you,
First of the M'Closkeys !
Pio Nono showed more sense

Than bespeaks a noodle,
Biretting of your Eminence—
And sin gin' Yankee doodle.

Yankee doodle, doodle, doo,

Yankee doodle dorum,
Yankee doodle slick right thn ugh,
Per scBcula sceculorum.

Mac is now a Papal Prince.

The Pope, by his creation,
A sense intended to evince

That we 're a glorious nation.
Although we do not, in the main,

Belong to his communion,
He valleys neither France nor Spain

A cent above our Union.

Yankee doodle. &c.

Long years may Pius live to see,

But, sooner or else later,
'Tis like St. Peter's Chair will be

To fill, in course of Natur.
The Cardinals thereto will call

Some Cardinal or other ;
'Taint no ways sure their choice won't 'VI

Upon their Yankee brother.

Yankee doodle, &•■•

The Prisoner of the Vatican

Remains in self seclusion,
Because he is Eu-ro-pean,

And cherishes delusion.
A Yankee Pope would in Old E,ome

Ne'er stay and sulk so frantic ;
He'd shift the Holy See to home,

Make Popedom transatlantic.

Yankee doodle, &c.

The Pope of Rome, United States,

By our free Constitution,
Might curse whatever Prince he hat<..~,

Nor fear a persecution.
Anathema by name might fling,

Accordin' to his adviser,
At Victor, the " Sub-Alpine King,"

Bismarck, or William Kaiser.

Yankee doodle, &c.

Rome Number Two Rome Number One—

Jeerusalem the Golden!—
Would flog, as in the cent'ry gone

New England flogged the Old 'un.
I reckon old St. Peter's Chair,

Or what them Romans call so,
We'd ship to home from over there,

And all its fixins also.

Yankee doodle, &c.

And Pilgrims then with Peter's pence,

Which his Successor collars,
Would shortly to arrive commence,

And bring no end of dollars.
Our Pontiff he'd be, I expect,

A valuable attraction,
And every soul of every sect

Would sing with satisfaction

Yankee doodle, &c.

So in the room of that old Hoss,

Which might be soon vacated,
M'Closkey may be made the Boss

That's to be venerated.
I reckon now he's got the Hat,

That he may come to wear a
Considerable more than that,—

The ginooine Tiara 1

Yankee doodle, &c.

vol. lxix.

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