Punch (69.1875)

December 4, 1875.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

227

THE ETERNAL JACK-IN-THE-BOX.

" The Lord Mayor [of Dublin] observed that Mr. Sullivan
was an ' eternal Jack-in-the-Box.' "

A-r-ratt, thin, Master Sullivan, what have you done,
Such a wonderful wicked name to have won,

The peaceful atmosphere troubling ?
Now, Gramaehree ! (whatever that means)
There's a gentleman tired of such noisy scenes,

And that's the Lord Mayor of Dublin.

Dublin's a city of quiet and peace,

Where they easily might disestablish police,

Since nobody cares for a shindy;
But when an O'Connell Committee meets,
There's a general row you may hear in the streets,

Though the weather is wild and windy.

Up they jump, one after one,

Each eager to share in the fighting fun,

And the row becomes—supernal!
But Sullivan's worst of the party there;
He's up each minute, till called by the Mayor

"A Jack-in-the-Box eternal."

In the days of long-vanished Irish war,
Punch had an anagram, Daniel R.,

For Ireland, devoted to Daniel :
But times have changed, and old King Dan
Is to our mere mutinous Irishman

As lordly mastiff to spaniel.

He had a voice that the world must hear,
A lion-like head, with vision clear,

And a good strong brain for kernel:
Often wrong, he was seldom weak;
His courage never came down to " cheek,"

Like a Jack-in-the-Box eternal.

Ah, never mind! To the Jack-in-the-Box,
Who against the roof his thick skull knocks,

Punch grants absolution plenary.
What Saxon dare say that it is not right
To have whiskey galore and a good free fight

In honour of Dan's Centenary ?

BLANK FIRING.

Ancient Sportsman {whose Sight is not what it used to be). " Pick 'em up, James,
pick 'em up I "Why don't you pick 'em up ?"

Veteran Keeper. " 'Cause there bean't any down, my Lord I "

A QUESTION FOR MR. CROSS.

The subjoined questions and answers afford a specimen of rural
and juvenile intelligence :—

" ' How old are you?' 'I don't know.'—' Can you read ?' ' Yes, a little
bit.'—' Can you write ?' ' No.'—' Can you reckon ?' ' No.'—' How many
are twice two ?' ' Seven' {laughter).—' Try again, two and two ?' ' Eight'
{renewed laughter).—'Do you know how many commandments there are?'
'No.'—'Do you know the ninth commandment?' 'No.'—'Did you ever
hear anything about bearing false witness ?' ' No.'—' Ever before the Magis-
trates ?' "Ees.'—'Did they ask you to kiss a book ?' "Ees.'—' Do you
know why you kissed it ?' ' No.'—' Did the Magistrates tell you that it was
a testament, and you called God to witness about speaking the truth ?' ' No.'"

The examiner in the foregoing catechism was a Mr. Thomas
Blake, of Ross, in Herefordshire. He cited it at a public meeting
there, as illustrating, in particular, the moral and intellectual
fitness to give evidence on oath, of Samuel Budge, a little clown,
ten years of age, the principal witness against Emily Davies, a
child of thirteen, sentenced, on the 17th of September last, by the
Ross Magistrates, to fourteen days' imprisonment in the County
Gaol, and thereafter to four years' detention in a Reformatory, for
stealing a few plums. Master Rudge was an accomplice in this
extensive robbery, and turned Queen's evidence.

Mr. Blake also read, as below, part of a letter from Me. Minett,
Clerk to the Magistrates, who pronounced the lenient sentence which
occasioned the above-mentioned meeting, held to denounce it and
get it rescinded :—

"You have been condemning the Justices upon very meagre information,
being information given in open court. The Justices have other information,
and upon that information they have acted."

m We have lately seen a general fusion of Law and Equity. A par-
ticular instance of it is afforded by the Ross Magistrates in dealing
with the case of Emily Davies, only Law prevails; especially in
respect of the evidence, oral and hearsay, this heard out of Court,
on which they convicted her. The evidence last referred to—their
" other information "—appears, from the report of the meeting on

The Cheapest Mode of Living.—On Flats.

her behalf, to have been false information, affecting the character of
her parents ; a sort of information which, in fact, was defamation.
Is it so ? This, surely, is a question for the Home Secretary to
consider ; for awful as the crime is of which Emily Davies was con-
victed, and imperfectly as it may have been expiated by only four-
teen days' imprisonment in gaol, yet, if her parents are really
respectable people, is it quite fair to them, to say nothing of her,
that she should not be forthwith replaced under their care, instead
of being kept four years longer away from home shut up in a
Reformatory ? Perhaps Mr. Cross will deign to answer this crucial
question. _

CRIMINAL COURT COSTUME.

Says, very properly, the reporter for the Standard, describing the
scene last week at the Central Criminal Court:—

" Ghacun a son gout: but that taste can hardly be deemed praiseworthy
which prompts elegantly-dressed, and some young and charming Ladies to
crowd and hustle at the Old Bailey for seats on such an occasion as the trial
for one of the most repulsive murder cases of the present century."

With all our boasted progress of feminine enlightenment, one
might have fancied that Young Ladies would have nowadays
known better than to scramble for admission to a place where a
revolting case of murder was on trial. One would think that
elegant dresses might be displayed with far more fitness in the pr -
cincts of St. James's Court than in the Court of Newgate. Shoa d
the taste increase for attending courts of justice when murder cases
are on trial, we may expect that the Court milliners will take
advantage of it. Elegant dresses will be advertised for such occa-
sions, and pretty names will be invented for criminal costumes.
Robes a la Calcraft will be considered de rigueur. Young Ladies
will array themselves in shining satin dresses made after the
manner of that worn by Mrs. Manning on the memorable morning
of her execution ; with, perhaps, white cotton head-dresses, formed
in Newgate fashion, and round each snowy throat a necklace,
knotted d la mode Jack Ketch.

vol. lxlx.

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