Punch (69.1875)

Decembek

"SMALL MERCIES."

First Jolly Angler {with empty Creel). " Well, we've had a very pleasant
Day ! "What a delightful Pursuit it is ! "

Second Ditto (with ditto). " Glorious i i shan't forget that Nibble we

had just after lunch, as long as i live ! "

Both. " Ah ! !"

EVENHA.NDED FLOGGING.

On the morning of November 24th, a little boy, Frederick JonN "Whiteah,
aged twelve, stole two watches and three gold chains out of a private post-bag
lying unlocked at the Winchester post-office. For this offence he was tried at
Winchester Assizes. He had given one of the watches and some pieces of the
watch-chains to Jacob Whitear and Ann Smith, described as of "mature
age," who were put on trial, together with him, for receiving the stolen goods.
They were acquitted ; but—

"The boy, Frederick John "Wkiteau, who had pleaded guilty, was then sentenced
to three months' imprisonment, twenty strokes of a birch rod, and six years in a re-
formatory."

The effect of twenty strokes from a birch rod, laid on by an ordinarily vigorous
turnkey, will probably be such as, through a tender skin, to impress a3 tender
a mind with some idea of the value of property, the lack of which induced
that young Robin Hood, little Whitear, to give away what he had stolen,
and perhaps mainly contributed to make him steal it. Not that there is any
ground whatever for the slightest suggestion that the scourging to which that
infant criminal has been sentenced is at all too severe. 0 dear, no ! Perish the
very ghost of an idea so sentimental! But if there is no reason to deprecate the
infliction of twenty strokes of a birch rod on a small boy for a crime of whose
gravity he was clearly insensible, is there not every reason to desire that an
adult thief who commits an equal offence well knowing what he is about, shall
be liable to receive at least a proportionally good flogging with the cat-o'-nine-
w€? Why, m the scale of punishment for theft, is torture to be limited to
children ? Grown-up rascals are at least as able to bear it; and grant, there-
fore, that mere thieves, if they had their deserts, would not escape whipping,
does not the conclusion that brutal violence committed in beating and kicking
women and other defenceless victims, should subject every ruffian guilty of it
to the same punishment, go without talk ?

LONDON CHARIVARI. 251

RECOLLECTIONS OE THE STOCK
EXCHANGE.

(Vide Mr. Tennyson's " Recollections of the Arabian

Nights:')

When the breeze of a golden hope blew free,
In the time of my legal infancy,
The tide of men flowed on with me,
Onward into an Eastern clime,
"Where bulls and bears and stags do range
Their paradise, the Stock_ Exchange—

0 exquisite the aureate air!
Stunning the champagne-luncheons there !

I oft was bull, I oft was bear,
For it was in the glorious time
Of sumptuous Abdul Aziz.

At night my hansom bore me West,
And as it whirled through Temple Bar
A votary I to Fashion's star,

By Poole unto perfection drest:
With youthful wealth no girl finds faults,
All doors to me were open wide,

1 was the hero of the waltz,
And anywhere could choose a bride :

In sooth it was a goodly time,
For it was in the golden prime
Of gorgeous Abdul Aziz.

That Sultan, fond of bird and beast,
Sent men-of-war to search for them,
Bought many a fair Circassian gem

To shine in his Seraglio—
He was the Monarch of the East;
He set his palace walls aglow
With pictures of prodigious price ;
He spent his money in a trice :

Ah, this was just the goodliest time
Of all, the very golden prime
Of lavish Abdul Aziz.

But ah, 'twas all too good to last,
The Sultan soon this lesson learnt,
That he who spendeth money fast

"Will some time get his fingers burnt.
So he proposed half interest,
For all the mighty sum of cash
Obtained from lenders green and rash :
But will he ever pay the rest ?

Alack- a-day ! how sad the time !

For in his impecunious prime
Is reckless Abdul Aziz.

A sorrow in my bosom lurks,

My diamond rings I wear no more,—

My Uncle, perhaps, might tell you why.
Remote from Fashion's haunts am I,

And, till I reach the Stygian shore,

I will not speculate in Turks.

But if, in Charon's fatal boat,

Sultan and I are both afloat,

I '11 throw him over, bearing the blame,
So much I hate the horrid name
Of cheating Abdul Aziz !

A Good Move.—Mobilisation.

SOMETHING LIKE AN EAR.
" Eutuned in the nose full feateously."—Chaucer.

The New York Sun, Nov. 17, in a report of its in -
terviewer's colloquy with the famous Pianist Von Bulow,
makes that tuneful Musical Doctor say, "Whenlwas
in England the pronunciation there was so unmusical as
to be very distasteful to me, and I gave up attempting
to learn the language. Since coming to this country
I see its beauties, and am learning_ it." Is this pretty
little compliment to the pronunciation of our American
cousins due to the Doctor or his interviewer ? If to the
former, it shows a highly intelligent appreciation of our
cousin's little susceptibilities, and proves that what-
ever other musicians may think, Von Bulow, at least,
has no objection to the tone of the American organ—z'.e.,
the Nasal.

vol. lxix.

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