Punch (73.1877)

66 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 18, 1877.

A NEW PROFESSION.

Very Small Boy (in answer to Inquisitive Lady). "Off, Ted's going into the Church, and Tom's going into the Army, and
Malcolm's going into the Navy, and Jack's going into the Civil Service, and Bob's going into Medicine, and Arthur's
going into Law, and Gcrs's going into Business, and I'm going into Knickerbockers!"

ECHO'S ANSWERS

To a Cockney Inquirer who consults her concerning the inevitable
Annual " Outing'" and its probable issues.

Inquirer. What subject sets me worrying and doubting ?
Echo. " Outing."

Inquirer. My Wife suggests for family health's improving ?-
Echo. Roving.

Inquirer. What's the first requisite for taking pleasure ?
Echo. Leisure.
Inquirer. The second (for a slave to matrimony) ?
Echo. Money.

Inquirer. You say that Woman of all founts of mischief—

Echo. Is chief.

Inquirer. What is this close agreement of my women ?

Echo. Omen.

Inquirer. I fear for me they'll prove a deal too clever ?

Echo. Ever.

Inquirer. What is the manner of my buxom Marx ?

Echo. Airy.

Inquirer. And what's her goal in every hint and notion ?
Echo. Ocean.

Inquirer. How recommends she Ramsgate, shrimpy, sandy ?
Echo. 'Andy.
Inquirer. Whereas / hold it at this season torrid P—
Echo. 'Orrid!

Inquirer. And hint, with a vain view to scare or stop her ?—

Echo. »Opver !

Inquirer. (Meaning the Pulex.) Answers she politely.

Echo. Lightly.

Inquirer. How then am I inclined to view the mater f

Echo. Hate her.

Inquirer. What feel I when she hints at sea-side clothing ?

Echo. Loathing.

Inquirer. Mention of what makes all my family scoffers ?

Echo. Coffers.

Inquirer. Then if I storm, what word breaks sequent stillness ?
Echo. Illness.'

Inquirer. What feels a man when women 'gin to blabber ?
Echo. Lubber.

Inquirer. What is the show of patience that may follow P
Echo. Hollow!

Inquirer. What would the sex when it assumes that virtue ?
Echo. Hurt you.

Inquirer. What's the result of halting and misgiving ?
Echo. Giving.

Inquirer. What is man's share anent this yearly yearning ?
Echo. Earning.

Inquirer. What's the chief issue of this seaward flowing ?
Echo. Oiving.

Inquirer. How long before I'm free of tradesmen's pages ?
Echo. Ages!

AN UNCOMMON COWARD.

The Standard's Correspondent with the Turkish Army in
Armenia, in temporary default, perhaps, of news more distinctly
warlike, transmits a panegyric upon Turks; in the course thereof
supplying the subjoined information:—

"My new Servant was very willing, and soon showed that he was honest,
but at the same time childish, awkward, and cowardly. The Turks love
their children too much, and spoil them; they do not keep them at work,
and treat them even after their marriage as little children for whom father
and mother must work, and whose faults must be forgiven. Of course, theae
faults assume a very grave character in some children; but my Servant is
too cowardly to do an act of violence."

He, therefore, could never have had a hand in "Bulgarian
Atrocities." He would never have behaved like a brave Bashi-
Bazouk. But what other Servant, except some Irish Gentleman's,
could be described by his Master as too much of a coward to commit
a dastardly act ? _

" Good Templars."—For opening their Gardens to poor children.