Punch (73.1877)

240 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [N<*™«*b 24, 1877.

THE MYCOPHAGISTS MENU.

oadstools at table ! What
a chance ! Mb.. Smel-
fungus says he should
have liked dining with
the Woolhope Club of
Fungologists at Hereford
the other day on the oc-
casion of their Annual
Meeting and Feast of
Fungi. An account of
this banquet appeared in
the Gardener's Magazine,
together with a copy of a
menu, bordered with
illustrations, humorously
designed and described
by that eminent Fungolo-
gist and Fungophagist,
Mr. Worthington G.
Smith, Author of Mush-
rooms and l^oadstools, in
which work Mr. Smel-
fungus would recommend
perusal of Mr. Smith's
account of the symptoms
and sensations he expe-
rienced on having once
experimentally eaten a
portion of the "Poison-
ous Forest Mushroom,"
Agaricus [Entoloma) fer-
tilis. Mr. Smith is evi-
dently the man to extract
s> fun from fungi.

However, in its speciali-
ties the Fungophagists' menu rather disappointed Mr. Smelfungus.
It lacked variety. Of two potages, one was a Potage du Coprinus
comatus, the maned mushroom; sapid, no doubt. The dishes in-
cluded a Saltni du Lactarius deliciosus, the orange-milk fungus, a
so-called toadstool, but delicious indeed. There was also a pre-
paration, the " Crater ellus conucopy-oides" which Mr. Smelfungus
takes to be an alias or nickname for the Cantharellus cibarius,
or chanterelle, a yellow, wineglass-shaped toadstool, growing under
beech-trees, and said by Dr. Bad ham to have been wont to be dressed
on state occasions at the Freemasons' Tavern—an illustration of the
Masonic principle, that " Nothing's too good to be well understood
by a free and an accepted Mason." The only other dish in the fungus
line was a " Dindon rati aux Truffes ;" but truffles are matters of
course, and they are not toadstools. The ordinary mushroom,
Agaricus campestris, struck Mr. Smelfungus as conspicuous by its
absence.

Where, he ' asks, were the generality of the Autumnal fungi ?
Where was the delicate Agaricus procerus, the parasol fungus, with
its long snaky-marked stem and cap tufted with scales ? Where
the Ag. nebularis—the "new cheese agaric"—very much "the
cheese," indeed, nicely fried ? Where the dainty Ag. prunulus that
smells like new, meal, and the Ag. heterophyllus—tasting, when
grilled, to some palates like crawfish ? The Boleti, the Poly-
pori, the Clavarice, were none of them represented ? One remark-
able omission was that of the Ag. oreades, the Fairy Ring fungus,
commonly called, by the few who do not call it a 'toadstool, the
champignon. Fungology and folk-lore are something akin, and
the Fungologists should have bethought themselves of "the good
people."

However, it is not in the nature of Mr. Smelfungus to find fault
with anything or anybody, and he supposes that few of the usual
fungi of autumn were this year forthcoming. This may have been
a bad fungus season. But he sadly fears the dearth of fungi may be
owing to another cause. He now sees far fewer of them than he used
to find during his walks and rambles in the good old times before
parks and pastures generally were drained. Mr. Smelfungtjs is
afraid that drainage, as a form of that progress day by day depriving
him of nearly all he most cherishes, is progressively improving
fungi, both esculent and poisonous, off the face of the earth.

Ileal Resignation.

After many rumours to the same effect, the De Broglie Ministry
has at last actually resigned en bloe. Let us write its epitaph in the
language of the Prize Ring that used to be, which, in its combined
character of Combatant and Defunct, may fairly lend its language
to a Ministry de combat that is no more—

"Gone Down to avoid Punishment."

PATRIOTS AND PATRIOTS.

(" Under which King, Bezonian ?")

" Cosmopolitan critics, men who are the friends of every country, save their
own—(Cheers and laughter)—have denounced this policy as a selfish policy.
My Lord Mayor, it is as selfish as patriotism. (Cheers.) "

Lord Beaconsfield at the Mansion House.

Mr. Aldebman Sludge, loquitur .- —

'Far! 'ear!!! My notions to a hinch! I thought I should a'
split,

A-cheering of the Swordsman smart as dealt that artful 'it.
One of the genuine Dizzy thrusts ; and don't it sting 'em 'ome ?
And won't it tingle in their ears for many a day to come ?

" Cosmopolitan Critics." Ah—h—h—! It slips into one's mind,
Like luscious turtle down one's throat, but leaves its twang behind.
" Friends of all Countries save their own." Just so! The very
thing

I've wanted 'eaps and 'eaps of times to my tongue's-end to bring.

"What's come to people / can't think. I recollect the time
When patriotism was esteemed the height o' the sublime ;
But now that Gladstone stumps the land to deafen people's ears
About—not British Interests—but Bulgarian furrineers !

Ben had ' em nicely on the hip. But Bob—my son—he says,
As ' twas but a false definition, based on a clap-trap phrase—•
" At that game Ben's a dab," he says.—I sometimes fear that lad,
What with Institootions, books, and things, is a-goin' to the bad.—

Says Bor,, " The patriot who will know no country but his own,
No other interest to be served, or trumpet to be blown—
The man who'd block thegame all round to win his private trick,
Is a greedy dog in the manger, who deserves a general kick."

By Jove, it makes my blood run cold to hear that youngster talk!
He ups and says, " It's chaps who can't win fair that try to baulk ;
True blues pull straight and pull their best, and take their honest
chance,

And neither whine at the finish nor bluster in advance."

He says, "A chap may love his land, yet love it in such sort,
As patriots of the pothouse stamp would make their mock and
sport."

Says he would have her great as rich, magnanimous as strong,
And rather vanquished for the right, than victor for the wrong.

He says, " Though Cad or Cynic may snigger or protest,
In Old England's day of trial, we shall see who loves her best,"
Declares he'd scorn to bounce for her, or dodge the fair and true;
But for her, in an honest cause, he, would fight till all was blue.

He says Beaconsfield's good at "phrases"—whatever theymay be—
And swears "bunkum" stands for "patriotism" on the books of
the C. C.

But that " right all round will yet be found the patriot's proper
call,

In spite of blague at the Mansion House, or bounce at the Music
Hall."

The lad's a fool! Give me the cool Conservative style of thing,
And Dizzy's venomous little pints that always stick and sting;
To Calipash and Calipee they lend a pungent zest.
So here's Old England, right or wrong, and furriners be-blest I

A Scare in Guildhall.

Consternation prevails among the Aldermen who have passed
the Chair. Sis John Bennett is lecturing on "London's Lord
Mayors." There is great anxiety to know whether he will bring
his remarks down to the present day. The Law Officers of the
Corporation have been consulted, but are of opinion that the Court
of Aldermen have no power to " veto " the lecture. The Recorder
has been requested to attend and take notes.

the afe for a gale to whistle.

" Ay wauldn 0,

Waukin still and wearie ! "

Robert Burns.

punch's definitions.

" Same Old Game "—Toujours perdrix.
The best Byron Memorial—Our Boys.
Art Chimney Pots—Minion's Tiles.