DOI Heft:
March 23, 1878
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17732#0128
March 23, 1878.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 125
"As stout Hobatitjs held the Bridge,
In the brave days of old."
Lord E. Fitzmaueice and Sir W. Habcourt might chaff—"It is
their nature to "—but the speeches of the three gave a comforting
character to the Conference discussion of Thursday, which it would
not have derived from the more common-place assurances of Sir
Stafford Nobthcote, that we were going into Congress with high
hearts, clean hands, minds made up, and six millions at our back
... in money if not in men. "What is the " frankness of Bismarck
and the finesse of Gortschakoff " to that ?
Sir Stafford Northcote accepted Sir Robert Peel's speech as a
proof of confidence in the Government. What a blessing is the
power of " making the best of it" ! It was hardly fair, when he was
so pleasant to Sir Robert, to be so nasty with Lord Robebt. As
regards the two Robebts' opinion of the Government, it really seems
to Punch a case of " six of one and half-a-dozen of the other."
Friday {Lords.)—That extra-gigantic swindle—even among the
giant brood of eleemosynary swindles—St. Catherine's Hospital,
was brought on the tapis. Government rules for management ot
its revenues, the Lord Chancellor says, are being prepared. It is
time they were. A long talk on Desertion, and the feasibility of
branding Deserters again with a " D," as of old. These vagabonds
ought to be marked men. It seems it can be done without giving
pain; and John Bull has a right to have a stamp put on the
Queen's bad shillings—as the Bank marks light sovereigns.
Is the Dead Lock in Victoria—where the Council has stopped the
supplies, and the Government has thrown all the public machinery
out of gear,—picked yet ? The Colonial Office is not quite sure
(says Lord Cadogan), but rather thinks so. But telegrams are such
difficult reading. Lord Carnarvon thinks, as far as he can under-
stand the telegram—and we don't see who is likely to carry under-
standing farther—that a compromise has been arrived at. But see
Commons, where Sir M. Hicks Beach denied the receipt of any tele-
gram bearing out this hopeful view. " Who shall decide, when
Houses disagree?"—at Home or in Victoria.
Sib Staeeobd Northcote declined to say if Russia had declined
to admit John Bull's little partner Miss Hellas to the Conference
Dance.
At last, Mr. Smith was allowed to introduce the Naval Estimates,
like their brethren of the War Office, peaceful, normal, and unam-
bitious, more in tune, seemingly, with the piping times of peace
than this "roaring moon of war." Mr. Smith has all the men he
wants, and all the money—and all the ships—built or building.
And altogether, poor Waed Hunt's "phantom Navy "seems to
have grown into a reality, substantial enough to satisfy the practical
mind and business-like calculations of our Westminster Smith,
who now plays the part of Vulcan to Bbitannia's Ironclads.
With the exception of two votes, the whole of the Naval Estimates
were swallowed—nearly eleven millions—in the lump !
Who says the House can't do business ? Punch had Benny-Dizzy,
the sword-swallower, last week. He might have headed his Essence
this week with St. Stephen bolting the Naval Estimates, instead of
Mr. Gladstone thinking over a new Parliamentary-coat-fit.
FLORAS ANATHEMA.
Bluff March, may your Boreas blow cusses,
Confounding the legions of low cusses,
Who swarm in the Parks
For political larks,
And tread down my tulips and crocusses!
Rude Roughs! of respect have they got any ?
Of patriot feeling they've not any,
Of taste they've no tittle,
And care just as little,
For Britain's true blessings as botany.
My turf they would ruin by stumping on,
My blossoms they glory in jumping on ;
Each cad, coster, clown,
May Aquarius drown—
The brutes are fit only for pumping on I
What Peace and War Demonstrations come to.
(From the Agony Column of the " Standard")
DARING ROBBERY.—A Van-load of EGGS, about Ten Thousand,
was TAKEN from outside a Shop in Old Street, St. Luke's, on Saturday
evening at Seven o'clock. The horse and empty van were found in Dalston
Lane. A liberal REWARD -will be given to any person giving information
to, &c.
St. Luke's !—Eggs!—Hyde Park Demonstration coming off I The
connection is obvious. Ten thousand Eggs—equivalent to how many .
arguments! What will not Patriotism on the rampage dare ! Gospel in Foreign Parts."
NEW RULES AND REGULATIONS FOR HYDE PARK.
Ducking in the Serpentine"can only be
allowed between the hours of two and
five in the afternoon.
Dead cats are not to be admitted except
when required as the missiles of a national
demonstration.
Pickpockets are requested not to tread
upon the flower-beds except in dis-
charge of their professional duties.
Should carriage-horses be fright-
ened into bolting by the enthusiasm
of a patriotic meeting, the Public
are requested to prevent the ani-
mals from breaking down or
through the Park railings.
During the absence of the Police,
habitual criminals, and other per-
sons in official relation with the
Force, will be held responsible for
the preservation of order.
To save the Park-keepers unne-
cessary trouble, persons employed
in crushing hats and destroying
coats are requested not to leave the
products of their industry behind
them.
Copies of the Rules to be'ob-
_ served for the revival of persons
apparently killed may be obtained at the Receiving-House of the
Royal Humane Society.
Persons walking in the Park on Sundays are advised to carry life-
preservers.
The Police and the_ Military have received strict orders to preserve
a conditional neutrality during the holding of patriotic meetings in
the Park. They have, however, been instructed to prevent the
crowd from setting fire to the Powder Magazine.
Persons intending to hold a public meeting are requested to give
four-and-twenty hours' notice, so that the Coroner may be in attend-
ance.
The Public are requested not to commit manslaughter on the grass,
but to confine themselves to the gravel-paths for that purpose.
As the Park is intended for the recreation of the people, no
respectable person •will be allowed to walk in it on a Sunday.
By Order of the Home-Office. (Signed) Shallow,
Justice of the Peace.
Daring Defiance.
"Mr. Edmund Salt has consented to preside at the Fifty-First Anniver-
sary Festival of the Licensed Victuallers' Asylum."
What do Licensed Victuallers fear ?
With Permissive Bills dark'ning the air,
They not only put Salt in their beer,
But even put Salt in their chair !
Appropriate.
The Grand Duke, when he makes his complimentary entry into
Stamboul, after passing by the Valley of Sweet Waters, is to
call on the Sultan at the ■ Yield-his Kiosk." Could the line of
visit be better chosen ?
Self-Appraised.
Sir Robert's judgment,—who '11 assail it ?
No one. Valeat quantum valet.
He may say, " For what I am worth,
Take me, England !—Tarn worth quam tvorth ! "
horatian suggestion foe the coming congress.
" Laudabunt alii olaram Rhodon et Mitylenen."
Veby freely translated, "Some of us will cry up clear roads (to
Black and Red Seas) and acquisition of Mitylene."
the eight man in the eight place.
A Christian Correspondent suggests a new Office for the Emperor
of Russia :—" President of the Society for the Propagation of the
"As stout Hobatitjs held the Bridge,
In the brave days of old."
Lord E. Fitzmaueice and Sir W. Habcourt might chaff—"It is
their nature to "—but the speeches of the three gave a comforting
character to the Conference discussion of Thursday, which it would
not have derived from the more common-place assurances of Sir
Stafford Nobthcote, that we were going into Congress with high
hearts, clean hands, minds made up, and six millions at our back
... in money if not in men. "What is the " frankness of Bismarck
and the finesse of Gortschakoff " to that ?
Sir Stafford Northcote accepted Sir Robert Peel's speech as a
proof of confidence in the Government. What a blessing is the
power of " making the best of it" ! It was hardly fair, when he was
so pleasant to Sir Robert, to be so nasty with Lord Robebt. As
regards the two Robebts' opinion of the Government, it really seems
to Punch a case of " six of one and half-a-dozen of the other."
Friday {Lords.)—That extra-gigantic swindle—even among the
giant brood of eleemosynary swindles—St. Catherine's Hospital,
was brought on the tapis. Government rules for management ot
its revenues, the Lord Chancellor says, are being prepared. It is
time they were. A long talk on Desertion, and the feasibility of
branding Deserters again with a " D," as of old. These vagabonds
ought to be marked men. It seems it can be done without giving
pain; and John Bull has a right to have a stamp put on the
Queen's bad shillings—as the Bank marks light sovereigns.
Is the Dead Lock in Victoria—where the Council has stopped the
supplies, and the Government has thrown all the public machinery
out of gear,—picked yet ? The Colonial Office is not quite sure
(says Lord Cadogan), but rather thinks so. But telegrams are such
difficult reading. Lord Carnarvon thinks, as far as he can under-
stand the telegram—and we don't see who is likely to carry under-
standing farther—that a compromise has been arrived at. But see
Commons, where Sir M. Hicks Beach denied the receipt of any tele-
gram bearing out this hopeful view. " Who shall decide, when
Houses disagree?"—at Home or in Victoria.
Sib Staeeobd Northcote declined to say if Russia had declined
to admit John Bull's little partner Miss Hellas to the Conference
Dance.
At last, Mr. Smith was allowed to introduce the Naval Estimates,
like their brethren of the War Office, peaceful, normal, and unam-
bitious, more in tune, seemingly, with the piping times of peace
than this "roaring moon of war." Mr. Smith has all the men he
wants, and all the money—and all the ships—built or building.
And altogether, poor Waed Hunt's "phantom Navy "seems to
have grown into a reality, substantial enough to satisfy the practical
mind and business-like calculations of our Westminster Smith,
who now plays the part of Vulcan to Bbitannia's Ironclads.
With the exception of two votes, the whole of the Naval Estimates
were swallowed—nearly eleven millions—in the lump !
Who says the House can't do business ? Punch had Benny-Dizzy,
the sword-swallower, last week. He might have headed his Essence
this week with St. Stephen bolting the Naval Estimates, instead of
Mr. Gladstone thinking over a new Parliamentary-coat-fit.
FLORAS ANATHEMA.
Bluff March, may your Boreas blow cusses,
Confounding the legions of low cusses,
Who swarm in the Parks
For political larks,
And tread down my tulips and crocusses!
Rude Roughs! of respect have they got any ?
Of patriot feeling they've not any,
Of taste they've no tittle,
And care just as little,
For Britain's true blessings as botany.
My turf they would ruin by stumping on,
My blossoms they glory in jumping on ;
Each cad, coster, clown,
May Aquarius drown—
The brutes are fit only for pumping on I
What Peace and War Demonstrations come to.
(From the Agony Column of the " Standard")
DARING ROBBERY.—A Van-load of EGGS, about Ten Thousand,
was TAKEN from outside a Shop in Old Street, St. Luke's, on Saturday
evening at Seven o'clock. The horse and empty van were found in Dalston
Lane. A liberal REWARD -will be given to any person giving information
to, &c.
St. Luke's !—Eggs!—Hyde Park Demonstration coming off I The
connection is obvious. Ten thousand Eggs—equivalent to how many .
arguments! What will not Patriotism on the rampage dare ! Gospel in Foreign Parts."
NEW RULES AND REGULATIONS FOR HYDE PARK.
Ducking in the Serpentine"can only be
allowed between the hours of two and
five in the afternoon.
Dead cats are not to be admitted except
when required as the missiles of a national
demonstration.
Pickpockets are requested not to tread
upon the flower-beds except in dis-
charge of their professional duties.
Should carriage-horses be fright-
ened into bolting by the enthusiasm
of a patriotic meeting, the Public
are requested to prevent the ani-
mals from breaking down or
through the Park railings.
During the absence of the Police,
habitual criminals, and other per-
sons in official relation with the
Force, will be held responsible for
the preservation of order.
To save the Park-keepers unne-
cessary trouble, persons employed
in crushing hats and destroying
coats are requested not to leave the
products of their industry behind
them.
Copies of the Rules to be'ob-
_ served for the revival of persons
apparently killed may be obtained at the Receiving-House of the
Royal Humane Society.
Persons walking in the Park on Sundays are advised to carry life-
preservers.
The Police and the_ Military have received strict orders to preserve
a conditional neutrality during the holding of patriotic meetings in
the Park. They have, however, been instructed to prevent the
crowd from setting fire to the Powder Magazine.
Persons intending to hold a public meeting are requested to give
four-and-twenty hours' notice, so that the Coroner may be in attend-
ance.
The Public are requested not to commit manslaughter on the grass,
but to confine themselves to the gravel-paths for that purpose.
As the Park is intended for the recreation of the people, no
respectable person •will be allowed to walk in it on a Sunday.
By Order of the Home-Office. (Signed) Shallow,
Justice of the Peace.
Daring Defiance.
"Mr. Edmund Salt has consented to preside at the Fifty-First Anniver-
sary Festival of the Licensed Victuallers' Asylum."
What do Licensed Victuallers fear ?
With Permissive Bills dark'ning the air,
They not only put Salt in their beer,
But even put Salt in their chair !
Appropriate.
The Grand Duke, when he makes his complimentary entry into
Stamboul, after passing by the Valley of Sweet Waters, is to
call on the Sultan at the ■ Yield-his Kiosk." Could the line of
visit be better chosen ?
Self-Appraised.
Sir Robert's judgment,—who '11 assail it ?
No one. Valeat quantum valet.
He may say, " For what I am worth,
Take me, England !—Tarn worth quam tvorth ! "
horatian suggestion foe the coming congress.
" Laudabunt alii olaram Rhodon et Mitylenen."
Veby freely translated, "Some of us will cry up clear roads (to
Black and Red Seas) and acquisition of Mitylene."
the eight man in the eight place.
A Christian Correspondent suggests a new Office for the Emperor
of Russia :—" President of the Society for the Propagation of the