Punch (79.1880)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[January 1, 1881.

“ Griffin’s valuation,” growled the peculiar animal on the hearthrug. *

“ You don’t say so ! ” replied the Sage, calculating. “ Threes into fifteen—why, bless me—that’s two pence half-
penny a volume ! What a coincidence ! ”

The Laureate stepped forwards. “ Ballads and other Poems," he said, disclosing the familiar green cloth binding,
“just a few ; and, no doubt you will have seen most of them before.”

“And none the less welcome on that account,” rejoined the Sage brightly; and then, as if an afterthought had occurred
to him, he added, “ No Stage-plays among 'em, I hope ? ”

The Poet hesitated and coloured. “ No, not among those," he said. “ But—I have something in hand,” he
continued, dropping his voice with confidential modesty.

“ So I heard,” responded the Sage. “ And if you ’ll follow my advice, you ’ll stick to——•

“ But there!—I won’t say anything;

I ’ll only hope a let will fall
At last—somehow—to every stall,

And all the business take a spring ! ”

He shook the Ambitious Minstrel kindly by the hand ; and then he turned to the Premier. “ And now, what have
you got for me ? ” he asked, with evident interest.

The distinguished Statesman drew a roll of foolscap from his pocket. “ This is the draft of our great Irish Measure,”
he said. “ Shall I read it to you ? ”

He began to unfasten it. There was an uncomfortable look on the face of everyone. Even the Griffin winced. The
Diplomatic Sage interposed.

“ Shan’t we have enough of politics the week after next? ” he suggested, with a dignified wink.

“ Well then, I might read a portion perhaps ? ” continued the Premier, still inspecting the string.

“ What! and give us a half measure ? That ’ll never do ! ” said the Earl.

«It’s an excellent document,” continued the Premier.

“ I’m quite sure of that,” answered the Sage. “ But,” he added, reflectively, “ anyhow, suppose we keep it for the
Sixth ? ” As he spoke, he approached a jewelled bureau of remarkable workmanship.

“ Very well; for the Sixth ! ” echoed the Premier, refastening his papers. “ The date on which we shall meet our
friends! ”

“ And our enemies ! ” threw in the Earl.

“ Come, come, Gentlemen ! ” cried the Sage, who had taken from the jewelled bureau some costly article that he was
endeavouring to conceal. “ Come, come ! We ’re all friends here. And this is Christmas-time. So now prepare yourselves;
for you haven’t yet had my present. I’ve something for you, the very sight of which will make you give three cheers on the
spot, and shake hands all round. Now then ! ”

There was a moment of intense excitement. And then with a nimble leap, Mr. Punch sprang on to the table, and,
standing on one leg, held out his gift.

“ Take it! ” he said. “ It is

IMtnte JSebentii-piie!