DOI issue:
August 21, 1880
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17764#0081
August 21, 1880.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
7d
A COLLISION.
Baker (with indignation). “ Now, then ! who are you A-shovin’ of ?
WHAT YOU ’VE DONE TO MY BASKET ! ”
Sweep (with scorn). “ Your Basket !—Look at my Bag ! ”
See
EGOES OE THE WEEK.
(jFrom, the Hysterical London News.)
My esteemed colleague of the Smoltely-on-Sewer Observer is entirely in
error in stating that Oliver Cromwell ever wore spectacles, and that, from
those aids to vision being tri-lateral and of an azure hue, he was known among
his Presbyterian Soldiery, now as “ True Blue,” and now as “ Goggles.” Nothing
whatever of the kind. I knew ‘ ‘ Old Noll ” very well; that is to say, I remember
my grandmother telling me that she could remember a Punch and Judy man
who had once been in possession of the skull of the illustrious Protector (whom
Shenstone justly calls “ the Greatest Prince who ever reigned in England”),
and that, from the appearance of the superciliary ridge, the external and
internal orbitary prominences, and the nasal frontal suture, he was certain that
Cromwell never wore spectacles.
I wonder whether the bantering expression, “Nolle prosequi,” (used when
you decline to go any further with a wearisome companion) refers in any way
to Cromwell having been exceptionally active in the prosecution of Charles
the First. And, touching etymons, it might be as well to consult Junius,
Skinner, Worcester, Walker, Webster (0, rare Ben Webster!), Menage,
Phillips, Wedgwood, and Professor Skeat as to whether there be any
foundation for the popular belief that “Old Noll” should properly be spelt
“Knoll,” the word having a sly reference to the “ eminence ” attained by
the victor of Naseby.
Mem.—There are to my knowledge (I had almost said “Nol’’-ledge) eleven
heads of Old Noll extant: one at Knole Park ; another in the Hoodlum Museum,
Kearney Street, San Francisco ; a third at Chandernagore ; a fourth belonging
to the Time-Keeper of the Straits of Malacca ; a fifth in the Bodleian Library
(this is from {he Collection of old Nollekens the Sculptor) ; a sixth at Madame
Tussaud’s (only the proprietors are not aware of the fact, and exhibit the
skull as that of Henri Quatre) ; a seventh in the Kiatigorod Museum at
Moscow ; an eighth in the Balearic Isles (it is that of Oliver when he was at
school) ; a ninth in the Sultan’s private cabinet of caimes, coupons, and crania
at- Constantinople ; a tenth in the Trippenhuis Gallery at Amsterdam ; and the
eleventh in the possession of your numble servant. Not any are genuine
except mine.
A fair Correspondent writes me that through the
munificence of Sir John Tenpenny Naylor, Bart., M.P.,
the charming little town of East Grinnington has been
endowed with a Free Library, of which a special section
has been apportioned to Lady readers; and, as a member
of the Library Committee she asks me for a succinct list
of useful and. entertaining works suitable for “general
reading,” say of girl students, between the ages of nine
and nineteen. I have the greatest pleasure in complying
with her request. Here is the list:—
Higgins’s Anacalypsis; Horne Tooke's Diversions of
Parley; Boppsius On Tetrahedral Decadendra; Quacken-
eosch On the Equivocal Quincunx ; Sir 11. Phillips's Essays
on the Proximate Mechanical Causes of the General Phenomena
of the Universe; Spinosa On Diseases of the Spine ; Albertus
Magnus’ Life of General Grant; Professor Oxley’s Letters
of Ole Bull, The Zendavtsta; Dr. Butterfield’s Memoirs of
Tosti ; The Fall of Wolsey ; a Historic Study, by Sir Coutts
Lindsay; Crystallography for Kittens, by the Hon. Mrs. Grey
Malkin; Bayle’s Critical Dictionary ; What's in a Name?
a Novel, by Miss Louisa Lawn Tennison ; Jornovius's
Theory of the Spheroid Bulb ; ^Elecampadius’s Greek Boots;
The Tatty Koran ; Bacon’s Minor Essays, comprising “Rasher
Thoughts,” “Up the Rind,” and the “ Perfect Care ; ” Mouldy-
mugg’s Thoughts on Suicide and Meditations on Homoeopathy ;
the Belle's Assemblee for the year 1813; Grinderani’s Organic
Remains ; and Buff’s Guide to the Turf.
I shall he happy to reply either in this column or
directly to my correspondent “ Oogipoff,” if he will
favour me with some more definite address than “ Bed-
ford Level, Yale of White Horse;” but I must respect-
fully request that neither he, nor the Gentleman from
Hanwell (who bit my parlour-maid in the arm last
Wednesday), nor the Lady who claims to he the Rightful
Heir to “England’s Thorny Throne” (see her thirty-
seventh letter to me), will in future repair to my private
residence at seven a.m. for the purpose of throwing
mud, eggs, gingerbeer bottles, and other missiles at my
dining-room windows, because I have been unable to
discover whether it was George Selwyn, Machiavelli,
or the Arabian physician Avicenna, who made use of
the remarkable expression, “ That accounts for the milk
in the cocoa-nut; but not for the hair outside.”
I have often thought that remark anent the milk in
the cocoa-nut worthy to make a sixth with the famous
Five Aphorisms of Hippocrates. I wonder whether I
could repeat them, now, without book. I remember,
more than seven-and-forty years ago, learning them
(the aphorisms, not the years) at my good old Nurse
Muffin’s knee. Let me see—
Ho Bios bracheus.
Re de techne viakre.
Ho de kairos okus.
He depcira splialere.
He de krusis galape.
Life is short—when it is fast.
Art is long—when. Mr. E. Bukne-
Jones’s joung maidens wind down
“ Golden Stairs ”
The occasion fleeting—when the train
only stops five minutes for refresh-
ment at Mughy Junction.
Experience fallacious—when for the
seventh time, you have bought a
painted sparrow for a canary.
Judgment difficult—in the Long Vaca-
tion.
In the matter of Alamode Beef. “Toopsy” tells me
that it is made from chamois leather, marine glue, carda-
moms, and Dr. Gillyflower’s Patent Food. “X. Y. Z.”
remarks sarcastically that the merest schoolboy ought to
know that alamode is a careful preparation of couscous-
sou, pilaf polpetti, ravioli, stebi, salmagundi, ollapodrida,
clam-chowder, and that the peculiar flavour is imparted
to it by means of the inspissated juice of the manioc
(Tolderollolidis vulgaris), and “ cherrybungo.” But
what is “cherrybungo ” F I have searched Schreyelius,
Liddell and Scott, Littre and Walker continued by
Hooker (a most judicious lexicographer, who also wrote
on Ecclesiastical Politeness), but can find nothing about
“ cherrybungo.” Will Professor Skeat oblige P
Mem.:—“ Brumbrum ” says that Hogarth was very
fond of alamode, and that be can remember the period
when Mr. Worth of Paris kept an alamode-shop.
P. S.—There will not be any “ Egoes” next week, as I
am going to Honolulu, by the way of the Gulf of Bothnia,
and the Bight of Benin. Dear old Bight of Benin !— Vos
valete et plaudite. The Electric Lighter,
(G. A. S. superseded.)
Yol. 79.
3—2
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
7d
A COLLISION.
Baker (with indignation). “ Now, then ! who are you A-shovin’ of ?
WHAT YOU ’VE DONE TO MY BASKET ! ”
Sweep (with scorn). “ Your Basket !—Look at my Bag ! ”
See
EGOES OE THE WEEK.
(jFrom, the Hysterical London News.)
My esteemed colleague of the Smoltely-on-Sewer Observer is entirely in
error in stating that Oliver Cromwell ever wore spectacles, and that, from
those aids to vision being tri-lateral and of an azure hue, he was known among
his Presbyterian Soldiery, now as “ True Blue,” and now as “ Goggles.” Nothing
whatever of the kind. I knew ‘ ‘ Old Noll ” very well; that is to say, I remember
my grandmother telling me that she could remember a Punch and Judy man
who had once been in possession of the skull of the illustrious Protector (whom
Shenstone justly calls “ the Greatest Prince who ever reigned in England”),
and that, from the appearance of the superciliary ridge, the external and
internal orbitary prominences, and the nasal frontal suture, he was certain that
Cromwell never wore spectacles.
I wonder whether the bantering expression, “Nolle prosequi,” (used when
you decline to go any further with a wearisome companion) refers in any way
to Cromwell having been exceptionally active in the prosecution of Charles
the First. And, touching etymons, it might be as well to consult Junius,
Skinner, Worcester, Walker, Webster (0, rare Ben Webster!), Menage,
Phillips, Wedgwood, and Professor Skeat as to whether there be any
foundation for the popular belief that “Old Noll” should properly be spelt
“Knoll,” the word having a sly reference to the “ eminence ” attained by
the victor of Naseby.
Mem.—There are to my knowledge (I had almost said “Nol’’-ledge) eleven
heads of Old Noll extant: one at Knole Park ; another in the Hoodlum Museum,
Kearney Street, San Francisco ; a third at Chandernagore ; a fourth belonging
to the Time-Keeper of the Straits of Malacca ; a fifth in the Bodleian Library
(this is from {he Collection of old Nollekens the Sculptor) ; a sixth at Madame
Tussaud’s (only the proprietors are not aware of the fact, and exhibit the
skull as that of Henri Quatre) ; a seventh in the Kiatigorod Museum at
Moscow ; an eighth in the Balearic Isles (it is that of Oliver when he was at
school) ; a ninth in the Sultan’s private cabinet of caimes, coupons, and crania
at- Constantinople ; a tenth in the Trippenhuis Gallery at Amsterdam ; and the
eleventh in the possession of your numble servant. Not any are genuine
except mine.
A fair Correspondent writes me that through the
munificence of Sir John Tenpenny Naylor, Bart., M.P.,
the charming little town of East Grinnington has been
endowed with a Free Library, of which a special section
has been apportioned to Lady readers; and, as a member
of the Library Committee she asks me for a succinct list
of useful and. entertaining works suitable for “general
reading,” say of girl students, between the ages of nine
and nineteen. I have the greatest pleasure in complying
with her request. Here is the list:—
Higgins’s Anacalypsis; Horne Tooke's Diversions of
Parley; Boppsius On Tetrahedral Decadendra; Quacken-
eosch On the Equivocal Quincunx ; Sir 11. Phillips's Essays
on the Proximate Mechanical Causes of the General Phenomena
of the Universe; Spinosa On Diseases of the Spine ; Albertus
Magnus’ Life of General Grant; Professor Oxley’s Letters
of Ole Bull, The Zendavtsta; Dr. Butterfield’s Memoirs of
Tosti ; The Fall of Wolsey ; a Historic Study, by Sir Coutts
Lindsay; Crystallography for Kittens, by the Hon. Mrs. Grey
Malkin; Bayle’s Critical Dictionary ; What's in a Name?
a Novel, by Miss Louisa Lawn Tennison ; Jornovius's
Theory of the Spheroid Bulb ; ^Elecampadius’s Greek Boots;
The Tatty Koran ; Bacon’s Minor Essays, comprising “Rasher
Thoughts,” “Up the Rind,” and the “ Perfect Care ; ” Mouldy-
mugg’s Thoughts on Suicide and Meditations on Homoeopathy ;
the Belle's Assemblee for the year 1813; Grinderani’s Organic
Remains ; and Buff’s Guide to the Turf.
I shall he happy to reply either in this column or
directly to my correspondent “ Oogipoff,” if he will
favour me with some more definite address than “ Bed-
ford Level, Yale of White Horse;” but I must respect-
fully request that neither he, nor the Gentleman from
Hanwell (who bit my parlour-maid in the arm last
Wednesday), nor the Lady who claims to he the Rightful
Heir to “England’s Thorny Throne” (see her thirty-
seventh letter to me), will in future repair to my private
residence at seven a.m. for the purpose of throwing
mud, eggs, gingerbeer bottles, and other missiles at my
dining-room windows, because I have been unable to
discover whether it was George Selwyn, Machiavelli,
or the Arabian physician Avicenna, who made use of
the remarkable expression, “ That accounts for the milk
in the cocoa-nut; but not for the hair outside.”
I have often thought that remark anent the milk in
the cocoa-nut worthy to make a sixth with the famous
Five Aphorisms of Hippocrates. I wonder whether I
could repeat them, now, without book. I remember,
more than seven-and-forty years ago, learning them
(the aphorisms, not the years) at my good old Nurse
Muffin’s knee. Let me see—
Ho Bios bracheus.
Re de techne viakre.
Ho de kairos okus.
He depcira splialere.
He de krusis galape.
Life is short—when it is fast.
Art is long—when. Mr. E. Bukne-
Jones’s joung maidens wind down
“ Golden Stairs ”
The occasion fleeting—when the train
only stops five minutes for refresh-
ment at Mughy Junction.
Experience fallacious—when for the
seventh time, you have bought a
painted sparrow for a canary.
Judgment difficult—in the Long Vaca-
tion.
In the matter of Alamode Beef. “Toopsy” tells me
that it is made from chamois leather, marine glue, carda-
moms, and Dr. Gillyflower’s Patent Food. “X. Y. Z.”
remarks sarcastically that the merest schoolboy ought to
know that alamode is a careful preparation of couscous-
sou, pilaf polpetti, ravioli, stebi, salmagundi, ollapodrida,
clam-chowder, and that the peculiar flavour is imparted
to it by means of the inspissated juice of the manioc
(Tolderollolidis vulgaris), and “ cherrybungo.” But
what is “cherrybungo ” F I have searched Schreyelius,
Liddell and Scott, Littre and Walker continued by
Hooker (a most judicious lexicographer, who also wrote
on Ecclesiastical Politeness), but can find nothing about
“ cherrybungo.” Will Professor Skeat oblige P
Mem.:—“ Brumbrum ” says that Hogarth was very
fond of alamode, and that be can remember the period
when Mr. Worth of Paris kept an alamode-shop.
P. S.—There will not be any “ Egoes” next week, as I
am going to Honolulu, by the way of the Gulf of Bothnia,
and the Bight of Benin. Dear old Bight of Benin !— Vos
valete et plaudite. The Electric Lighter,
(G. A. S. superseded.)
Yol. 79.
3—2