Punch (79.1880)

July 24, 1880.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

33

PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Friday, July 9 [Lords).—On the Motion of Lord Spencer, a
Scotch Educational Endowments Bill having been read a Second
Time, the Elementary (Three It’s and Extras) Education Bill, not
specifically Scotch, was read a Third Time, and passed. So likewise
were the Union Assessment (Single Parishes) Bill, and the County
Bridges Bill; as ratepayers will probably soon discover.

(Commons, Morning.)— Mr. Gladstone having, to a question
douching the Cabinet’s Eastern policy, courteously asked, by Sir H.
D. Wolff, made a civil reply, sufficient to keep., as it were, the
wolf from the door, the House plunged into Committee on the Com-
pensation for Disturbance (or C. D. Irish) Bill; and in a debate on
the question that the Preamble be Postponed, floundered about all
the sitting, so as to make no progress at all, but stick in the mud.
In the course of this controversy, Mr. Gladstone besought the
-Committee not to persevere in obstruction, and warned them that
waste of time would not induce the Government to withdraw mea-
sures they thought necessary to be passed for their country’s good.
In the course of the continued altercation which followed this
menace concerning the moors, Mr. Big gar—for once in the way-
happened to give the Chairman occasion to call him to order. Further
cackle was subsequently adjourned until

Evening, when a Resolution by Mr. Roundell, proposing the
abolition of the remaining restrictions by which the headships and
fellowships at Oxford and Cambridge are limited to parsons, but
saving the case of the Deanery of Christchurch, was moved, and,
after a discussion at this stage of the Session of course perfectly
futile, in which, nevertheless, several honourable Members took
part, necessarily withdrawn. Then the House went to work again
in Committee on the C. D. (Ireland) Bill, contrived at last to agree
■on the Motion to Postpone the Preamble, and adjourned.

Monday [Lords).—Census (England and Wales) Bill for 1881 laid
•on the table by Lord Enfield, and read a First Time. This Census
is not to vex or puzzle people by requiring them to return their
religious opinions.

Lord Oranmore dilated on Hibernian Atrocities, chronically cha-
racteristic of “the first flower of the earth and first gem of the
sea ; ” otherwise once poetically described as

“ The land of misrule, and half-hanging, and flame.’’

Ho noble Lord materially contradicted Lord Oranmore’s state-
ments ; whence it would appear that Ireland only wants Home-Rule
to become quite Another Place—not the Lower House of Parliament,
but one still nether—paved, as the saw says, with good intentions.

Gas and. Water Orders Confirmation Bill read a Third Time. Ho,
Stupid, this measure did not emanate from Convocation.

[Commons.)—After interrogations and responses, Mr. Gladstone
moved a Resolution providing for despatch of business during the
remainder of the Session. Hereupon business was immediately
arrested by a loDg wrangle, in the course of which Mr. Cowen well
but vainly observed that they had too many Members, too much
work, and too much talk.

Too many cooks proverbially spoil the broth out of Parliament;
in it hinder the concoction of any broth whatever.

Mr. Gladstone’s Motion having been at length agreed to, he then
gave notice of an Amendment, designed, on second thoughts, to
supersede Mr. Law's, of the Irish C. D. Bill. Then the House went
into Committee of Supply, and, finally, further considered the
Relief of Distress (Ireland) Bill in Committee, and took such time in
so doing that they did not rise to go home till nearly a quarter to five
in the morning.

Tuesday [Lords).—The Lord Chancellor presented and got read
a First Time a Lord Byron Indemnity Bill, to exempt (the contem-
porary) Lord Byron from the consequences of having, by an over-
sight, taken his seat and voted before having sworn his oath and
subscribed the roll in this present Parliament. Further proceedings
perfunctory.

(Commons, Morning.)—Irish C. D. Bill again ; Committee thereon.
In moving that the Chairman report progress, Lord R. Churchill
called on Government for some explanation of Mr. Gladstone’s
most recent Amendment, which he called a third or fourth change of
front. Answer from Mr. Forster in general terms. Particulars
reserved.

Controversy followed an Amendment moved by Lord G. Hamilton,
as to whether, in practice, “ ejectments” necessarily meant “ evic-
tions,” which, if they dia, it would be sharp practice no doubt.
Fact affirmed and denied right and left.

Mr. Gibson moved an Amendment confining the Bill to tenants
under £15. Mr. Gladstone would take £30. Mr. Gibson said that
wouldn’t do; and then another change of front was charged upon
the Ministry—this time by Mr. O'Connor, Mr. P. Martin, and Mr.
Parnell. Further consideration of Clauses adjourned till evening
sitting.

[Evening.)—Count-out; and Punch reports “ Progress.”

Wednesday [Commons).—Debate on Mr. Forster’s Irish Bill con-
tinued for nearly six hours, partly squandered upon Mr. Gibson’s
Amendment confining the operation of the Bill to holdings under
£15, instead of £30 as proposed by its author and his Chief; partly
upon the question whether or no the Chairman had power to silence
Mr. Mac Iver (Conservative), who would persist, although thrice
called to order, in making irrelevant remarks on Emigration, a
subject said to be his “fad.” Question ultimately referred to Mr.
Speaker, who ruled in favour of Mr. Mac Iver and against Mr.
Chairman. Thereupon Mr. Chairman gracefully invited Mr. Mac
Iver to continue his remarks, but he forbore, and left off boring—
for a time.

Oddly enough, the Chairman, having called Mr. Mac Iver to
order for the third time, then called on Mr. Parnell, who had risen
at the same moment with the other hon. Member, to speak. Was
not this trying to cast out Conservative Obstructive by Home-Ruler
Obstructive ?

The latter, in possession of the House, forthwith moved to report
Progress, which was ironical of him; and he created laughter by
declaring that, though he thought the Bill ought not to pass, he was
not willing to take the responsibility, of defeating it at the present
moment. He was good enough to signify that he would not press
his Motion; but discussion thereof was nevertheless continued by
Mr. Biggar and The O’Donoghue ; also by Colonel Tottenham.
To enable Progress to be reported, Lord Elcho likewise spoke, and
twitted the Premier with having initiated.Communistic legislation.

Mr. Mac Iver then remounted his Emigration hobby, and took
another ride amid much interruption.

After an invective against Irish landlords from Mr. Timothy Sul-
livan, the Motion to report Progress having been withdrawn, Mr.
Gibson’s figure was negatived, and expenditure of breath on Mr.
Forster’s adjourned.

Sir Eardley Wilmot’s Atheists Disqualification Bill broke down
on a point of form pointed out by Mr. Labouchere. Here ended
the Government’s Wednesday sitting.

Thursday [Lords).—The Census Bill was read a Second Time, and
the Census (Ireland) Bill, moved also by Lord Enfield, a First Time.
In reply to suggestions from Lord Fortescue, for dispatch of com-
pilation, and for the addition of sanitary inquiries, the noble mover
said that, both for economy and expedition, the Local Government
Board thought it best to restrict the returns to the heads enumerated
in the Bill.

We occasionally hear talk of “ cooking returns.” There is no fear
that those of the Census will be cooked at all; but some apprehension
exists that, as before and as usual, officials will take a long time in
doing them.

[Commons.)—The Marquis of Hartington informed Mr. J. K.
Cross that the excess of the Afghan War-costs will be so enormous
that the Government have concluded that a solid and substantial
part of them ought to be borne by this country ; that is to say, those
of its inhabitants who pay the taxes. But there is no occasion for
alarm or hurry; and the Government, before they propose any

Vol. 79.

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