DOI issue:
July 31, 1880
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17764#0056
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 31, 1880.
NEMESIS.
Wife {he had brought her a little present). “ No, William, I will not have
HIM BROUGHT UP ON THE ‘ BOTTLE ’ 1 LOOK AT YOUR OWN NOSE, DEAR 1 ”
him and them should experience prove his calculations wrong—instead of
confirming the conclusions of his consummate “ chalk-head.”
Mr. Sullivan moved an Amendment- providing that the valuation of public-
houses in Ireland shall be Griffiths’s valuation, but withdrew it on Mr.
Gladstone’s undertaking to provide that the valuation shall not exceed 20 per
cent, valuation. Who’s Griffiths F As an actuary and accountant, evidently
in Irish estimation at least, a safe man.
Adjournment of sitting, formal business despatched, and House adjourned.
Thursday {Lords).—In Committee on the Census Bill, an Amendment, pro-
posed by Lord Fortescue, to provide for the local collection of sanitary infor-
mation was rejected without a division, but another Amendment, moved by
the same Peer, appointing that an abstract of the Census shall be published
within three months instead of twelve, passed without opposition; and thus im-
proved, the Census Bill went through Committee.
Forte scutum sains ducum Had Lord Fortescue’s sanitary extension of
the Census been carried, wouldn’t it also, have tended to the salus populi f
On report on Amendments in the Educational Endowments (Scotland) Bill,
the Lord President named the Commissioners thereunder to be appointed by the
Government, the first on the list (of four) bein'g Lord Balfour of Burleigh—a
romantic if not historical name.
The Irish Census Bill, and some smaller Bills, having passed through Com-
mittee, noble Lords knocked off.
{Commons.)—Government having, by the mouths of the Attorney-General,
Sir C. Dilke, and Mr. Gladstone, given nearly sixty querists indefinite answers,
the House set to on the Report of Amendments on Mr. Forster’s little (Irish)
Bill. Two new Amendments proposed by Mr. Gibson to temper the Bill for the
unhappy Landlords, were accepted by the Ministry ; a third, moved on the same
behalf by Mr. Chaplin, got negatived. Then, on the Motion of Mr. Forster,
the House disposed of the question of limitation, carried over from the Com-
mittee, by deciding on a limit of £30 valuation’; and, having settled that point,
ordered the BUI to be read a Third Time on Monday.
Mr. Fawcett next moved the Second Reading of the Post-Office Money Orders
Bill, to cheapen and facilitate the transmission of small sums. It proposes to let
you send one shilling for a halfpenny, sums up to ten shillings for one penny,
and up to one pound for twopence. Here is a lovely little Bill for you, a truly
Liberal Bill, although, as Mr. Fawcett candidly said, it was practically the Bill
of the late Government, and it had the warm support of his predecessor.
After some precautionary criticism from Sir J. Lub-
bock, who wanted the Bill overhauled by a Select Com-
mittee, it was read a Third Time, and the House, having
at last done one bit of good work, adjourned.
Friday {Lords). —Inquiry as to the progress of the new
Ordnance Survey, from Lord Brave, answered by Lord
Sudeley, and from the Duke of Somerset about the
Geological Survey, replied to by Earl SrENCER, in a brief
and instructive lecture on geology.
On the Report of the Census Bill, Lord Enfield
opposed an Amendment moved by Lord Limerick to
provide a special Census for the City of London, but said
there was nothing to prevent the Civic Monarch and his
Aldermen and Council from doing a Census of their own.
A considerable batch of Bills were forwarded, and
then their Lordships adjourned.
(Commons, Morning.)—The Marquis of IIartington,
in answer to Mr. Arnold, announced that he had re-
ceived a telegram from the Viceroy of India, saying that
at a Durbar on Thursday at Cabul, Abdur Rahman had
been proclaimed Ameer of Afghanistan by somebody
or other, whom the telegram did not name.
As Abdur Rahman is supposed to have European
ideas, in due time we shall perhaps have a photograph
of him as Ameer, smoking a meerschaum.
{Evening.)—Moving for papers, Mr. Bryce expatiated
on the frightful state of things existing through Turkish
misgovernment in Armenia and Asia Minor ; and a con-
versation ensued, graver than the debate of the other
evening about specific gravity.
Sir C. Dilke said the Government was doing all it
could with the Porte in concert with the other Powers.
The pressure of six Powers was being brought to bear on
the Porte with a view to enforce reform.
European six-Power pressure is pretty strong, but
wall any pressure milder than hydraulic pressure bring
the Porte to reason ?
Mr. Gladstone, after Mr. Onslow, Sir W. Lawson,
and Mr. Labouchere had said their says, defended the
Government’s line against Mr. Ashmead - Bartlett.
They were working with caution, and within the limits of
their duty ; but were not prepared to act save in concert
with the other Powers.
Success to the Powers, exerting six-Power pressure in
concert on the Porte; and may they keep it up at con-
cert-pitch to the desired end.
After a few Turcophil observations from Mr. Bourke,
the House agreed to Mr. Bryce’s motion for papers, and
adjourned itself.
A PHENOMENON OUT OF PLACE.
The subjoined advertisement, extracted from the
Liverpool Daily Mercury, appears to attest the existence
of a very extraordinary creature, of a description gene-
rally considered by Physiologists as fabulous :—
WANTED, bya Mother and Son, a Situation as KITCHEN
GABDENEll or COWMAN. No objection to horse.
Good references. Address, &c.
A “Mother and Son,” really both, would surely do
better to get shown as a lusus naturae than to work as
a Kitchen Gardener or Cowman.
For a long time we have ceased to hear anything
about Hippophagy ; but the statement foregoing, that
the advertiser “has no objection to horse,” appears to
indicate that a prejudice against a particular form of
animal food is decreasing amongst the laborious classes.
cynicism corrected.
It is not true, says Smelfungus, that there is always
something not altogether disagreeable to us in the mis-
fortunes of even our very best friends. When any of our
friends whosoever get into difficulties, and apply to us
for assistance, which we cannot well afford to render
them, but shall be considered mean if we don’t, their
misfortunes then give us unmitigated pain.
“Dr. Tanner’s Fast ”—is heF Then stop him. But
if he won’t be stopped, and insists on going it for forty
days, then back him, as we have Shakspeare’s authority
in Hamlet that “ Your Tanner will last you nine year.”
[July 31, 1880.
NEMESIS.
Wife {he had brought her a little present). “ No, William, I will not have
HIM BROUGHT UP ON THE ‘ BOTTLE ’ 1 LOOK AT YOUR OWN NOSE, DEAR 1 ”
him and them should experience prove his calculations wrong—instead of
confirming the conclusions of his consummate “ chalk-head.”
Mr. Sullivan moved an Amendment- providing that the valuation of public-
houses in Ireland shall be Griffiths’s valuation, but withdrew it on Mr.
Gladstone’s undertaking to provide that the valuation shall not exceed 20 per
cent, valuation. Who’s Griffiths F As an actuary and accountant, evidently
in Irish estimation at least, a safe man.
Adjournment of sitting, formal business despatched, and House adjourned.
Thursday {Lords).—In Committee on the Census Bill, an Amendment, pro-
posed by Lord Fortescue, to provide for the local collection of sanitary infor-
mation was rejected without a division, but another Amendment, moved by
the same Peer, appointing that an abstract of the Census shall be published
within three months instead of twelve, passed without opposition; and thus im-
proved, the Census Bill went through Committee.
Forte scutum sains ducum Had Lord Fortescue’s sanitary extension of
the Census been carried, wouldn’t it also, have tended to the salus populi f
On report on Amendments in the Educational Endowments (Scotland) Bill,
the Lord President named the Commissioners thereunder to be appointed by the
Government, the first on the list (of four) bein'g Lord Balfour of Burleigh—a
romantic if not historical name.
The Irish Census Bill, and some smaller Bills, having passed through Com-
mittee, noble Lords knocked off.
{Commons.)—Government having, by the mouths of the Attorney-General,
Sir C. Dilke, and Mr. Gladstone, given nearly sixty querists indefinite answers,
the House set to on the Report of Amendments on Mr. Forster’s little (Irish)
Bill. Two new Amendments proposed by Mr. Gibson to temper the Bill for the
unhappy Landlords, were accepted by the Ministry ; a third, moved on the same
behalf by Mr. Chaplin, got negatived. Then, on the Motion of Mr. Forster,
the House disposed of the question of limitation, carried over from the Com-
mittee, by deciding on a limit of £30 valuation’; and, having settled that point,
ordered the BUI to be read a Third Time on Monday.
Mr. Fawcett next moved the Second Reading of the Post-Office Money Orders
Bill, to cheapen and facilitate the transmission of small sums. It proposes to let
you send one shilling for a halfpenny, sums up to ten shillings for one penny,
and up to one pound for twopence. Here is a lovely little Bill for you, a truly
Liberal Bill, although, as Mr. Fawcett candidly said, it was practically the Bill
of the late Government, and it had the warm support of his predecessor.
After some precautionary criticism from Sir J. Lub-
bock, who wanted the Bill overhauled by a Select Com-
mittee, it was read a Third Time, and the House, having
at last done one bit of good work, adjourned.
Friday {Lords). —Inquiry as to the progress of the new
Ordnance Survey, from Lord Brave, answered by Lord
Sudeley, and from the Duke of Somerset about the
Geological Survey, replied to by Earl SrENCER, in a brief
and instructive lecture on geology.
On the Report of the Census Bill, Lord Enfield
opposed an Amendment moved by Lord Limerick to
provide a special Census for the City of London, but said
there was nothing to prevent the Civic Monarch and his
Aldermen and Council from doing a Census of their own.
A considerable batch of Bills were forwarded, and
then their Lordships adjourned.
(Commons, Morning.)—The Marquis of IIartington,
in answer to Mr. Arnold, announced that he had re-
ceived a telegram from the Viceroy of India, saying that
at a Durbar on Thursday at Cabul, Abdur Rahman had
been proclaimed Ameer of Afghanistan by somebody
or other, whom the telegram did not name.
As Abdur Rahman is supposed to have European
ideas, in due time we shall perhaps have a photograph
of him as Ameer, smoking a meerschaum.
{Evening.)—Moving for papers, Mr. Bryce expatiated
on the frightful state of things existing through Turkish
misgovernment in Armenia and Asia Minor ; and a con-
versation ensued, graver than the debate of the other
evening about specific gravity.
Sir C. Dilke said the Government was doing all it
could with the Porte in concert with the other Powers.
The pressure of six Powers was being brought to bear on
the Porte with a view to enforce reform.
European six-Power pressure is pretty strong, but
wall any pressure milder than hydraulic pressure bring
the Porte to reason ?
Mr. Gladstone, after Mr. Onslow, Sir W. Lawson,
and Mr. Labouchere had said their says, defended the
Government’s line against Mr. Ashmead - Bartlett.
They were working with caution, and within the limits of
their duty ; but were not prepared to act save in concert
with the other Powers.
Success to the Powers, exerting six-Power pressure in
concert on the Porte; and may they keep it up at con-
cert-pitch to the desired end.
After a few Turcophil observations from Mr. Bourke,
the House agreed to Mr. Bryce’s motion for papers, and
adjourned itself.
A PHENOMENON OUT OF PLACE.
The subjoined advertisement, extracted from the
Liverpool Daily Mercury, appears to attest the existence
of a very extraordinary creature, of a description gene-
rally considered by Physiologists as fabulous :—
WANTED, bya Mother and Son, a Situation as KITCHEN
GABDENEll or COWMAN. No objection to horse.
Good references. Address, &c.
A “Mother and Son,” really both, would surely do
better to get shown as a lusus naturae than to work as
a Kitchen Gardener or Cowman.
For a long time we have ceased to hear anything
about Hippophagy ; but the statement foregoing, that
the advertiser “has no objection to horse,” appears to
indicate that a prejudice against a particular form of
animal food is decreasing amongst the laborious classes.
cynicism corrected.
It is not true, says Smelfungus, that there is always
something not altogether disagreeable to us in the mis-
fortunes of even our very best friends. When any of our
friends whosoever get into difficulties, and apply to us
for assistance, which we cannot well afford to render
them, but shall be considered mean if we don’t, their
misfortunes then give us unmitigated pain.
“Dr. Tanner’s Fast ”—is heF Then stop him. But
if he won’t be stopped, and insists on going it for forty
days, then back him, as we have Shakspeare’s authority
in Hamlet that “ Your Tanner will last you nine year.”