DOI issue:
August 7, 1880
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17764#0067
August 7, 1880.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
sistible; it carried him away, right out of the saddle
and on to the platform, where he found himself in com-
pany with an Arlecchino, a Pantaleone, the father of. his
resplendent charmer, her brother dressed as a Gains-
borough Blue Boy, and a Merry Andrew, who was bow-
ing to him and asking, “ What he could go for to fetch
for to carry for to bring,” adding that if he had a ticket
from the Church and Stage Guild he must pay extra.
The entire troupe was Italian, and, though perhaps not
peculiar in their own country, would certainly create a
sensation on the lawn of the Episcopal Palace of Small-
Beerjester; for it had suddenly occurred to Mr. Mattix,
as an inspiration, that in order to account for his pre-
sence on their platform—so different from his own
platform at Exeter Hall—he would explain that he had
come to engage them for a private afternoon performance
at Mrs. Dowdie’s garden-party, if their engagements
■would permit of the arrangement.
The Signora, who appeared to be the Manageress of
the booth, received him in her dressing-room; and, after
giving some orders in an undertone to the Blue Boy,
turned to the enraptured Canon, and assuring him that
his horse would be provided with a good stall in the
first row, motioned him to a seat close by the couch on
which she reclined, beautiful and motionless, in an atti-
tude of the deepest and most earnest attention.
“Excuse my receiving you in this dress,” she said, sim-
ply; “but business is business, and this is my costume.”
And very becoming her costume was. It was white
muslin, reaching quite to the knees, without any other
garniture than rich yellow roses and pearls across her
bosom, and the same round the scarcely perceptible armlet
of her corsage. Across her brow she wore a tiara of
precious stones that gave additional lustre to her eyes,
which were brilliant as diamonds of the first water, spark-
ling with dazzling effect on each side of her exquisitely-
chiselled nose, which in itself was a perfect mosaic. On
her arms, which her position required her to expose, she
wore several magnificent bracelets ; while her perfectly-
fitting fleshings, of the palest pink tint, exhibited to
advantage the marvellous outline of her well-rounded
limbs. Her small feet were encased in the tiniest white
high-heeled satin shoes, set off with large delicately-
coloured rosettes.
Dressed as she was, and looking as she did, so
beautiful, so statuesque, with that lovely head, those
large staring eyes which took everybody in at a glance,
it was impossible that Mr. Mattix, clergyman though he
wa3, should not be also numbered among those who were
taken in by those eyes and done for on the spot.
“I must introduce myself,” she said, in excellent
English, to which her foreign accent lent an irresistible
charm. “ You will see in the bill,” and she handed him
a programme, which he received as though he were in
some delicious overpowering dream, “that I am an-
nounced as Columiuna Ceinolina. That is not my real
name. I am the Marchesa di Zazzeglia. The Boy in
Blue is my half brother; the others are my servants;
"though Signor Pantaleoxe acts the part of my guardian
pour me clonner contenance.”
“You are a Marchesa then F ” said Mr. Mattix, softly,
and then mindful of Mrs. Dowdie’s commission, he ex-
Elained that he was in search of a marquee, and esteemed
imself so happy to have found a Marquise.
She inclined her head towards him pensively, and eyed
him like a she-devil.
The Canon who had never met a she-devil, however,
thought that this was the sort of angel he liked, and
drawing the chair nearer to the sofa, and within reach of
the Signora’s dazzling white arm, he assumed the deepest
sympathy and prepared himself to console her, should she
show any symptoms of being overcome by emotion.
“ You do not know my sad story ? ” she inquired, lay-
ing her hand on his with a light touch that sent a tremor
through his, whole frame, and made his hair curl up
crisply like the leaves of a sensitive plant.
No, he didn’t know a word of it, he stammered, but he
should be happy to hear it.
“ I am a lioman by birth,” said La Marchesa di Zaz-
zeglia. “ I have the blood of the Pumteys in my veins.
That is how I first took to pumps and dancing,” and she
kicked one of her little shoes in the air, and then asked
him to replace it on her foot.
The Canon was but a man. What could he do but
place himself at her feet ? After all, there was no harm
in his holding the shoe if she were the only one to put her
ALL THERE!”
Clerk (who has called to see the gas-meter). “ Is youks A Wet ok a Dry
Meieu, M\dam ? ”
Youvg Wife (■who does not like to show ignorance). “ Well, it is kathek Damp,
I'm afkaid ! ”
foot in it ? As for his kneeling before her, had not his own shoemaker knelt
before him' to try on a new pair, and there was nothing wrong in the act F
“ Knee plus ultra f said the Signora laughingly, as she jerked her foot into its
place, and motioned him to his former seat by her cushion.
“ I was engaged to be married to II Duea di Polichinello,” she continued,
earnestly, “ a dissolute . nobleman who had already killed his first wife, Donna
Jolia, and was accused of such dreadful crimes that rather than be his wife I
sacrificed my position in society, my fortune, everything, and escaped from
Italy, accompanied by the few faithful attendants you have seen with me, and
possessed only of these family jewels which you now see me wearing.”
Mr. Mattix would have examined them more closely, especially the diamond
pendants in her ears, but at the sound of a small bell, the Signora rising suddenly
from the sofa, observed in a. low tremulous voice, that he must hear the remainder
of her story another time ; and having faithfully promised to bring the tent, the
troupe, and the whole show to the Bishop’s garden-party, she quitted the small
apartment where their tete-a-tete had been held, leaving Mr. Maitix quite
bewildered and struggling into consciousness as though he were awaking from a
deep sleep.
Fast and Present.
Paterfamilias (to his son). Do you mean to say they don’t punish you for
being idle F Why, in my time at Harrow, a fellow who didn’t. know his
lessons was flogged, as certain as-
Son [amused). Oh! no one learns their lessons now, except the regular
mugs, and fellows grinding for an Exam. !
Paterfamilias. How the deuce then do you expect to get into the Army ? The
competitive examination is most severe.
Son [gaily). Oh, six months at a Crammer’s will do that all right, never fear !
No one ever passes direct from school, you know.
[Visions of £ 10 a iveekfor a year, and failure at the end of that, float before
Paterfamilias, who feels accordingly.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
sistible; it carried him away, right out of the saddle
and on to the platform, where he found himself in com-
pany with an Arlecchino, a Pantaleone, the father of. his
resplendent charmer, her brother dressed as a Gains-
borough Blue Boy, and a Merry Andrew, who was bow-
ing to him and asking, “ What he could go for to fetch
for to carry for to bring,” adding that if he had a ticket
from the Church and Stage Guild he must pay extra.
The entire troupe was Italian, and, though perhaps not
peculiar in their own country, would certainly create a
sensation on the lawn of the Episcopal Palace of Small-
Beerjester; for it had suddenly occurred to Mr. Mattix,
as an inspiration, that in order to account for his pre-
sence on their platform—so different from his own
platform at Exeter Hall—he would explain that he had
come to engage them for a private afternoon performance
at Mrs. Dowdie’s garden-party, if their engagements
■would permit of the arrangement.
The Signora, who appeared to be the Manageress of
the booth, received him in her dressing-room; and, after
giving some orders in an undertone to the Blue Boy,
turned to the enraptured Canon, and assuring him that
his horse would be provided with a good stall in the
first row, motioned him to a seat close by the couch on
which she reclined, beautiful and motionless, in an atti-
tude of the deepest and most earnest attention.
“Excuse my receiving you in this dress,” she said, sim-
ply; “but business is business, and this is my costume.”
And very becoming her costume was. It was white
muslin, reaching quite to the knees, without any other
garniture than rich yellow roses and pearls across her
bosom, and the same round the scarcely perceptible armlet
of her corsage. Across her brow she wore a tiara of
precious stones that gave additional lustre to her eyes,
which were brilliant as diamonds of the first water, spark-
ling with dazzling effect on each side of her exquisitely-
chiselled nose, which in itself was a perfect mosaic. On
her arms, which her position required her to expose, she
wore several magnificent bracelets ; while her perfectly-
fitting fleshings, of the palest pink tint, exhibited to
advantage the marvellous outline of her well-rounded
limbs. Her small feet were encased in the tiniest white
high-heeled satin shoes, set off with large delicately-
coloured rosettes.
Dressed as she was, and looking as she did, so
beautiful, so statuesque, with that lovely head, those
large staring eyes which took everybody in at a glance,
it was impossible that Mr. Mattix, clergyman though he
wa3, should not be also numbered among those who were
taken in by those eyes and done for on the spot.
“I must introduce myself,” she said, in excellent
English, to which her foreign accent lent an irresistible
charm. “ You will see in the bill,” and she handed him
a programme, which he received as though he were in
some delicious overpowering dream, “that I am an-
nounced as Columiuna Ceinolina. That is not my real
name. I am the Marchesa di Zazzeglia. The Boy in
Blue is my half brother; the others are my servants;
"though Signor Pantaleoxe acts the part of my guardian
pour me clonner contenance.”
“You are a Marchesa then F ” said Mr. Mattix, softly,
and then mindful of Mrs. Dowdie’s commission, he ex-
Elained that he was in search of a marquee, and esteemed
imself so happy to have found a Marquise.
She inclined her head towards him pensively, and eyed
him like a she-devil.
The Canon who had never met a she-devil, however,
thought that this was the sort of angel he liked, and
drawing the chair nearer to the sofa, and within reach of
the Signora’s dazzling white arm, he assumed the deepest
sympathy and prepared himself to console her, should she
show any symptoms of being overcome by emotion.
“ You do not know my sad story ? ” she inquired, lay-
ing her hand on his with a light touch that sent a tremor
through his, whole frame, and made his hair curl up
crisply like the leaves of a sensitive plant.
No, he didn’t know a word of it, he stammered, but he
should be happy to hear it.
“ I am a lioman by birth,” said La Marchesa di Zaz-
zeglia. “ I have the blood of the Pumteys in my veins.
That is how I first took to pumps and dancing,” and she
kicked one of her little shoes in the air, and then asked
him to replace it on her foot.
The Canon was but a man. What could he do but
place himself at her feet ? After all, there was no harm
in his holding the shoe if she were the only one to put her
ALL THERE!”
Clerk (who has called to see the gas-meter). “ Is youks A Wet ok a Dry
Meieu, M\dam ? ”
Youvg Wife (■who does not like to show ignorance). “ Well, it is kathek Damp,
I'm afkaid ! ”
foot in it ? As for his kneeling before her, had not his own shoemaker knelt
before him' to try on a new pair, and there was nothing wrong in the act F
“ Knee plus ultra f said the Signora laughingly, as she jerked her foot into its
place, and motioned him to his former seat by her cushion.
“ I was engaged to be married to II Duea di Polichinello,” she continued,
earnestly, “ a dissolute . nobleman who had already killed his first wife, Donna
Jolia, and was accused of such dreadful crimes that rather than be his wife I
sacrificed my position in society, my fortune, everything, and escaped from
Italy, accompanied by the few faithful attendants you have seen with me, and
possessed only of these family jewels which you now see me wearing.”
Mr. Mattix would have examined them more closely, especially the diamond
pendants in her ears, but at the sound of a small bell, the Signora rising suddenly
from the sofa, observed in a. low tremulous voice, that he must hear the remainder
of her story another time ; and having faithfully promised to bring the tent, the
troupe, and the whole show to the Bishop’s garden-party, she quitted the small
apartment where their tete-a-tete had been held, leaving Mr. Maitix quite
bewildered and struggling into consciousness as though he were awaking from a
deep sleep.
Fast and Present.
Paterfamilias (to his son). Do you mean to say they don’t punish you for
being idle F Why, in my time at Harrow, a fellow who didn’t. know his
lessons was flogged, as certain as-
Son [amused). Oh! no one learns their lessons now, except the regular
mugs, and fellows grinding for an Exam. !
Paterfamilias. How the deuce then do you expect to get into the Army ? The
competitive examination is most severe.
Son [gaily). Oh, six months at a Crammer’s will do that all right, never fear !
No one ever passes direct from school, you know.
[Visions of £ 10 a iveekfor a year, and failure at the end of that, float before
Paterfamilias, who feels accordingly.