DOI Heft:
August 14, 1880
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17764#0074
THE LAST VALSE BUT FOUR-TIME 2.35 A.M.
Wife of his Bosom. “Don’t keep looking at your Watch, Algy ! One would think you were in Church ! ”
PUNCH TO THE PREMIER.
“ All’s well,” my William, “ that ends well,” and hearty
Are Mr. Punch's prompt congratulations,
Echoed, without respect of creed or party,
By a whole gladdened Ration’s.
Wheugh! but it shocked us, William, that sharp news
That you were down—the stalwart, steadfast, stable !
Ho man of us arose without the “ blues ”
From Monday’s breakfast-table.
The House looked chill, my William, and its voices
^ Were hushed to hear what, heard, deepened the sadness;
Row, House, Punch, People—all the World rejoices
With an unfeigned gladness.
Hurrah ! But William mine, be wise, beware !
Give not e’en tempered steel too sore a trial.
The Ration urges you, “ Take rest! take care! ”
And will not brook denial.
The venial selfishness of love suggests
The warning, of solicitude sure token.
We know the blade won’t rust—it seldom rests—
But we’d not see it broken.
You must—but Punch is far too glad to chide,
. He turns him to his task again more gaily,
Since he can send you, Will, with thankful pride,
Salve! instead of Vale !
Entr’acte.
j *‘ The Bridal Tour!" indignantly exclaimed an old Haymarket
! ex-Pitman. “ Try to pass this off on us as a good play! It’s like
/his American assurance ! ” •
“Ah,” sighed the Manager, “I wish it were like his London
Assurance ! ”
A SCARE IN THE CITY.
The shell has burst over the City. The Commission of Inquiry
into the Livery Companies is London-Gazetted ; the styles and titles
of the twelve Commissioners, one for each of the twelve great Com-
panies, are duly set forth, the nature and scope of the investigation
are precisely detailed ; and the name of the Secretary is not suggestive
of peaceful proceedings—it is Wabr.
The Companies (eighty or _ so in number) will invite the Com-
mission to dine with them in rotation. As a preliminary, the
Members are all cramming themselves for examination.
Belays of Charwomen are busy night and day in the Halls,
preparing for the Chairmen.
The Apothecaries have offered to attend the Commissioners for
nothing, on every day after the fare; the Barbers will shave them
on the same liberal terms; the Cooks are ready to submit their
(cookery)-books to the most rigid scrutiny, and Bhow all their receipts
for years; there will always be a knife and fork for them at the
Guttlers’-—we mean the Cutlers’; the Fishmongers will offer their
little haul for dinner; and the Fruiterers will give them their
desserts.
The Glaziers will appear in their best window-sashes ; the Glovers
intend to be hand-in-glove with them; the Girdlers hope to get
round the Commissioners by girdling (we attach the utmost signifi-
cance to this term, none but Freemen of the Company know its
exact import) ; the Goldsmiths are on their metal; the Gun-Makers
are alarmed lest their pockets should be rifled ; the Joiners will join
them at dinner (unless, the parish-clerks forbid the banns); the
Merchant Taylors have intrusted their case to a committee of nine,
who will be as one man; and the Musicians will be instrumental
in bringing about a satisfactory finish.
Ireland’s Floating Capital.—Cork. [This was “told to the
Marines” last week, and a thousand of ’em were sent off at once to
invest it.]
The best Dr. Tanner.—The Sun at the sea-side.
Wife of his Bosom. “Don’t keep looking at your Watch, Algy ! One would think you were in Church ! ”
PUNCH TO THE PREMIER.
“ All’s well,” my William, “ that ends well,” and hearty
Are Mr. Punch's prompt congratulations,
Echoed, without respect of creed or party,
By a whole gladdened Ration’s.
Wheugh! but it shocked us, William, that sharp news
That you were down—the stalwart, steadfast, stable !
Ho man of us arose without the “ blues ”
From Monday’s breakfast-table.
The House looked chill, my William, and its voices
^ Were hushed to hear what, heard, deepened the sadness;
Row, House, Punch, People—all the World rejoices
With an unfeigned gladness.
Hurrah ! But William mine, be wise, beware !
Give not e’en tempered steel too sore a trial.
The Ration urges you, “ Take rest! take care! ”
And will not brook denial.
The venial selfishness of love suggests
The warning, of solicitude sure token.
We know the blade won’t rust—it seldom rests—
But we’d not see it broken.
You must—but Punch is far too glad to chide,
. He turns him to his task again more gaily,
Since he can send you, Will, with thankful pride,
Salve! instead of Vale !
Entr’acte.
j *‘ The Bridal Tour!" indignantly exclaimed an old Haymarket
! ex-Pitman. “ Try to pass this off on us as a good play! It’s like
/his American assurance ! ” •
“Ah,” sighed the Manager, “I wish it were like his London
Assurance ! ”
A SCARE IN THE CITY.
The shell has burst over the City. The Commission of Inquiry
into the Livery Companies is London-Gazetted ; the styles and titles
of the twelve Commissioners, one for each of the twelve great Com-
panies, are duly set forth, the nature and scope of the investigation
are precisely detailed ; and the name of the Secretary is not suggestive
of peaceful proceedings—it is Wabr.
The Companies (eighty or _ so in number) will invite the Com-
mission to dine with them in rotation. As a preliminary, the
Members are all cramming themselves for examination.
Belays of Charwomen are busy night and day in the Halls,
preparing for the Chairmen.
The Apothecaries have offered to attend the Commissioners for
nothing, on every day after the fare; the Barbers will shave them
on the same liberal terms; the Cooks are ready to submit their
(cookery)-books to the most rigid scrutiny, and Bhow all their receipts
for years; there will always be a knife and fork for them at the
Guttlers’-—we mean the Cutlers’; the Fishmongers will offer their
little haul for dinner; and the Fruiterers will give them their
desserts.
The Glaziers will appear in their best window-sashes ; the Glovers
intend to be hand-in-glove with them; the Girdlers hope to get
round the Commissioners by girdling (we attach the utmost signifi-
cance to this term, none but Freemen of the Company know its
exact import) ; the Goldsmiths are on their metal; the Gun-Makers
are alarmed lest their pockets should be rifled ; the Joiners will join
them at dinner (unless, the parish-clerks forbid the banns); the
Merchant Taylors have intrusted their case to a committee of nine,
who will be as one man; and the Musicians will be instrumental
in bringing about a satisfactory finish.
Ireland’s Floating Capital.—Cork. [This was “told to the
Marines” last week, and a thousand of ’em were sent off at once to
invest it.]
The best Dr. Tanner.—The Sun at the sea-side.