DOI issue:
August 21, 1880
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17764#0091
August 21, 1880.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
83
WILL YOU NOT NAME THE DAY ?
(Song by an M.P. Dedicated to Lord Hartington.)
Will you not name the day
When I can get away
Far from the House,
When to the Grouse
I my respects can pay ?
When from the stifling town
I can to moors go down,
Or on the seas,
Where sun and breeze
Do me a lovely brown.
Will you not name the day
When I can get away ?
Oh, won’t you name ?
Will you not name F
The Day!
[Plays exhausted symphony, and faints
Fact, of Course,
When Dr. Tanner returned to food, a gentleman
brought him one small ripe plum to begin with.
“What on airth’s this ?” asked the Doctor, who was
very irritable.
“Waal,” replied the amiable Stranger, “I thought,
as you’d just finished a Fast, you might like to try a
Sloe”
The Doctor was irritable, and the Stranger left
abruptly.
The Sting- of it.
(.According to the muddled Owner.)
Confound all these new-fangled habits !—
As if land didn’t bring enough cares,
Without making us give up our rabbits
To fellows who give themselves hares !.
Answer to a Correspondent.
“Learned Theban.” Your article on Noah’s Arki-
tecture is simply admirable, but unsuited to our Yorick
Columns. Try the Builder. (No. 2.)—You say you are
blindly convinced of the existence of such a firm as
Shutters and Window. No. Say “ Chatto and Windus,”
and you’ll he about right.
The Master of the Rolls.—The Albert Victor.
TWO POINTS OF VIEW.
What a shame ! It used to be such Fun,
Clara (from the Country).
you know ! ”
Caroline (from Town). “Yes, poor little Things!
build theip. Nests in the Gardens ? ”
Why shouldn't they
THE DUKE OE MUDFORD IN GLOOMSBURY.
The Duke of Mudford’s grip upon London extends far beyond
Mud-Salad Market. As Lord Cul-de-Sac and the Earl of No
Thoroughfare, he claims and exercises a right of blockade in
Gloomshury. London is a very peculiar city. It is said to be six-
teen miles long and eight miles broad, and is supposed to contain a
population of four millions. Its parochial rulers for the last ten
years have devoted all their energy to the improvement of the great
avenues of communication from East to West, but the cross avenues
are in much the same condition as they were in the days of Dr.
Johnson. The Strand and Fleet Street have been improved, Oxford
Street, Holborn, Newgate Street, &c., have been widened, a noble
Embankment has been made, and a great serpentine roadway, ex-
tending from Wraterloo Bridge to Whitechapel, is in course of
formation. While this is done, or being done, there is not a tho-
roughfare worthy of the name from South to North, from Park Lane
to Chancery Lane. Berkeley Street, Bond Street, St. Martin’s Lane,
and other cross streets have to get rid of their northern traffic by
dodging round corners. The most central and most important tho-
roughfare from South to North, is composed of Waterloo Bridge (a
bridge from which the halfpenny tax on suicide has just been re-
moved), Wellington Street (which stands on a hill, and is adorned
by the Thalia and Melpomene Theatres), Bow Street (which might be
called Bow-legged Street, where criminals are tried), Endell Street
(where they grow the criminals who are tried at Bow Street), and
Gower Street, which belongs to the Duke of Mudford.
At the north end of Gower Street the traffic is stopped by a ducal
barrier, and turned round several narrow streets, to find its way to
the Euston Road as best it can. Three of the largest railway termini
—the North-Western, the Midland, and the Great Northern—lie in
this direction; but the Duke of Mudford, Lord Cul-de-Sac, and
Earl of No Thoroughfare claims his right to stand between these
railways and their floods of traffic. The line must he drawn some-
where, and it is drawn at Gower Street. It was Mrs. Partington’s
mission to try to mop hack the Atlantic : it is the Duke of Mudford’s
mission to push back four millions of people.
By the way, Mud-Salad Market was at its dirtiest and filthiest
last Thursday. Such a standing nuisance in London ought to he as
impossible as it is impassable.
Potation and Quotation.
Towards the finish of a civic dinner, a Deputy, while engaged in
a serious discussion with a Common Councilman on the vice of glut-
tony, became as mixed as his liquors had been. He insisted that
Dives must have been an Alderman, because he was given to “ turtle
and fine linen, and fared sumptuously.” “ Sumpshously ” was a
difficult word for the Deputy, but the Common. Councilman admitted
the correctness of the quotation, and was convinced.
ERIN GO BRAGH !
An unusual number of earthquakes have lately been occurring in
various parts of the world._ But there isn’t one of them to compare
with the Irish Land Agitation.
“ Bray-yo ’Icks!”—Though a sitting Member for Cambridge, you
must henceforth be a standing joke a3 “ The Eggs-M.P.”
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
83
WILL YOU NOT NAME THE DAY ?
(Song by an M.P. Dedicated to Lord Hartington.)
Will you not name the day
When I can get away
Far from the House,
When to the Grouse
I my respects can pay ?
When from the stifling town
I can to moors go down,
Or on the seas,
Where sun and breeze
Do me a lovely brown.
Will you not name the day
When I can get away ?
Oh, won’t you name ?
Will you not name F
The Day!
[Plays exhausted symphony, and faints
Fact, of Course,
When Dr. Tanner returned to food, a gentleman
brought him one small ripe plum to begin with.
“What on airth’s this ?” asked the Doctor, who was
very irritable.
“Waal,” replied the amiable Stranger, “I thought,
as you’d just finished a Fast, you might like to try a
Sloe”
The Doctor was irritable, and the Stranger left
abruptly.
The Sting- of it.
(.According to the muddled Owner.)
Confound all these new-fangled habits !—
As if land didn’t bring enough cares,
Without making us give up our rabbits
To fellows who give themselves hares !.
Answer to a Correspondent.
“Learned Theban.” Your article on Noah’s Arki-
tecture is simply admirable, but unsuited to our Yorick
Columns. Try the Builder. (No. 2.)—You say you are
blindly convinced of the existence of such a firm as
Shutters and Window. No. Say “ Chatto and Windus,”
and you’ll he about right.
The Master of the Rolls.—The Albert Victor.
TWO POINTS OF VIEW.
What a shame ! It used to be such Fun,
Clara (from the Country).
you know ! ”
Caroline (from Town). “Yes, poor little Things!
build theip. Nests in the Gardens ? ”
Why shouldn't they
THE DUKE OE MUDFORD IN GLOOMSBURY.
The Duke of Mudford’s grip upon London extends far beyond
Mud-Salad Market. As Lord Cul-de-Sac and the Earl of No
Thoroughfare, he claims and exercises a right of blockade in
Gloomshury. London is a very peculiar city. It is said to be six-
teen miles long and eight miles broad, and is supposed to contain a
population of four millions. Its parochial rulers for the last ten
years have devoted all their energy to the improvement of the great
avenues of communication from East to West, but the cross avenues
are in much the same condition as they were in the days of Dr.
Johnson. The Strand and Fleet Street have been improved, Oxford
Street, Holborn, Newgate Street, &c., have been widened, a noble
Embankment has been made, and a great serpentine roadway, ex-
tending from Wraterloo Bridge to Whitechapel, is in course of
formation. While this is done, or being done, there is not a tho-
roughfare worthy of the name from South to North, from Park Lane
to Chancery Lane. Berkeley Street, Bond Street, St. Martin’s Lane,
and other cross streets have to get rid of their northern traffic by
dodging round corners. The most central and most important tho-
roughfare from South to North, is composed of Waterloo Bridge (a
bridge from which the halfpenny tax on suicide has just been re-
moved), Wellington Street (which stands on a hill, and is adorned
by the Thalia and Melpomene Theatres), Bow Street (which might be
called Bow-legged Street, where criminals are tried), Endell Street
(where they grow the criminals who are tried at Bow Street), and
Gower Street, which belongs to the Duke of Mudford.
At the north end of Gower Street the traffic is stopped by a ducal
barrier, and turned round several narrow streets, to find its way to
the Euston Road as best it can. Three of the largest railway termini
—the North-Western, the Midland, and the Great Northern—lie in
this direction; but the Duke of Mudford, Lord Cul-de-Sac, and
Earl of No Thoroughfare claims his right to stand between these
railways and their floods of traffic. The line must he drawn some-
where, and it is drawn at Gower Street. It was Mrs. Partington’s
mission to try to mop hack the Atlantic : it is the Duke of Mudford’s
mission to push back four millions of people.
By the way, Mud-Salad Market was at its dirtiest and filthiest
last Thursday. Such a standing nuisance in London ought to he as
impossible as it is impassable.
Potation and Quotation.
Towards the finish of a civic dinner, a Deputy, while engaged in
a serious discussion with a Common Councilman on the vice of glut-
tony, became as mixed as his liquors had been. He insisted that
Dives must have been an Alderman, because he was given to “ turtle
and fine linen, and fared sumptuously.” “ Sumpshously ” was a
difficult word for the Deputy, but the Common. Councilman admitted
the correctness of the quotation, and was convinced.
ERIN GO BRAGH !
An unusual number of earthquakes have lately been occurring in
various parts of the world._ But there isn’t one of them to compare
with the Irish Land Agitation.
“ Bray-yo ’Icks!”—Though a sitting Member for Cambridge, you
must henceforth be a standing joke a3 “ The Eggs-M.P.”