DOI issue:
September 4, 1880
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17764#0107
September 4, 1880.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
99
Sir W. Harcourt. Ah yes, he ’« not disturbable
By gnats, like our dear Premier.
Lora Beaconsfield (caressing his hyacinthine fore-
lock.) Humph ! I fear—/—sometimes-
Sir W. Harcourt. Scorpions are not midges!
Sir S. Northcote. Hear!
Sir JF. Harcourt (tartly). Pity you cannot keep
your midges-
Lord Beaconsfield (deprecatingly). Hush !
We ’re here on neutral ground. You’ve quite
a rush
Of business on to-day.
Sir W. Harcourt. Oh! Wednesday now,
As less devote to verbiage and row,
Is our best work-day. Why, this afternoon
We’ve really marched to quite a quick-step
tune.
The Ground-Game Bill knocked off; then
Savings Banks.
How the Grain Cargoes! Order in the ranks
Is all we want.
Sir S. Northcote (aside, meditatively gazing below
the gangway). I wonder if the sight
Of Ben will cow my cockerels ? Vastly slight
Is my control.
Mr. Bunch (to Lord B., sotto voce). My Lord, we
miss younmcji—
Your steely hand-grip and your silken touch.
Northcote means well, but in his handling
moves
Much like a spinster mild, in cotton gloves,
rumbling on the piano.
Lord Beaconsfield. Ah, poor Staff
Can’t understand the art of cutting chaff.
Not the sole fumbler, though ! (Gazing intently
at Sir W'. II.) You see, too much
Of dash undisciplined may mar the touch
More than too little.
Mr. Punch (significantly). Habet!
Sir S. Northcote (jubilantly). Ha! ha! ha!
Lord Beaconsjhld. Well, this grows tame. 1
think I’ll say Ta-ta! [Exeunt.
Thursday (Lords). — In debate on tbe
Employers’ Liability Bill, Lord Beacons-
fielb moved an Amendment that “The
Act shall continue in force till the 31st
December, 1882, and no longer unless Par-
liament shall determine.” And thereby
hangs a tale. A boy, whom the Earl’s
Secretary had commissioned to take the
Earl’s Amendment to the printers, had put
it in his pocket, and forgotten all about
it!!! Behemoth and Small Beer, but this
is soul-shaking, suggestive, indeed, of a
moving Melodrama, to he entitled A
(Printer's) Devil of a Mess ; or, the Earl's
Amendment and the Oblivious Urchin's
Doom.
Oh! it was the Adolescent who the Earl’s
Amendment had
To carry to the printers, but, forgetful little lad,
He put it in his pocket, like a surreptitious top,
Or a slily stolen apple, and—allowed it there to
stop!
Off with his head? Oh, not at all! the times
have altered much,
The urchin wa3 a traitor, and deserved Ms death
as such;
But instead of Tower Hill and Axe the lucky
little churl
Got mentioned in the Times, and complimented
by an Earl.
But although Lord Granville considered
that he was a very intelligent boy who had
endeavoured to dispose of the proposal in
the best possible manner, the Earl’s Amend-
ment was carried, with others, and the Bill
passed through Committee.
(Commons.)—LordR. Churchill’s super-
sensitive soul having been the prey of a
perfect gamut of disquieting emotions—
astonishment, indignation, alarm, regret,
&c.—since hearing the “new Irish Policy,”
supposed to be disclosed in Mr. Forster’s
last speech, felt himself impelled to relieve
his surcharged spirit by calling the Chief
Secretary a wicked incendiary. Hence
waste of some hours which would have been
better devoted by the House to Supply,
AND THIS IS FAME!”
House of Commons Official (to Stranger who is returning to his seat in the Gallery), “ Name,
Sir ?”
Stranger (Editor of the “ Mudborough Gazette,” and Author of many justly celebrated Works).
“Name? Ahem! Braggot—J. B. Braggot!”
Jaded Official. “ Tctt-tut-tut ! ’Not the slightest use mentioning your own Name,
Sir. I want the Name of the Member who intf-obuced you !”
J. B. B. (disgusted). “ Oh !—Tomkins !”
[.Returns wrathfully to his seat, and determines to write a scathing Article in next Number
on “ Understrappers.”
and by Lord Randolph to the further manipulation of that refractory moustache of his.
Can it he that chronic patriotic passion affects that hirsute adornment, as wrath is said to
do the bristling heard of the Grand Turk P
Then followed (in Committee on Supply) “linked bitterness long drawn out” (Hibernian
tap) anent the Constabulary Tote, relieved only by a crystal-clear, earnest, calm-tempered,
and kindly-hearted ovation from John Bright; elocutionary pearls thrown before perverse
and wrong-headed Irish porkers.
Obstruction once again “made a night of it,” Thursday’s sitting being prolonged until
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
99
Sir W. Harcourt. Ah yes, he ’« not disturbable
By gnats, like our dear Premier.
Lora Beaconsfield (caressing his hyacinthine fore-
lock.) Humph ! I fear—/—sometimes-
Sir W. Harcourt. Scorpions are not midges!
Sir S. Northcote. Hear!
Sir JF. Harcourt (tartly). Pity you cannot keep
your midges-
Lord Beaconsfield (deprecatingly). Hush !
We ’re here on neutral ground. You’ve quite
a rush
Of business on to-day.
Sir W. Harcourt. Oh! Wednesday now,
As less devote to verbiage and row,
Is our best work-day. Why, this afternoon
We’ve really marched to quite a quick-step
tune.
The Ground-Game Bill knocked off; then
Savings Banks.
How the Grain Cargoes! Order in the ranks
Is all we want.
Sir S. Northcote (aside, meditatively gazing below
the gangway). I wonder if the sight
Of Ben will cow my cockerels ? Vastly slight
Is my control.
Mr. Bunch (to Lord B., sotto voce). My Lord, we
miss younmcji—
Your steely hand-grip and your silken touch.
Northcote means well, but in his handling
moves
Much like a spinster mild, in cotton gloves,
rumbling on the piano.
Lord Beaconsfield. Ah, poor Staff
Can’t understand the art of cutting chaff.
Not the sole fumbler, though ! (Gazing intently
at Sir W'. II.) You see, too much
Of dash undisciplined may mar the touch
More than too little.
Mr. Punch (significantly). Habet!
Sir S. Northcote (jubilantly). Ha! ha! ha!
Lord Beaconsjhld. Well, this grows tame. 1
think I’ll say Ta-ta! [Exeunt.
Thursday (Lords). — In debate on tbe
Employers’ Liability Bill, Lord Beacons-
fielb moved an Amendment that “The
Act shall continue in force till the 31st
December, 1882, and no longer unless Par-
liament shall determine.” And thereby
hangs a tale. A boy, whom the Earl’s
Secretary had commissioned to take the
Earl’s Amendment to the printers, had put
it in his pocket, and forgotten all about
it!!! Behemoth and Small Beer, but this
is soul-shaking, suggestive, indeed, of a
moving Melodrama, to he entitled A
(Printer's) Devil of a Mess ; or, the Earl's
Amendment and the Oblivious Urchin's
Doom.
Oh! it was the Adolescent who the Earl’s
Amendment had
To carry to the printers, but, forgetful little lad,
He put it in his pocket, like a surreptitious top,
Or a slily stolen apple, and—allowed it there to
stop!
Off with his head? Oh, not at all! the times
have altered much,
The urchin wa3 a traitor, and deserved Ms death
as such;
But instead of Tower Hill and Axe the lucky
little churl
Got mentioned in the Times, and complimented
by an Earl.
But although Lord Granville considered
that he was a very intelligent boy who had
endeavoured to dispose of the proposal in
the best possible manner, the Earl’s Amend-
ment was carried, with others, and the Bill
passed through Committee.
(Commons.)—LordR. Churchill’s super-
sensitive soul having been the prey of a
perfect gamut of disquieting emotions—
astonishment, indignation, alarm, regret,
&c.—since hearing the “new Irish Policy,”
supposed to be disclosed in Mr. Forster’s
last speech, felt himself impelled to relieve
his surcharged spirit by calling the Chief
Secretary a wicked incendiary. Hence
waste of some hours which would have been
better devoted by the House to Supply,
AND THIS IS FAME!”
House of Commons Official (to Stranger who is returning to his seat in the Gallery), “ Name,
Sir ?”
Stranger (Editor of the “ Mudborough Gazette,” and Author of many justly celebrated Works).
“Name? Ahem! Braggot—J. B. Braggot!”
Jaded Official. “ Tctt-tut-tut ! ’Not the slightest use mentioning your own Name,
Sir. I want the Name of the Member who intf-obuced you !”
J. B. B. (disgusted). “ Oh !—Tomkins !”
[.Returns wrathfully to his seat, and determines to write a scathing Article in next Number
on “ Understrappers.”
and by Lord Randolph to the further manipulation of that refractory moustache of his.
Can it he that chronic patriotic passion affects that hirsute adornment, as wrath is said to
do the bristling heard of the Grand Turk P
Then followed (in Committee on Supply) “linked bitterness long drawn out” (Hibernian
tap) anent the Constabulary Tote, relieved only by a crystal-clear, earnest, calm-tempered,
and kindly-hearted ovation from John Bright; elocutionary pearls thrown before perverse
and wrong-headed Irish porkers.
Obstruction once again “made a night of it,” Thursday’s sitting being prolonged until