DOI Heft:
October 16, 1880
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17764#0179
October 16, 1880.] PUNCH, OK, THE LONDON CHAKIVAKI.
in
A REGULAR TARTER.
Yankee (who had “cleared off” all the Pastry from the Counter). “ I guess the next
Fellow that comes bound, Miss, ’ll get something fresh—wha-at ? ”
OUE, OWN CITY COMMISSION.
Our Commissioner. What are the duties
of the Town Clerk ?
Town Clerk. Very arduous.
Our Commissioner. I am sure of it. Name
them.
Town Clerk. He has to be at the office at
eleven every day, if possible.
Our Commissioner. Poor fellow !
Town Clerk. He has to stay there till he
leaves.
Our Commissioner. Wry hard. When
does he leave ?
Town Clerk. As a rule, when he likes.
Our Commissioner. What tyranny !
Town Clerk. Thank you for your sym-
pathy.
Our Commissioner. What else is required,
of him ?
Town Clerk. He must be able to read
aloud distinctly, write fairly, and spell
sufficiently for all practical purposes.
Our Commissioner. Requirements in-
volving immense study. Continue.
'Town Clerk. He must be ready to dine at
any hour with any City Company, and to
say civil things of everybody in a neat
after-dinner speech. He is expected to
represent the City as one of its Ornaments
in the best Society, and, as extra work,
to attend all first night theatrical perform-
ances.
Our Commissioner. You have not men-
tioned any holidays or vacation.
Town Clerk. Alas! I have not more than
three months in the year at a time, though,
of course, my onerous duties compel me to
take my Saturdays and Mondays and some
other days for absolutely necessary recrea-
tion.
Our Commissioner. I had no idea that
so much was required. And for this stu-
pendous labour what is the salary ?
Town Clerk {in tears). Only two thou-
sand five hundred per annum.
Our Commissioner (hardly able to re-
strain his emotion). Only that! Bless me,
is it possible! {Aside.) I know7 an active
youth in my office who’d be glad to do it
for half. {Aloud.) Yery much obliged to
you for the information. You may stand
down.
[Town Clerk having stood up for him-
self pretty successfully lately, stands
down—till he is wanted again.
After the Antique.
Thebe were some Cits of London town,
In fit of wisdom rare,
They pulled an Ugly Nuisance down,
And cleared a thoroughfare.
But when they found the road was cleared,
With all their might and main
An Uglier Nuisance they upreared,
And blocked it up again.
“ OH, SWALLOW ! SWALLOW ! ”
An esteemed Foreign Correspondent sends us the following extract from the Jornal do
Commercio, the leading Lisbon journal:—
</- Festa de Banqueibos.—Na festa dos banqueiros dada no palacio Alexandre, de Londres, con-
eumiram-se : 720 duzias de frascos de aguardente, 470 duzias de garrafas de vinho, 1: 600 duzias de garafas
de ale, 350 barris de cerveja, 30 : 000 ckavenas de chd, 22 toneladas de alimentos, 60 : 000 pasteis, grande
quantidade de saladas e 42.000 paes. Esta estatistica faz honra a robustez dos estomagos britannicos.”
“ The Bankers’ Festival ” evidently means a Bank Holiday. This Festival the readers of
the paper are informed was celebrated at the Alexandra Palace, where it is supposed the
Glyns, Lubbocbs, Rothschilds, and others met and imbibed seven hundred and twenty
dozen of brandy, &c., &c., and twenty-two tons of eatables. Then the writer naturally com-
pliments the English Bankers’ capacity for victuals and drink. Why, if their readers swallow
this—Bankers and all—they ’ll swallow anything.
By a Naturally Sharp Agent.
A shite of apartments over a recently-
built Musical Publisher’s shop is to let. It
could be appropriately advertised thus:—
To Let
A FLAT.
A Child of Molieke’s. — What does
Sabah Beknhabdt live on ? French rules.
in
A REGULAR TARTER.
Yankee (who had “cleared off” all the Pastry from the Counter). “ I guess the next
Fellow that comes bound, Miss, ’ll get something fresh—wha-at ? ”
OUE, OWN CITY COMMISSION.
Our Commissioner. What are the duties
of the Town Clerk ?
Town Clerk. Very arduous.
Our Commissioner. I am sure of it. Name
them.
Town Clerk. He has to be at the office at
eleven every day, if possible.
Our Commissioner. Poor fellow !
Town Clerk. He has to stay there till he
leaves.
Our Commissioner. Wry hard. When
does he leave ?
Town Clerk. As a rule, when he likes.
Our Commissioner. What tyranny !
Town Clerk. Thank you for your sym-
pathy.
Our Commissioner. What else is required,
of him ?
Town Clerk. He must be able to read
aloud distinctly, write fairly, and spell
sufficiently for all practical purposes.
Our Commissioner. Requirements in-
volving immense study. Continue.
'Town Clerk. He must be ready to dine at
any hour with any City Company, and to
say civil things of everybody in a neat
after-dinner speech. He is expected to
represent the City as one of its Ornaments
in the best Society, and, as extra work,
to attend all first night theatrical perform-
ances.
Our Commissioner. You have not men-
tioned any holidays or vacation.
Town Clerk. Alas! I have not more than
three months in the year at a time, though,
of course, my onerous duties compel me to
take my Saturdays and Mondays and some
other days for absolutely necessary recrea-
tion.
Our Commissioner. I had no idea that
so much was required. And for this stu-
pendous labour what is the salary ?
Town Clerk {in tears). Only two thou-
sand five hundred per annum.
Our Commissioner (hardly able to re-
strain his emotion). Only that! Bless me,
is it possible! {Aside.) I know7 an active
youth in my office who’d be glad to do it
for half. {Aloud.) Yery much obliged to
you for the information. You may stand
down.
[Town Clerk having stood up for him-
self pretty successfully lately, stands
down—till he is wanted again.
After the Antique.
Thebe were some Cits of London town,
In fit of wisdom rare,
They pulled an Ugly Nuisance down,
And cleared a thoroughfare.
But when they found the road was cleared,
With all their might and main
An Uglier Nuisance they upreared,
And blocked it up again.
“ OH, SWALLOW ! SWALLOW ! ”
An esteemed Foreign Correspondent sends us the following extract from the Jornal do
Commercio, the leading Lisbon journal:—
</- Festa de Banqueibos.—Na festa dos banqueiros dada no palacio Alexandre, de Londres, con-
eumiram-se : 720 duzias de frascos de aguardente, 470 duzias de garrafas de vinho, 1: 600 duzias de garafas
de ale, 350 barris de cerveja, 30 : 000 ckavenas de chd, 22 toneladas de alimentos, 60 : 000 pasteis, grande
quantidade de saladas e 42.000 paes. Esta estatistica faz honra a robustez dos estomagos britannicos.”
“ The Bankers’ Festival ” evidently means a Bank Holiday. This Festival the readers of
the paper are informed was celebrated at the Alexandra Palace, where it is supposed the
Glyns, Lubbocbs, Rothschilds, and others met and imbibed seven hundred and twenty
dozen of brandy, &c., &c., and twenty-two tons of eatables. Then the writer naturally com-
pliments the English Bankers’ capacity for victuals and drink. Why, if their readers swallow
this—Bankers and all—they ’ll swallow anything.
By a Naturally Sharp Agent.
A shite of apartments over a recently-
built Musical Publisher’s shop is to let. It
could be appropriately advertised thus:—
To Let
A FLAT.
A Child of Molieke’s. — What does
Sabah Beknhabdt live on ? French rules.