DOI issue:
November 13, 1880
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17764#0228
220
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[November 13, 1880.
BURGER AND BOUCICAULT.
Since our notice of The Cor-
sican Brothers at the Lyceum
we have received numerous re-
plies to the query concerning:
the origin of the line “The
dead travel fast.” As the
words in question seemed to be
rather an adaptation of an idea
than an exact quotation from
Leonore, we “ paused for a
replv” which should convince
us that Mr. Boucicault had
really intended to quote Bur-
gee, and here we have proof
positive in Notes and Queries,
from which we make the fol-
lowing1 extract:—
‘“The dead travel fast.’—
In Punch, Oct. 2, is a critique on
Mr. Irving’s production of The
Corsican Brothers at the Lyceum
Theatre, in which is the following
sentence: ‘ By the way, Mr. Bouci-
cault makes Par by any say, ‘‘ The
dead travel fast,” which is about
the one good line in the piece—
only, where did it come from? ’
Mr. Irvivg uses the version brought out by Charles Kean at the Prin-
cess's Theai re, Eeb. 24, 1852, hut in another version of the drama that was
published at that time I find the following : —
“ ‘ Mont. FL>w can you possibly have obtained these sad details so quickly ?
‘‘ ‘ Fab. You foiget the baLlad of 13ukger, Monsieur—“The dead travel
fast.’’ ’
“ This answers Mr. Punch's question. “Cuthhert Bede.’’
Whose was “ the other version ” ? By the way, quoting poetry is
rather out of keeping with the character of a gay Corsican sportsman
like Farhyang. Thanks to Mr. Cgtiibert Bede, who is evidently
flourishing, aud not in the least “ verdant green.”
EASY GEOGRAPHY EOR BEGINNERS.
Question. Now. will yon first kindly inform me what, and also
where, is the Mediterranean Sea?
Answer. With the greatest pleasure. The Mediterranean Sea is
where it used to be—somewhere on the road to India, and somewhere
between Europe, Asia, Africa, Malta, and (I think) America, but
I ’m not quite sure about America. The three most important coun-
tries that it washes are Italy, Greece, and Turkey. It has been en-
gaged in washing Turkey from the very earliest ages, hut it doesn’t
seem to have got it all clean yet. The chief use to which this most
convenient piece of water is generally put is as a theatre for Naval
Demonstrations, and other histrionic performances. At the present
moment it is being used for a Concert, in which all the Great Powers
take a share. To be followed by a “Screaming Farce,” in which
the chief performers will be Turks and Albanians, entitled Dulcigno ;
or, Don't you wish you may get it f
Q. What are the limits of European Turkey ?
A. Turkey is bounded on the north by rising Nationalities, and on
the south by broken pledges ; on the west by the Naval Demonstra-
tion, and on the east by the Black Sea Fleet.
Q. Why are these Nationalities that you have just mentioned
called “ rising” Nationalities ?
A. Obviously because of a curious natural habit which they
possess, of rising in revolt against Turkey on the slightest provoca-
tion, or none at all.
Q. What are the chief products of Turkey ?
A. Pachas and Promises. The latter are always broken, while
the former, unfortunately, are—kept.
Q. Can yon tell me what is the form of Government in Turkey ?
A. Of course I can ! Anything you like to ask. Turkey hasn’t
got much Government of any sort. What there is, is framed on the
amiable principle of taxing the people heavily for protection to life
and property, and then leaving life and property entirely unpro-
tected.
Q. Is there any other Country in Europe with at all a similar form
■of Government ?
A. Yes—Ireland.
Q. What is—or ought to be—Turkey’s National Motto ?
A. “ My word is as good as my bonds,” and not a penny to choose
between them.
Q. For what is Greece chiefly celebrated ?
A. Leonidas and Lord Byron.
Q. And what is the Northern Boundary of Greece ?
A. Turkish regulars, and a very natural unwillingness on the
part of the Greeks to come to closer quarters with them.
Q. What are the chief products of Italy ?
A. National Debt, huge ironclads, hundred-ton guns, grapes, and
Garibaldians. But I ’in afraid I can’t stop to answer any more of
your questions just now. You ’ll And everything you want—though
not half as good as I could give it you—in any Elementary Geo-
graphy ; mind and get one of Lord Salisbury’s big maps, be sure
you don’t mistake Greece for Sicily, and there you are. Ta ! Ta!
“OLD KING COAL” AND THE EOG DEMON.
Well, yes, Old King Coal is a jolly old soul,
And ’twill be a long time ’ere the world wags without him;
But he needs Constitutional check and control,
And so do the minions he’s gathered about him.
The rollicking autocrat isn’t King Log,
But his rule’s not all rosy, a thing to remember,
When finding we meet with the first of the fog
’Ere we part with the last of September.
The Fog Fiend, his comrade, ’s a murderous ghoul,
With long patient London is playing Old Gooseberry,
Soot-columns foul, belched from chimney and cowl,
The town in a stench as of long stagnant ooze bury.
Gets London immenser, grow denser and denser
Its fog-veil, less easy and wholesome for breathing,
As though fetid fumes from some demon-swung censer
The town in miasma were wreathing.
Still lengthens, still strengthens, the sway of the pest,
Its malodorous puffings still smoke us and choke us,
Till each of us feels he’s a flue for a chest
From Michaelmas r’ght on to March and the crocus.
Five months of asphyxia out of the year,
With dark as of Tophet, and smells as of sewage,
Are rather too much. Who will help London clear
Of the Fog Demon’s annual brewage ?
’Tis long ’ere a Londoner’s patience will fail;
But ’tis hard half the year to live silent and placid
In darkness Egyptian, with nought to inhale
But unconsumed carbon, and sulphurous acid.
How long shall we vainly assistance invoke F
How long must we bow to this Autocrat’s grim knee ?
Our City disfigured—its populace choke !
A prey to the Ghoul of the Chimney ?
Let Science and Law take the matter in hand,
The former has ever for victory thirsted:
And will she sit silent in impotence bland.
By coal fires and chimney reek utterly worsted ?
Death’s jackal, disease’s sworn ally, the friend
Of discomfort, and dirt, and destruction Fiend Fog is.
’Tis time to take thought, and the tyranny end
Of this blackest of Babylon’s Bogies!
Satisfactory Solution.
An Extractor sends ns the following cutting from The Standard
in full bloom :—
A Well-educated young SAILOR (four years as apprentice and two
years second mate), a total abstainer from birth, REQUIRES a SITUA-
TION in London ; good writer; undeniable references.
How can he “ abstain from birth” ? This is what “ Extractor ”
wants to know. Clearly a very wide-awake sailor is one who will
always be on the watch, and never go to sleep; and so “ bfrth’’
is simply a misprint for “berth.” This solves the mystery. That
he should be a second mate does not necessarily imply that he has
been twice a widower.
FROM BEDFORD TOWN.
“They may know ‘What’s what’ in Bedford,” said the turgid
old River, “ but I ’ll show ’em ‘Ouse ’oo!”’ And he overran his
banking account to any extent.
no !
Some Photographer in New York is said to have two hundred
and fifty-three “ distinct negatives ” of a Miss Maud Branscombe.
Evidently a fellow who “ will not take No for an answer.”
• USt-IinTED ”
Louey.
Louev.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[November 13, 1880.
BURGER AND BOUCICAULT.
Since our notice of The Cor-
sican Brothers at the Lyceum
we have received numerous re-
plies to the query concerning:
the origin of the line “The
dead travel fast.” As the
words in question seemed to be
rather an adaptation of an idea
than an exact quotation from
Leonore, we “ paused for a
replv” which should convince
us that Mr. Boucicault had
really intended to quote Bur-
gee, and here we have proof
positive in Notes and Queries,
from which we make the fol-
lowing1 extract:—
‘“The dead travel fast.’—
In Punch, Oct. 2, is a critique on
Mr. Irving’s production of The
Corsican Brothers at the Lyceum
Theatre, in which is the following
sentence: ‘ By the way, Mr. Bouci-
cault makes Par by any say, ‘‘ The
dead travel fast,” which is about
the one good line in the piece—
only, where did it come from? ’
Mr. Irvivg uses the version brought out by Charles Kean at the Prin-
cess's Theai re, Eeb. 24, 1852, hut in another version of the drama that was
published at that time I find the following : —
“ ‘ Mont. FL>w can you possibly have obtained these sad details so quickly ?
‘‘ ‘ Fab. You foiget the baLlad of 13ukger, Monsieur—“The dead travel
fast.’’ ’
“ This answers Mr. Punch's question. “Cuthhert Bede.’’
Whose was “ the other version ” ? By the way, quoting poetry is
rather out of keeping with the character of a gay Corsican sportsman
like Farhyang. Thanks to Mr. Cgtiibert Bede, who is evidently
flourishing, aud not in the least “ verdant green.”
EASY GEOGRAPHY EOR BEGINNERS.
Question. Now. will yon first kindly inform me what, and also
where, is the Mediterranean Sea?
Answer. With the greatest pleasure. The Mediterranean Sea is
where it used to be—somewhere on the road to India, and somewhere
between Europe, Asia, Africa, Malta, and (I think) America, but
I ’m not quite sure about America. The three most important coun-
tries that it washes are Italy, Greece, and Turkey. It has been en-
gaged in washing Turkey from the very earliest ages, hut it doesn’t
seem to have got it all clean yet. The chief use to which this most
convenient piece of water is generally put is as a theatre for Naval
Demonstrations, and other histrionic performances. At the present
moment it is being used for a Concert, in which all the Great Powers
take a share. To be followed by a “Screaming Farce,” in which
the chief performers will be Turks and Albanians, entitled Dulcigno ;
or, Don't you wish you may get it f
Q. What are the limits of European Turkey ?
A. Turkey is bounded on the north by rising Nationalities, and on
the south by broken pledges ; on the west by the Naval Demonstra-
tion, and on the east by the Black Sea Fleet.
Q. Why are these Nationalities that you have just mentioned
called “ rising” Nationalities ?
A. Obviously because of a curious natural habit which they
possess, of rising in revolt against Turkey on the slightest provoca-
tion, or none at all.
Q. What are the chief products of Turkey ?
A. Pachas and Promises. The latter are always broken, while
the former, unfortunately, are—kept.
Q. Can yon tell me what is the form of Government in Turkey ?
A. Of course I can ! Anything you like to ask. Turkey hasn’t
got much Government of any sort. What there is, is framed on the
amiable principle of taxing the people heavily for protection to life
and property, and then leaving life and property entirely unpro-
tected.
Q. Is there any other Country in Europe with at all a similar form
■of Government ?
A. Yes—Ireland.
Q. What is—or ought to be—Turkey’s National Motto ?
A. “ My word is as good as my bonds,” and not a penny to choose
between them.
Q. For what is Greece chiefly celebrated ?
A. Leonidas and Lord Byron.
Q. And what is the Northern Boundary of Greece ?
A. Turkish regulars, and a very natural unwillingness on the
part of the Greeks to come to closer quarters with them.
Q. What are the chief products of Italy ?
A. National Debt, huge ironclads, hundred-ton guns, grapes, and
Garibaldians. But I ’in afraid I can’t stop to answer any more of
your questions just now. You ’ll And everything you want—though
not half as good as I could give it you—in any Elementary Geo-
graphy ; mind and get one of Lord Salisbury’s big maps, be sure
you don’t mistake Greece for Sicily, and there you are. Ta ! Ta!
“OLD KING COAL” AND THE EOG DEMON.
Well, yes, Old King Coal is a jolly old soul,
And ’twill be a long time ’ere the world wags without him;
But he needs Constitutional check and control,
And so do the minions he’s gathered about him.
The rollicking autocrat isn’t King Log,
But his rule’s not all rosy, a thing to remember,
When finding we meet with the first of the fog
’Ere we part with the last of September.
The Fog Fiend, his comrade, ’s a murderous ghoul,
With long patient London is playing Old Gooseberry,
Soot-columns foul, belched from chimney and cowl,
The town in a stench as of long stagnant ooze bury.
Gets London immenser, grow denser and denser
Its fog-veil, less easy and wholesome for breathing,
As though fetid fumes from some demon-swung censer
The town in miasma were wreathing.
Still lengthens, still strengthens, the sway of the pest,
Its malodorous puffings still smoke us and choke us,
Till each of us feels he’s a flue for a chest
From Michaelmas r’ght on to March and the crocus.
Five months of asphyxia out of the year,
With dark as of Tophet, and smells as of sewage,
Are rather too much. Who will help London clear
Of the Fog Demon’s annual brewage ?
’Tis long ’ere a Londoner’s patience will fail;
But ’tis hard half the year to live silent and placid
In darkness Egyptian, with nought to inhale
But unconsumed carbon, and sulphurous acid.
How long shall we vainly assistance invoke F
How long must we bow to this Autocrat’s grim knee ?
Our City disfigured—its populace choke !
A prey to the Ghoul of the Chimney ?
Let Science and Law take the matter in hand,
The former has ever for victory thirsted:
And will she sit silent in impotence bland.
By coal fires and chimney reek utterly worsted ?
Death’s jackal, disease’s sworn ally, the friend
Of discomfort, and dirt, and destruction Fiend Fog is.
’Tis time to take thought, and the tyranny end
Of this blackest of Babylon’s Bogies!
Satisfactory Solution.
An Extractor sends ns the following cutting from The Standard
in full bloom :—
A Well-educated young SAILOR (four years as apprentice and two
years second mate), a total abstainer from birth, REQUIRES a SITUA-
TION in London ; good writer; undeniable references.
How can he “ abstain from birth” ? This is what “ Extractor ”
wants to know. Clearly a very wide-awake sailor is one who will
always be on the watch, and never go to sleep; and so “ bfrth’’
is simply a misprint for “berth.” This solves the mystery. That
he should be a second mate does not necessarily imply that he has
been twice a widower.
FROM BEDFORD TOWN.
“They may know ‘What’s what’ in Bedford,” said the turgid
old River, “ but I ’ll show ’em ‘Ouse ’oo!”’ And he overran his
banking account to any extent.
no !
Some Photographer in New York is said to have two hundred
and fifty-three “ distinct negatives ” of a Miss Maud Branscombe.
Evidently a fellow who “ will not take No for an answer.”
• USt-IinTED ”
Louey.
Louev.