Punch (79.1880)

278

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[December 18, 1880.

SUFFICIENT GROUNDS FOR REFUSAL.

Scene—Office in Dublin Life Assurance.

Surgeon of the Company. “ Hearrt and Liter sound as a Bell. Be Jarge, ye ’ye the
EOINEST LoiFE I IVER SAW, SOR ! F WHAT’S YOHR BUSINESS, OR PROFESSION, NOW ? ”
Applicant. “ I haven’t got any.”

Surgeon. “Fwhat I Ye don’t mean to say ye’ve got Land/” Applicant. “Afew Acres.”
Surgeon. “Faith ! thin I’m sorry for ye ! But ye won’t do for Us I”

[Certificate refused.

A WILD CHASE AT WINCHESTER.

“Fox-Hunting Extraordinary.—On Wednesday the Hursley Hounds had a novel run. For
some time the poultry yards at Barton Farm having been visited by Reynard, to discover his where-
abouts the Hursley pack met at Worthy, and, drawing the osier-beds in the Winnal Mooi-s, Reynard was
found near the farm. He bolted south, and came into the city, crossing the North Walls, and into St.
George’s Street, into Mrs. Dillow’s premises, whence he was dislodged, and crossing the gardens to
Parchment Street, finally took refuge in Mr. Richardson’s garden. Here he was hunted by some
terriers before the arrival of the pack, who, on coming up, soon despatched the depredator of the fowl-
yards.”—Hampshire Independent.

Air—‘•'•The Fox jumped over the Turnpike Gate.'’

He went off as the wind did blow,

The Fox went stealing' onr fowls by nigbt;

We suspected tbe case was so :

And thought we ’d the neighbouring Hunt
invite,

That they would help bestow
To find our hen-roost’s foe,

And the hounds let after him go,

Driving the vermin
To cease and determine ;

Yoicks, sing Tally-ho!

Yoicks, &e.

The Hursley Hounds came over the Down,
As straight as flies the Crow,

To Barton Farm nigh Winchester Town,
Into the vale below,

Where Itchen’s waters flow.

The Field was a sprightly show;

Squires in vermilion,

Horse and filly on,

Yoicks sing Tally-ho!

Yoicks, &c.

They went and drew the Winnal Moors,

In a bed where osiers grow,

And they found sly Reynard out of doors,
Where the scent of him served to show.

Which way all foxes know ;

Southwards following,

We went holloaing

Yoicks, sing Tally-ho!

Yoicks, &e.

The hounds behind him off the scent
With deep design to throw,

O’er Winton’s Northern Walls he went
As fast as bolt from bow.

And asylum sought from woe ;

The domain of Dame Dillowe :

But they turned him out
To our echoing shout—

Yoicks, sing Tally-ho!

Yoicks, &e.

Yet still, with tail towards the hounds,
Mid a general view hul-lo,

Away and away through private grounds
He fled in the morning’s glow;

By terrace, lane, and row,

The traffic to and fro
Rather impeding
The Hunt’s proceeding:

Yoicks, sing Tally-ho!

Yoicks, &c.

At length he reached his last retreat
In a thoroughfare, long ago
That was named by the name of Parchment
Street,

Where Richardson’s roses blow ;

And his cauliflowers too, I trow :

And he plies the spade and hoe—

I beg your pardon,

Richardson’s garden—

Yoicks, sing Tally-ho!

Yoicks, &c>

There Smoker, Smiler, Snap, and Tray,
Forced Reynard fight to show—

’Gainst those domestic dogs at bay
He stood, till sure, if slow,

The Pack arrived, and lo !

We were in at the death ; for O,

The bow-wows catched him,

And soon despatched him—

Wicks, sing Tally-ho l
Yoicks, &e.

Now this was a case of a genuine chase,

For which there was cause to show.

It was doing away with a beast of prey;

We had reason for doing so ;

And our huntsmen thanks we owe,

For they laid the purloiner low,

And stopped Reynard’s thieving;

Head and tail only leaving—

Yoicks, sing Tally-ho!

Yoicks, «S:c.

A HOUSE OF BONDAGE,

A lady sends us the following advertise-
ment, extracted—extracted with pain—
from the Guardian :—

NURSERY GOVERNESS. French or Eng-
lish, Protestant, WANTED immediately,
after Christmas, for one little girl. Must be com-
petent to teach the rudiments of French, English,
and music. Sole charge of child; nursery and
wardrobe. Meals with the servants. Personal
character of not less than two years required.
Address particulars to-

Here it is again,—the old-fashioned
cruel vulgarity, that no preaching, no pro-
test, no satire, no effort that kindly and
earnest sympathy can make, seems able to
suppress. Some refined and well educated
lady, for the reference to her accomplish-
ments presupposes gentle antecedents, is to
eat the bread for which her necessities oblige
her to toil in discomfort, humiliation, and
pain. There is an accepted courtesy which,
in dealing with ugly social blots such as
the above, erases the published initials, or
name and address of the offender, and Mr.
Punch, who is orthodox, follows the fashion.
But he doubts whether it is always a wise
or a right thing to do so. It seems hard
that a poor Governess should not be warned
off such a home as that offered in this ad-
vertisement, where it is quite clear that if,
on the one hand, she escape the menial food
prepared for her in the kitchen, she may
have to face something infinitely more de-
grading and unrefined, in the shape of the
social atmosphere of the drawing-room.

Lines on Legal Proceedings.

I)e Contumace Capiendo.

Fie, what prolixity of jaw!

0, De Loquace Occludendo,

That there were such a Writ in Law l

Different Droves.

At recent Live Meat Shows much atten-
tion has been attracted by some particularly
fine specimens of Polled Scotch Cattle.
Polled howsoever these cattle may be, they
are a breed incapable of Bribery.