DOI issue:
March 3, 1883
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17754#0113
106
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 3, 1883,
AMBIGUOUS !
His Own. “ I LIKE TO LEAN AGAINST YOUR HEAD, JOHN. It 's SO SOFT !
THE MAGNATE AND THE SILVER STREAK
Air—“ The Magnet and the Silver Churn.”
A Magnate sat in a big board-room,
But on bis brow was a cloud of gloom ;
And as he sits in the Chairman’s chair,
He talks to the bold Directors there.
He rolls his eye around and he scans
The railway maps and the foreshore plans :
Says he, “ Now listen, and, while I speak,
I ’ll quite demolish the Silver Streak !
The Silver Streak! The Silver Streak f
“ Don’t think I’m funning.
But I’ve a cunning
Plan that is quite unique:
I ’ll sink a funnel,
And drive a Tunnel
Beneath the Silver Streak ! ”
The Army, Navy, and Royal Marines,
And Dukes, and Bishops, and Rural Deans ;
The Volunteers and the Coastguard too,
Said, “ Oh dear me, this will never do ! ”
And all declared they should be much vext
If Dover to France were thus annext:
They howled and yelled at the railway clique,
Who sought to tunnel the Silver Streak !
The Silver Streak ! The Silver Streak T
While this emphatic
And autocratic
Magnate began so seek,
As much as ever,
By bold endeavour—
To pierce the Silver Streak!
\And matters have progressed no further at present.
The O’Mulligan, who is loyal to the last drop in the
handiest whiskey-bottle, found great difficulty after his
seventeenth tumbler (he had been on the floor of the House
several times in the course of the argument) in denouncing
“th’ Ashshoshiashun for Ashshashinashun.”
A MINISTERIAL STATEMENT.
; Scene—The Palais Bourbon, if either of the two objectionable terms
be allowed. Ministers, prospective, departed, and some even
present mounting the Tribune in rapid succession.
President Brisson. Now, then, huissier, who’s the next Premier
inscribed ? And tell that crowd of Prime Ministers in the corridor
to keep quiet. One can’t hear the simple Deputies for the noise the
Premiers are making. M. Ferry, you have the parole.
Ferry [confidently). I generally have. I am used to it. But,
huissier, change the glass of sugar-and-water. It has already been
used by three Ministers ; and if they weren’t particularly thirsty, 1
am. I have just been having three hours with G-revy ; and if you
knew how dry the Elysee is—je ne vous dis que ca ! I demand the
first interpellation.
President Brisson. II n'en manque pas : we are only at the
hundred-and-seventh as yet. M. Cassagnac has one which may
amuse the Chamber a little more than the others, and perhaps he
will oblige.
[Cassagnac obliges, goes through his usual little entertainment of
insulting a colleague or two, calling the President a black-
guard, being censured three times, and is received into the
arms of Cuneo d’Orleans as he descends from the Tribune.
After a little shaking of fists, the President of the Council
re-ascends.
President of Council. Gentlemen, after the esteemed speech of our
honourable colleague, whom your legitimate-
[Cris a Gauche: “Legitimate! Legitimate! Pas de Legiti-
misme ! Nous sommes vendus ! The Government conspires !
Finis Beipublicce /” They rise in the attitude of David’s
Picture of the Girondins, and unitedly protrude their
tongues at the Ministerial bench.
Ferry (clinging hard to Tribune). Luckily, the Ministerial bench
is empty. Messieurs, otherwise the blood of legislators must have
flowed this evening, or, at least, to-morrow morning before breakfast.
It is always done before breakfast, but I don’t know why, although
I am an Advocate, and have been three times Premier. You want
to know our policy. Well, Messieurs, our policy is, to begin with,
to have a Government.
\_Ecstatic cheering on Government benches, wherever they may
happen to be. Ferry comes down, and is carried in triumph,
and remarkably uncomfortable arms, by four Gentlemen who
have been promised bureaux de tabac for to-morrow.
President Brisson. The interpellation of M. Clovis Hugues is
about due. He can come up.
Clovis Hugues. I am a Poet and come from Marseilles, therefore
you can’t expect any oppressive amount of coherence from me, and
I also be0- as a Socialist—(shrieks and scent-bottles on the Bight)—
to repudiate the opprobrious epithet of Monsieur. (Groans of Centre.)
As simple Citoyen, I want to know what the Government are going
to do with the Princes ? I can reconcile duty with mercy; and I do
not demand the guillotine.
[Falls into the arms of enthusiastic Left, and Citoyennes m caps
throw flowers—red—from the galleries.
Premier Ferry. The Government—[aside)— I wish the Government
would come; it must have lost the omnibus— [aloud)—the Government
has every intention of treating the Princes with every respect due to
their rank, together with every respect due to the Republic.
Chamber [almost united). Bravo ! Something like a Ministerial
statement, that. _ . T j
Ferry [flattered, but anxious). Awfully nice, of course; but I do
wish that Cabinet would come. I ’ll pay them fiacres next time and
even then, perhaps, they wouldn’t.
Special Meeting of the Blue Ribbon Army.—Thursday,
March 15. On the Banks of the Thames, between Putney and
Mortlake. __
What the English Public would like to be sure of is, not that all
the Assassins will turn informers, but that of the “ Murder-in-
Irish” conspiracy none of the Parnellites are approvers.
Notice. — In consequence of extra go-to-press-ure of work,
“ Another Little Holiday ” is unavoidably postponed.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 3, 1883,
AMBIGUOUS !
His Own. “ I LIKE TO LEAN AGAINST YOUR HEAD, JOHN. It 's SO SOFT !
THE MAGNATE AND THE SILVER STREAK
Air—“ The Magnet and the Silver Churn.”
A Magnate sat in a big board-room,
But on bis brow was a cloud of gloom ;
And as he sits in the Chairman’s chair,
He talks to the bold Directors there.
He rolls his eye around and he scans
The railway maps and the foreshore plans :
Says he, “ Now listen, and, while I speak,
I ’ll quite demolish the Silver Streak !
The Silver Streak! The Silver Streak f
“ Don’t think I’m funning.
But I’ve a cunning
Plan that is quite unique:
I ’ll sink a funnel,
And drive a Tunnel
Beneath the Silver Streak ! ”
The Army, Navy, and Royal Marines,
And Dukes, and Bishops, and Rural Deans ;
The Volunteers and the Coastguard too,
Said, “ Oh dear me, this will never do ! ”
And all declared they should be much vext
If Dover to France were thus annext:
They howled and yelled at the railway clique,
Who sought to tunnel the Silver Streak !
The Silver Streak ! The Silver Streak T
While this emphatic
And autocratic
Magnate began so seek,
As much as ever,
By bold endeavour—
To pierce the Silver Streak!
\And matters have progressed no further at present.
The O’Mulligan, who is loyal to the last drop in the
handiest whiskey-bottle, found great difficulty after his
seventeenth tumbler (he had been on the floor of the House
several times in the course of the argument) in denouncing
“th’ Ashshoshiashun for Ashshashinashun.”
A MINISTERIAL STATEMENT.
; Scene—The Palais Bourbon, if either of the two objectionable terms
be allowed. Ministers, prospective, departed, and some even
present mounting the Tribune in rapid succession.
President Brisson. Now, then, huissier, who’s the next Premier
inscribed ? And tell that crowd of Prime Ministers in the corridor
to keep quiet. One can’t hear the simple Deputies for the noise the
Premiers are making. M. Ferry, you have the parole.
Ferry [confidently). I generally have. I am used to it. But,
huissier, change the glass of sugar-and-water. It has already been
used by three Ministers ; and if they weren’t particularly thirsty, 1
am. I have just been having three hours with G-revy ; and if you
knew how dry the Elysee is—je ne vous dis que ca ! I demand the
first interpellation.
President Brisson. II n'en manque pas : we are only at the
hundred-and-seventh as yet. M. Cassagnac has one which may
amuse the Chamber a little more than the others, and perhaps he
will oblige.
[Cassagnac obliges, goes through his usual little entertainment of
insulting a colleague or two, calling the President a black-
guard, being censured three times, and is received into the
arms of Cuneo d’Orleans as he descends from the Tribune.
After a little shaking of fists, the President of the Council
re-ascends.
President of Council. Gentlemen, after the esteemed speech of our
honourable colleague, whom your legitimate-
[Cris a Gauche: “Legitimate! Legitimate! Pas de Legiti-
misme ! Nous sommes vendus ! The Government conspires !
Finis Beipublicce /” They rise in the attitude of David’s
Picture of the Girondins, and unitedly protrude their
tongues at the Ministerial bench.
Ferry (clinging hard to Tribune). Luckily, the Ministerial bench
is empty. Messieurs, otherwise the blood of legislators must have
flowed this evening, or, at least, to-morrow morning before breakfast.
It is always done before breakfast, but I don’t know why, although
I am an Advocate, and have been three times Premier. You want
to know our policy. Well, Messieurs, our policy is, to begin with,
to have a Government.
\_Ecstatic cheering on Government benches, wherever they may
happen to be. Ferry comes down, and is carried in triumph,
and remarkably uncomfortable arms, by four Gentlemen who
have been promised bureaux de tabac for to-morrow.
President Brisson. The interpellation of M. Clovis Hugues is
about due. He can come up.
Clovis Hugues. I am a Poet and come from Marseilles, therefore
you can’t expect any oppressive amount of coherence from me, and
I also be0- as a Socialist—(shrieks and scent-bottles on the Bight)—
to repudiate the opprobrious epithet of Monsieur. (Groans of Centre.)
As simple Citoyen, I want to know what the Government are going
to do with the Princes ? I can reconcile duty with mercy; and I do
not demand the guillotine.
[Falls into the arms of enthusiastic Left, and Citoyennes m caps
throw flowers—red—from the galleries.
Premier Ferry. The Government—[aside)— I wish the Government
would come; it must have lost the omnibus— [aloud)—the Government
has every intention of treating the Princes with every respect due to
their rank, together with every respect due to the Republic.
Chamber [almost united). Bravo ! Something like a Ministerial
statement, that. _ . T j
Ferry [flattered, but anxious). Awfully nice, of course; but I do
wish that Cabinet would come. I ’ll pay them fiacres next time and
even then, perhaps, they wouldn’t.
Special Meeting of the Blue Ribbon Army.—Thursday,
March 15. On the Banks of the Thames, between Putney and
Mortlake. __
What the English Public would like to be sure of is, not that all
the Assassins will turn informers, but that of the “ Murder-in-
Irish” conspiracy none of the Parnellites are approvers.
Notice. — In consequence of extra go-to-press-ure of work,
“ Another Little Holiday ” is unavoidably postponed.