DOI issue:
September 20, 1884
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17757#0142
September 20. 1884 ] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 135
LOCAL.
SUNDAY MORNING.
Tourist [staying at the Glenmulctem Hotel— dubiously). “Can I—ah—have a Boat?” Boatman. “ Oo—ate!”
Tourist. “But I thought you—ah—never broke the—aw—Sabbath in Scotland?”
Boatman. “ Aweel, ye ken the Sawbath diisna’ come doon to the Loch—it just staps at the Hottle !”
VESTRY’D INTERESTS.
Little Mud-Salad Again ! — Mr. Punch begs to state that
within the last few weeks he has received several letters on the sub-
ject of Goodge Street alias Little Mud-Salad Market. It appears
that it is the St. Pancras Vestry, and not that of Marylebone, which
is responsible for permitting the existence of the muck of Little
Mud-Salad Market. The al fresco market is still there, the vege-
! table refuse is strewn about, the shops are unapproachable by cus-
■ tomers in cab or carriage, and the roadway is dangerously slippery
i for the equestrian.
Of course, if the object of the St. Pancras Vestry,—and Mr.
j Punch trusts that he has got the right pig by the ear this time
in this stye of a thoroughfare, — is to rival the Great Mud-Salad
Market, the glory of his Grace of Mudford, then the Vestrymen are
to be sincerely congratulated on their success up to now. We are
bound to say, however, that our Correspondents, there resident and
round and about that quarter,” do not take the laudatory view of
the St. Pancratic inaction. “ Marylebone Vestry,” writes one
Goodgestreeter, ‘1 has done something for Mortimer Street, the pave-
ment by the Hospital has been improved ; but in Goodge Street three
cripples came one morning and moved a few stones, and then
j replaced them.” Never mind; every great reform must have a
beginning ; and if this first step is an indication, Mr. Punch at once
■encourages them with, “ Go it, you cripples! ”
“ Redistribution of Seats” (much needed).—Giving them to all
i the. shop-girls and young women behind the counter, who are on
; their legs from morning to night. This will modify Female Sufferage,
and do away entirely with a standing grievance.
HUMANITY AND HOAX.
There’s a new “ Denomination ” with no manner of affinity
To any but ihe Agnostical or Nothingarian creed.
’Tis dogmatic altogether, but so counter to divinity,
That they name it the “ Religion of Humanity,” indeed.
Then ’tis Positivism styled, too—but that term requires apology;
Since, for all its Positivity, Negation is its base,
As it teaches its believers systematic atheology,
With the Universal Brotherhood of all the Human Race.
It acknowledges a “ Something” which is Unknown and Unknowable,
At the same time the “ AIL Being and the Ultimate Reality,”
But, being quite cocksure that no such Entity is sbowable,
It repudiates all opinion as to “ Supernaturality.”
But here, upon this bank and shoal of Time, as Macbeth phrases it,
It stands and jumps the question which Macbeth was game to jump,
Thereupon refusing argument, with anyone who raises it
In pamphlet, or in pulpit, or on platform, or on stump.
You can scarce pronounce it heterodoxy ; that would be erroneous,
And if you want an epithet whereby this craze to call,
That of Paradoxy apter were, perhaps, and more idoneous ;
For that all the doxy in it is apparently at all.
Political Doctors.—Mrs. Ramsbotham is astonished to hear there
are parties who complain of the Government for vacillation. .Con-
sidering what a dreadful distemper Smallpox is, she has no patience
with those Anti-Vacillationists.
New Novel by Mr. Gladstone.— The Art of Midlothian.
Salvation Army Riots.—More Rowdyism than Religion.
LOCAL.
SUNDAY MORNING.
Tourist [staying at the Glenmulctem Hotel— dubiously). “Can I—ah—have a Boat?” Boatman. “ Oo—ate!”
Tourist. “But I thought you—ah—never broke the—aw—Sabbath in Scotland?”
Boatman. “ Aweel, ye ken the Sawbath diisna’ come doon to the Loch—it just staps at the Hottle !”
VESTRY’D INTERESTS.
Little Mud-Salad Again ! — Mr. Punch begs to state that
within the last few weeks he has received several letters on the sub-
ject of Goodge Street alias Little Mud-Salad Market. It appears
that it is the St. Pancras Vestry, and not that of Marylebone, which
is responsible for permitting the existence of the muck of Little
Mud-Salad Market. The al fresco market is still there, the vege-
! table refuse is strewn about, the shops are unapproachable by cus-
■ tomers in cab or carriage, and the roadway is dangerously slippery
i for the equestrian.
Of course, if the object of the St. Pancras Vestry,—and Mr.
j Punch trusts that he has got the right pig by the ear this time
in this stye of a thoroughfare, — is to rival the Great Mud-Salad
Market, the glory of his Grace of Mudford, then the Vestrymen are
to be sincerely congratulated on their success up to now. We are
bound to say, however, that our Correspondents, there resident and
round and about that quarter,” do not take the laudatory view of
the St. Pancratic inaction. “ Marylebone Vestry,” writes one
Goodgestreeter, ‘1 has done something for Mortimer Street, the pave-
ment by the Hospital has been improved ; but in Goodge Street three
cripples came one morning and moved a few stones, and then
j replaced them.” Never mind; every great reform must have a
beginning ; and if this first step is an indication, Mr. Punch at once
■encourages them with, “ Go it, you cripples! ”
“ Redistribution of Seats” (much needed).—Giving them to all
i the. shop-girls and young women behind the counter, who are on
; their legs from morning to night. This will modify Female Sufferage,
and do away entirely with a standing grievance.
HUMANITY AND HOAX.
There’s a new “ Denomination ” with no manner of affinity
To any but ihe Agnostical or Nothingarian creed.
’Tis dogmatic altogether, but so counter to divinity,
That they name it the “ Religion of Humanity,” indeed.
Then ’tis Positivism styled, too—but that term requires apology;
Since, for all its Positivity, Negation is its base,
As it teaches its believers systematic atheology,
With the Universal Brotherhood of all the Human Race.
It acknowledges a “ Something” which is Unknown and Unknowable,
At the same time the “ AIL Being and the Ultimate Reality,”
But, being quite cocksure that no such Entity is sbowable,
It repudiates all opinion as to “ Supernaturality.”
But here, upon this bank and shoal of Time, as Macbeth phrases it,
It stands and jumps the question which Macbeth was game to jump,
Thereupon refusing argument, with anyone who raises it
In pamphlet, or in pulpit, or on platform, or on stump.
You can scarce pronounce it heterodoxy ; that would be erroneous,
And if you want an epithet whereby this craze to call,
That of Paradoxy apter were, perhaps, and more idoneous ;
For that all the doxy in it is apparently at all.
Political Doctors.—Mrs. Ramsbotham is astonished to hear there
are parties who complain of the Government for vacillation. .Con-
sidering what a dreadful distemper Smallpox is, she has no patience
with those Anti-Vacillationists.
New Novel by Mr. Gladstone.— The Art of Midlothian.
Salvation Army Riots.—More Rowdyism than Religion.