DOI Heft:
August 27, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0101
96
[August 27, 1892.
"Bless me !"
looking, more in sorrow than anger, at noble Lord- hurrying out
with unwonted agility.
" They made a mistake," he murmured; " especially Halsbtjby.
All I wanted was to propose vote of thanks to him for the grace and
dignity with which he has presided over Debates in this House, and
the manner in which he has, by his dispensation of patronage, pre-
served the highest traditions of his office, and even raised its lofty
tone. Too late now, too late ; " and the old gentleman _ putting his
crumpled papers in his pocket, and wrapping his soiled pocket-
handkerchief round the knob of his walking-stick, strode sadly
forth.
Perhaps it was sight of this pathetic figure that sobered the
Maekiss. Anyhow, as we walked out toge-
ther, found him in subdued mood, more
fitting the occasion than that assumed when
addressing House. "All over at last,
Toby," he said; "and I may go down to
Hatfield, take off my coat, and have a day's,
or even a week's serene pleasure in my
workshop. I'm nobody of any account now,
ni Premier, ni Foreign Minister. Do you
remember the lines written by an unknown
hand on the ruins of Berytus, which
Teyphon, King of Syria, sacked a hundred
and forty years before the Star rose at Beth-
lehem ? I was thinking of them just now,
even when I was chaffing Kimbebley :—
' Stay not your course, 0 Mariners, or me,
Nor furl your sails—is not my harbour dry ?
Nought but one vast, forsaken tomb am I.
But steer for other lands, from sorroAv free,
Where, by a happier and more prosp'rous shore,
Your anchor ye may drop, and rest your oar.' "
"Not at all," I said.
Rather an inadequate remark, I see, when
Ifcome to write it down. I'd say some-
thing better if the Mabkiss would repeat
the lines.
Business done.—Mabkiss announces Resig-
nation of Ministry.
House of Commons, Thursday. — House
seems to have been meeting all day. Began at three o'clock;
Sitting suspended at half-past; resumed at 4"30; off again till
nine; might have been continued indefinitely through night, only
thunderstorm of unparalleled ferocity burst over Metropolis, and
put an end to further manoeuvring. "Bless me!" tremulously
murmured Lord Salisbury's Black Man, as a peal of thunder
shook Clock Tower, and lighted up House of Lords with lurid
flame, " if these are home politics, wish I'd stayed in far-off Ind."
At first gathering in Commons, parties
changed sides. " The sheep to the right,
the goats to the left," as William
Field, Esq., M.P., said, daintily crossing
the floor.
This remark does not imply anything
rude. Fact is Fielb, when at home in
Dublin, holds lofty position of Presi-
dent of Irish Cattle-Traders' and Stock-
Owners' Association. Similes from the
stockyard come naturally to his lips.
Promises to be acquisition to Parliamen-
tary life. Is certainly lovely to look
upon, with his flowing hair, his soft felt
hat, the glossy black of his necktie con-
trasting with glossy white of his bound-
less shirt-front. Thought at first he was
a poet; rather disappointing to find he's
only a butcher. Whatever he be, he's
refreshing to the eye, wearied with mono-
tony of last Parliament.
Writs moved for new Elections conse-
quent on acceptance of Office. Lobby
seems full of new Whips, whom Jacoby
grimly eyes. Caustoit with unusually
troubled look on manly brow, " What's
the matter?" I asked. "Afraid you'll
be chucked ?"■
William Field, Esq., M.P. "Oh, no!" he said; " Southwark's
safe enough. But they 're such doosc
of fellows down there. Remember at General Election one took
me neat. After I had made speech to crowded meeting, lot of
questions put, Answered them all satisfactorily. At last one
fellow got up, asked me, in voice of thunder, ' Are you, in favoiir
of temperance ? ' Rather ticklish thing that, you know. As many
against it as for it, Looked all round the room; seemed remarkably
decent lot; the man who was heckling me a little rubicund as to the
nose ; but that might be indigestion. Anyhow, felt unless I could
satisfy him, I'd lose his vote. 4 Are you in favour of temperance ?'
he roared again. ' Yes, I am ;' I said, heartily. • Then I ain't!'
he roared back; and stamped his way out of the room. That's the
sort of fellows they are down at Southwark. Never know where you
have 'em. Generally turns out they have you."
Business done.—Thunderstorm and Prorogation.
THE BUILDER AND THE ARCHITECT.
The sun was shining on the fog,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The London day look bright—
And yet it seemed as though it
were
The middle of the night.
The Builder and the Architect
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such eligible land:
" If this were only built upon,"
They said,'' it would be grand!''
The Builder and the Architect
Went on a year or so [ground
Building _ damp villas on damp
Conveniently low:
And still some little houses stood
Quite empty in the row.
"I cannot think," the Builder
said,
'' Why people should complain
Of mortar made of mudfromroads,
Or roofs that let in rain,
Or sewer-gas that comes from an
Unventilated drain."
Oh, _ Tenants, come and live j " A fair return," the Builder said,
" Two hundred, say, per cent.,
Is all the profit that I want
On anything I've spent, [dear,
Now, if you're ready, Tenants
with us! "
The Builder did entreat,
'' And take a little villa in
This countrified retreat,
Where stand straight rows of
houses,
So very new and neat! "
The elder Tenants looked at him,
But never a word said they ;
The elder Tenants winked their
eyes,
As though they meant to say,
" Old birds, like we, are never
caught
By chaff in such a way."
But four young Tenants hurried
up,
Each eager to rent one ;
Their looks were pale, their faces
white,
Like muffins underdone—
Which was not odd, because, you
know,
They never saw the sun.
I '11 take the quarter's rent."
"But not from us," the Tenants
"The houses are so new, [cried,
They've made us all so very ill
We don't know what to do."
" The County Court," the Builder
" Is very near to you." [said,
"I tell you what," the Builder
said,
'' I fear that I must seize
Your furniture, unless you pay ;
So fork out, if you please."
And even he, in that damp air,
Began to cough and sneeze.
"Oh, Tenants," said the Architect,
"Just think what I have done,
Designing such [esthetic homes!"
But answer came there none—
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd perished every one.
Under Consideration, August 21.
No appointment could be more appropriate and in accordance with
the fitness of things than to make a Gabdnek the new Minister of
Agriculture. Of course it has been suggested that a Rural Dean
should succeed to the vacant Chaplincy.
NOTICE.—Kejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule
there will be no exception.
[August 27, 1892.
"Bless me !"
looking, more in sorrow than anger, at noble Lord- hurrying out
with unwonted agility.
" They made a mistake," he murmured; " especially Halsbtjby.
All I wanted was to propose vote of thanks to him for the grace and
dignity with which he has presided over Debates in this House, and
the manner in which he has, by his dispensation of patronage, pre-
served the highest traditions of his office, and even raised its lofty
tone. Too late now, too late ; " and the old gentleman _ putting his
crumpled papers in his pocket, and wrapping his soiled pocket-
handkerchief round the knob of his walking-stick, strode sadly
forth.
Perhaps it was sight of this pathetic figure that sobered the
Maekiss. Anyhow, as we walked out toge-
ther, found him in subdued mood, more
fitting the occasion than that assumed when
addressing House. "All over at last,
Toby," he said; "and I may go down to
Hatfield, take off my coat, and have a day's,
or even a week's serene pleasure in my
workshop. I'm nobody of any account now,
ni Premier, ni Foreign Minister. Do you
remember the lines written by an unknown
hand on the ruins of Berytus, which
Teyphon, King of Syria, sacked a hundred
and forty years before the Star rose at Beth-
lehem ? I was thinking of them just now,
even when I was chaffing Kimbebley :—
' Stay not your course, 0 Mariners, or me,
Nor furl your sails—is not my harbour dry ?
Nought but one vast, forsaken tomb am I.
But steer for other lands, from sorroAv free,
Where, by a happier and more prosp'rous shore,
Your anchor ye may drop, and rest your oar.' "
"Not at all," I said.
Rather an inadequate remark, I see, when
Ifcome to write it down. I'd say some-
thing better if the Mabkiss would repeat
the lines.
Business done.—Mabkiss announces Resig-
nation of Ministry.
House of Commons, Thursday. — House
seems to have been meeting all day. Began at three o'clock;
Sitting suspended at half-past; resumed at 4"30; off again till
nine; might have been continued indefinitely through night, only
thunderstorm of unparalleled ferocity burst over Metropolis, and
put an end to further manoeuvring. "Bless me!" tremulously
murmured Lord Salisbury's Black Man, as a peal of thunder
shook Clock Tower, and lighted up House of Lords with lurid
flame, " if these are home politics, wish I'd stayed in far-off Ind."
At first gathering in Commons, parties
changed sides. " The sheep to the right,
the goats to the left," as William
Field, Esq., M.P., said, daintily crossing
the floor.
This remark does not imply anything
rude. Fact is Fielb, when at home in
Dublin, holds lofty position of Presi-
dent of Irish Cattle-Traders' and Stock-
Owners' Association. Similes from the
stockyard come naturally to his lips.
Promises to be acquisition to Parliamen-
tary life. Is certainly lovely to look
upon, with his flowing hair, his soft felt
hat, the glossy black of his necktie con-
trasting with glossy white of his bound-
less shirt-front. Thought at first he was
a poet; rather disappointing to find he's
only a butcher. Whatever he be, he's
refreshing to the eye, wearied with mono-
tony of last Parliament.
Writs moved for new Elections conse-
quent on acceptance of Office. Lobby
seems full of new Whips, whom Jacoby
grimly eyes. Caustoit with unusually
troubled look on manly brow, " What's
the matter?" I asked. "Afraid you'll
be chucked ?"■
William Field, Esq., M.P. "Oh, no!" he said; " Southwark's
safe enough. But they 're such doosc
of fellows down there. Remember at General Election one took
me neat. After I had made speech to crowded meeting, lot of
questions put, Answered them all satisfactorily. At last one
fellow got up, asked me, in voice of thunder, ' Are you, in favoiir
of temperance ? ' Rather ticklish thing that, you know. As many
against it as for it, Looked all round the room; seemed remarkably
decent lot; the man who was heckling me a little rubicund as to the
nose ; but that might be indigestion. Anyhow, felt unless I could
satisfy him, I'd lose his vote. 4 Are you in favour of temperance ?'
he roared again. ' Yes, I am ;' I said, heartily. • Then I ain't!'
he roared back; and stamped his way out of the room. That's the
sort of fellows they are down at Southwark. Never know where you
have 'em. Generally turns out they have you."
Business done.—Thunderstorm and Prorogation.
THE BUILDER AND THE ARCHITECT.
The sun was shining on the fog,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The London day look bright—
And yet it seemed as though it
were
The middle of the night.
The Builder and the Architect
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such eligible land:
" If this were only built upon,"
They said,'' it would be grand!''
The Builder and the Architect
Went on a year or so [ground
Building _ damp villas on damp
Conveniently low:
And still some little houses stood
Quite empty in the row.
"I cannot think," the Builder
said,
'' Why people should complain
Of mortar made of mudfromroads,
Or roofs that let in rain,
Or sewer-gas that comes from an
Unventilated drain."
Oh, _ Tenants, come and live j " A fair return," the Builder said,
" Two hundred, say, per cent.,
Is all the profit that I want
On anything I've spent, [dear,
Now, if you're ready, Tenants
with us! "
The Builder did entreat,
'' And take a little villa in
This countrified retreat,
Where stand straight rows of
houses,
So very new and neat! "
The elder Tenants looked at him,
But never a word said they ;
The elder Tenants winked their
eyes,
As though they meant to say,
" Old birds, like we, are never
caught
By chaff in such a way."
But four young Tenants hurried
up,
Each eager to rent one ;
Their looks were pale, their faces
white,
Like muffins underdone—
Which was not odd, because, you
know,
They never saw the sun.
I '11 take the quarter's rent."
"But not from us," the Tenants
"The houses are so new, [cried,
They've made us all so very ill
We don't know what to do."
" The County Court," the Builder
" Is very near to you." [said,
"I tell you what," the Builder
said,
'' I fear that I must seize
Your furniture, unless you pay ;
So fork out, if you please."
And even he, in that damp air,
Began to cough and sneeze.
"Oh, Tenants," said the Architect,
"Just think what I have done,
Designing such [esthetic homes!"
But answer came there none—
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd perished every one.
Under Consideration, August 21.
No appointment could be more appropriate and in accordance with
the fitness of things than to make a Gabdnek the new Minister of
Agriculture. Of course it has been suggested that a Rural Dean
should succeed to the vacant Chaplincy.
NOTICE.—Kejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule
there will be no exception.